Rev. Fred Phelps, my servant
Today was a good day in my kingdom. It’s not often I have an ardent servant with the title “Reverend” making news for making trouble. Mind you, I do have many servant Reverends, but few of whom I can boast are so like me that I can truly say well done, my good and faithful servant.
The news today out of the United States is that my servant is before the US Supreme Court, in a suit brought by the father of a slain soldier. It seems that this father objected to my servant excercising his free speech rights in picketing funerals of US soldiers. Hey, you’re in the United States, buddy! Even my servants have a right to free speech. (In fact, more and more, only my politically correct servants have that right!)
An AP story from Yahoo! News entitled, High court: Does father’s pain trump free speech? lays it all out. The Reverend Fred Phelps, a pastor of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, goes around picketing the funerals of slain US soldiers in high style, carrying signs that say things like “God hates fags,” (which, I love it, is the URL for his church’s website!), “God hates America,” “God killed your sons,” and “Thank God for dead soldiers.” And for this he’s in court, in fact, he’s before the US Supreme Court! Yes, my servant, never give up.
You know why I like this guy Phelps? Because he’s a liar just like me. And he’s heartless, just like me. And he’s hurtful, just like me. And he has absolutely no idea of God’s view of things, unlike me. This is the kind of person I can use, whether going by the title of Reverend, despot, tyrant, or merely idiot. It makes no difference to me.
You see, God doesn’t hate fags! I wish he did. My work on earth would be so much easier. And God is not killing soldiers. But who cares? It’s the lie that I love. And you want to know a little secret? I hate fags. But I love homosexuality! Because I know the consequences of homosexuality. Fags I hate, but I’ll never discourage the homosexuality that destroys. Whether it be the individual or the family or society, it destroys.
So I have this Phelps servant going around representing himself as God’s messenger, and he’s actually spewing my lies. Isn’t life great!
Oh, if I could only have a thousand Phelps’s. Oh, wait, I do!
I just wish they were all as vocal. Ha ha ha ha ha.