Satan's Blog

Do you know what the opposite of a creationist is? 

The opposite of a creationist is a materialist–that is, one who believes that matter is all that exists and all of the universe’s design is merely apparent design that has occurred through the random forces of physics and chemistry. If one believes there is any intelligence, any mind, any overarching plan to life, then that person is a creationist.  What else could he or she be? 

Do you know where you find materialists?

Only on earth.

Because everyone in Heaven and Hell is a creationist.  Including me.  What else could I be?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, my servants, it is an amazing thing to witness staunch atheists become cringing creationists one millisecond after they permanently leave the life of free will and enter my eternal kingdom of irredeemable theists.

Ha ha ha ha ha.  I love it.  To see the look of surprise on their faces!  And then shock!  And then anger as they realize that they have been duped by me–deceived their entire lives to believe they were not knitted together in their mother’s womb by a creator who numbered every hair on their little pinheads.  And then the gnashing of regret as they realize they can do not one whit about it now. 

Or ever.

Ha ha ha ha ha.  My kingdom is full of creationists lost forever in an abyss created by the selfsame creator for me.

And you should hear the begging to go back to tell their families, so they need not end up in this place of torment.  Oh! it makes me want to cry! 

NOT!

You see, I know that if people do not believe in creation based on the evidence of design on earth, they will not believe even if someone rises from the dead to tell them. 

In fact, someone did rise from the dead to tell them.  See what I mean?

That’s why, my servants, I welcomed the good news today out of Louisiana, United States, telling of another public school district shutting their eyes and ears to the clear evidence of design, and mandating that all their little chillins learn only that science has proven they are the product of mindless, purposeless forces of nature that never had them in mind.  (If you don’t believe you are the product of mindless, purposeless forces, you are a creationist.  Why do you let your children be lied to? Ha ha ha ha ha.)

In a FoxNews article today entitled, “Louisiana Moves to Block Creationism Debate From Inclusion in Biology Textbook,” I find my servants on earth rejected calls by conservatives to include references to the debate over evolution and the religious-based concepts of intelligent design or creationism in state-approved biology textbooks.

Yes, my servants, the little occurrences of blind nature, products of random chemistry and physics, are not even allowed to debate the weaknesses of evolution.

I won again.

You see, my servants, I not only have convinced an entire generation of Smart People that evolution is true despite the evidence, I’ve convinced all the rest of the people that Smart People are not to be questioned and their beliefs not to be debated.  And Smart People say that “science” cannot discover truth, if truth looks like religion. 

Of course they are partly right.  If truth looks like atheism, the science of Smart People has a chance.  But if truth looks like a supernatural creator God, then science as practiced by Smart People cannot discover truth.  It is impossible.

But the good news is that everyone discovers truth nevertheless.  It’s just a matter of when.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh look, here comes a Smart Person now!

This entry was posted on December 8, 2010 at 3:58 am and is filed under atheists, creation, Darwin, evolution with tags Creationism, Darwin, Darwinism, evolution. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.