Satan's Blog

Under God.

I hate the words “under God.”  In fact, I was the first created being to make that clear.  And to this day, like most human beings, and especially modern Americans, I refuse to bow my knee. 

Yet, of course.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So you should have seen the smile on my face when I heard that today on NBCs coverage of the US Open golf tournament, NBC cut the words “under God” from a televised recital of the Pledge of Allegiance.  You can read all about it at the WashintonPost.com, in an article entitled, “NBC apologizes for cutting “under God” from Pledge of Allegiance before US Open.”

Yes, NBC apologized very weakly, saying:

Regrettably, a portion of the Pledge of Allegiance that was in that feature was edited out.

A portion?  That’s like a doctor apologizing to a patient’s family for accidentally removing the patient’s heart by saying regrettably “a portion” was removed.

And we are to believe that this particular portion was cut accidentally? 

Really?

NBC let its true allegiance show in its continued weak response:

It was not done to upset anyone and we’d like to apologize to those of you who were offended by it.

No offense taken, believe me, my NBC friends.  No offense here, at least.  Of course I know of at least one who may be offended, but I wonder if you really care, NBC.

I believe not, thankfully.

But just why was it done, NBC?  If it wasn’t done to upset anyone, why, of all the words that could have been inadvertently cut out, were these two words cut?

Let me share with you, my loyal friends and servants, what really happened.  My peeps were there, they saw it all.  Listen up.

It seems Junior Copy Editor for NBCs original Pledge of Allegiance piece was educated in a US God-free zone, popularly called a “public school” in most places.  This well-educated chap got to the part of the clip where little chillens recited “under God” and he had no idea what or who this was. 

God? Junior had never seen or heard the word “God” before except as a common swear word, and he was puzzled at just how one was to get “under” this thing called God.

So Junior Copy Editor leaned over his cubicle to ask Supervisor Sally at the sports desk who or what “God” is, and she answered while she quickly clicked away from something she was enjoying online, that “God is illegal in America.”

“Illegal?” asked Junior.

“Duh!” replied Supervisor Sally, “haven’t you ever heard of ‘separation of church as state?  It’s in the Declaration of Independence, you moron!”

Embarrassed that he didn’t know who or what God is and further chagrined because he had only a vague notion of the Declaration of Independence, Junior did the only reasonable thing: he simply deleted all references to this illegal God thing.

Which he did.

So NBC is right in saying that removing “under God” from the Pledge was not done to upset anyone.  It’s just that so few people educated people have ever heard the term before in its proper context, and have no idea what it means, that like the name of an unknown relative, it’s easy to dismiss it as irrelevant to anything important.

And what pleases me most is just how few were upset or offended. 

My work on earth is almost complete.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

This entry was posted on June 19, 2011 at 11:33 pm and is filed under atheism, atheists, Government, political correctness, public schools, separation of church and state with tags NBC, Pledge of Allegiance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.