Insult the true God for fun and profit
USA Today reports today that a mysterious blogger who set off an uproar in the Arab world by claiming he was God and hurling insults at the Prophet Muhammad is now behind bars — caught in a sting that used Facebook to track him down.
Yes, it’s true, my servants! A blogger claiming to be God!
The article, entitled “Blogger who insulted Islam nabbed in Facebook sting,” reports that the blogger used a fake name on his English and Arabic-language blogs and Facebook pages where he posted arguments in favor of atheism on English and Arabic blogs. He described the God of Islam as having the attributes of a “primitive Bedouin” and called Islam a “blind faith that grows and takes over people’s minds where there is irrationality and ignorance.”
The article continues:
After his mother discovered articles on atheism on his computer, she canceled his Internet connection in hopes that he would change his mind. Instead, he began going to an Internet cafe — a move that turned out to be a costly mistake.
It seems that after several months, a cafe worker supplied captured snapshots of his Facebook pages to Palestinian intelligence officials. Officials monitored him for several weeks and then recently arrested him as he sat in the cafe.
This blogger fellow’s townfolk, followers of Muhammad, think he should be killed; one friend demands he be burned to death. Publicly. His mother just wants him in prison for life.
Well, well. I’m glad I have no beef with the Prophet Muhammad! He and I get along just dandy. Fortunately, I merely hate the true God, and his followers rarely get violent against my servants. I’m lucky in my enemies, I suppose.
But learn from this my servants. If you wish to do my will, don’t waste your time railing against the Prophet Muhammad. Not only does it not advance my kingdom, it can be hazardous to your health!
No, instead, hurl insults at the God of the Bible, and his followers on earth. He’s my enemy, and the destroyer of my kingdom. And, as a bonus, his followers will not call for you to be burned alive in the street!
Let me illustrate how this is done. Recall this poor Palestinian blogger called the Prophet Muhammad a “primitive Bedouin.”
Now watch how a pro does it. This is what my senior servant on earth, chief God hater, Richard Dawkins had to say about the God of the Bible at page 31 of his 2006 book The God Delusion:
The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. (pg. 31)
Wam! Bam! Now that’s an insult of Biblical proportions directed at Jehovah God , the living God and father of Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit!
And the last time I noticed, Little Ricky was still standing. And selling books. And smiling proudly.
You see? Christianity, God, the Bible—not only are these fair game, they’re easy, harmless game, and even profitable game.
And you want to know something else? Here’s the real difference between God and Muhammad—a difference I have yet to understand, and demand you promise to keep confidential. This is kingdom knowledge meant only for my most faithful who care nothing about God and eternity. Make sure no one is looking over your shoulder; here it is: you can curse God, you can hurl insults at God, you can spit in God’s face, you can even ignore God, and he will still love you.
I know, my servants, I know. It’s the wildest thing ever, and it doesn’t make sense to me either. I mean, I don’t even really love you, my servants. So how can God love you all, even Richard Dawkins?
I don’t know, but he does. At least for now. And remember, keep a tight lip on that God-love stuff. My weaker servants may be led astray.
Note to file: stay out of West Bank internet cafes.
Ooops. Too late.
(Internet cafe photo by By Nasser Shiyoukhi, Associated Press.)