Welcome, one and all
You found it — my blog. Satan’s blog, that is; a place for me to jot down musings, offer commentary, throw out an opinion or two, and generally make clear my will on earth.
You see, I need to get some respect. Most people in the world don’t even believe I exist. In fact, lots of Christians don’t even believe I exist. What’s an arrogant boaster to do if he can’t even get people to acknowledge his existence?
For centuries I’ve watched God put together something called the Bible, and I’ve always envied him for that. Why couldn’t I have something like a Bible? Sure, there are lots of writings out there that could be used. The Humanist Manifestos, for example, could be part of my Bible. And then there are the writings of evangelical atheists like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens; they could be collected and bound as “my word.” I agree with everything in their books.
But since nobody seems interested in putting together a Bible for my followers (including the ones who don’t believe in me), I decided to use technology to speak directly to the world via a blog. Here I will make clear my will on a whole range of topics, hopefully providing unambiguous answers to that age-old question: what would Satan do?
So read on, my friend. And be sure that I don’t love you, but I nevertheless have a “wonderful” plan for your life.