Satan's Blog

I’m layin’ low, folks.

But I do love it when a plan comes together.  This time my plan unfolded in the desert town of Tuscon, Arizona, where you no doubt heard that 22-year old Jared Lee Loughner, a young man with a head full of my lies and a gun full of his bullets killed six and wounded thirteen when my lies and his bullets each fulfilled their intended purposes.

And you will no doubt want to send me congrats on this one, my servants.  Not only did I fashion an action to make me smile, I engineered a reaction, to make me laugh.  I’m calling it the Tuscon Two-fer, because I succeeded in ensuring that a dramatic display of my destructive power by a friend got blamed on my enemies!  Yes, my servants, the actions of one I love being blamed on those I hate.

Does it get any better than this?

My servants, I have identified only two enemies of my kingdom by name in this blog.  Does anyone remember who they are?  Yes, you are right: Rush Limbaugh (here and here) and Sarah Palin (here and here).  And who were the first to get widely blamed in the media for my work in poisoning the mind of Mr. Loughner?  Right again, Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin.

Coincidence?

My servants, you must learn to trust me.  In the United States today, there are very few people who speak truth in a manner that makes me nervous.  Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin give me such jitters that when they speak I can’t without stuttering.  So when I saw an opportunity to politicize the otherwise random shooting in Arizona to demonize my enemies, I took it.  And, of course, I was eminently successful.  I had major media outlets, law enforcement officers, bloggers, and run of the mill journalists all passing the blame straight to Rush and Sarah. 

Ha ha ha ha ha.  Yes, if only I can silence Rush, Sarah, and every God-honorer like them.  Ahhhh…that would be Hell on earth!

Now, normally I would be offended that no one is blaming me for Loughner’s handiwork.  And, I must admit, it is somewhat hurtful that no one is even suggesting my role in all this.  I mean, let’s face it, this Loughner dude made it clear, it was me who made him do it.  He had a skull shrine to me in his backyard, for crying out loud!  Except in the case of abortion clinics and extermination camps, skull shrines are usually a sure tip off that someone is up to something immoral, and possibly illegal.

Ah, but there’s the rub, my servants. Listen carefully, and you will learn a secret of my kingdom.  When there is no God, there is also no devil.  When there is no God there is no good or evil but what a man says is good or evil.  And because of this nothing is actually, absolutely evil, wrong, or immoral; everything is merely natural.  You may have to linger on that last statement, but it is true by definition.  If there is no God, and the universe is merely a conglomeration of matter, sorted by mindless cause and effect in mindless nature, then whatever is, is natural, including a man who says killing is good.  Who are you to disagree with nature?

Make no mistake.  Trust me again on this one, my servants.  Mr. Loughner was taught since he was an unaborted baby by public authorities that there is no God.  He was taught that human beings are merely another form of animal, and all living things were “created” by natural selection, a process in which organisms that can kill competitors survive, with no thought of purpose.  He was taught that ethics are situational, morals are relative, and authority is illegitimate.  How do I know this?  Because he was raised in a culture that has rejected God in society, and in public schools cleansed of all God-thoughts so that they teach practical atheism.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Ha ha ha ha ha.

And here is the best part: the question is not “what made Jared Loughner do it?” but “why don’t these things happen every day?”

You see, there are hundreds and millions of Jared Loughners out there.  I have engineered society so that little chillen’s grow up in a world that teaches them publicly that they are accidents of nature, religion is bad, God does not exist, and the government is their only salvation. 

Don’t believe me?  Try to imagine a public school teaching the opposite of anything I just listed.  Can’t do it, can you? 

 And on top of everything else, in the United States little chillens’ are not disciplined for fear of lawsuits, they are coddled for fear they will reject their parents, and they are told they are good when they are bad for fear of damaging their self esteem.  And they grow up with no absolute boundaries, no true right and wrong, and no rules but their own.  And they grow up quietly until they can act on their own.

So, tell me, my servants, why are there not many more Jared Loughners?

Don’t worry, there will be.

This entry was posted on January 12, 2011 at 12:17 am and is filed under atheists, evolution with tags atheism, Jared Loughner, mass murder, political correctness, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.