ObamaCare.
Oh yeah. Me and my beelzebud. We done it. We pulled off forcing the Americans to take their medicine–and all it took was a bit of snooker! Even I didn’t see that one coming. But it’s done. Happy days are gone again, my friends.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Forward, my friends!
Crime.
It probably does not surprise you to know that I love crime. I love lawlessness. I love people who are lawless. I love people who believe their actions carry no moral weight beyond their selfish ends. I love people who believe they can flaunt the law because there is no one who can stop them, and if someone does stop them there are no negative consequences.
And I’m not talking about President Obama. (But don’t you just love how he can explicitly flaunt the law and get away with it? Who’s going to stop my main beelzebud??? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I love it!).
No, I’m talking plain old ordinary crime.
I am the author of crime, which is merely man’s name for what amounts to breaking God’s law (and, usually, his heart).
God?
What does God have to do with crime?
Well, apparently a lot according to a pleasingly misleading headline over at CBS Seattle. The title initially baffled me: Study Finds People Who Believe in Heaven Commit More Crimes.
Vraiment? Etes-vous sûr?
Something seemed amiss, even to moi.
So I investigated a little, and found to my great satisfaction, that my instincts were correct, and my will on Earth is lurching along just fine; it was just another example of my media slanting a story (they thought) against Christians.
No!
Yes!
You see, my servants, after the arresting title (get it?), anyone who reads the story will find a different story. The very first line reads:
Believing if you are on a “highway to hell” could impact whether or not if you commit a crime.
What? I thought this was about belief in Heaven (note, also, CBS’s editorial mistake of not capitalizing the name of a real place).
Well, there was a heavenly slant. The article continues:
A study published in the scientific journal PLoS One by University of Oregon’s Azim Shariff and University of Kansas’s Mijke Rhemtulla finds that people who believe in hell are less likely to commit a crime while people who believe in heaven more likely are to get in trouble with the law.
Well, well. Let’s think about that statement for a moment, shall we?
Go ahead, think.
I’m waiting.
Because if you think for yourself about the above statement you will be rewarded by a great insight into my almost complete success in blinding the postmodern human mind.
Oh, OK, I’ll tell you.
Note the implications of the research above: people who believe in Heaven apparently don’t believe in Hell!
How can this be?
You see? The people who believe in Heaven commit crimes. But if they believed in Hell, the wouldn’t.
Who are these people?
Well, let me gloat: these are my people.
You see, Christians believe in both Heaven AND Hell (or else they would not be Christians)
But there are swarms of my misguided out there who live by wishful thinking, and who are apt to believe in Heaven, but believe Hell is a myth.
Wouldn’t you?
After all, if Truth were mere merely convenient, so that it conformed to what one thought about it, all those Heaven-not-Hell’ers would be on their way to paradise–crimes and all!
But . . .
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh, my. Pardonnez-moi, mes amis.
Of course, Truth is not changed by what anyone thinks about it. And you should see the Heaven-not-Hell’ers as they come tumbling down the chute through my wide-open gates! Suddenly those crimes come flooding back into their now-permanently depraved minds.
After all, Earth is the only place in the universe where there are beings who do not believe in Hell.
But no one stays on Earth forever.
So, of course, just like belief in God, everyone eventually believes in Hell.
So, my servants, let’s keep this study quiet. After all, if governments and societies were led by smart and wise people, they would once again teach little chillens the truth about Hell. And if that happened I would see many fewer startled faces tumbling into my kingdom. The study authors, in fact, “believe that the study raises “important questions about the potential impact of religious beliefs on global crime.”
Yes, it does.
Shhhhh!
Fathers.
Did you know, my servants, that I hate fathers? That’s why I laid low this past week and last weekend when millions of people all over the globe celebrated Father’s Day (blechhhhh!). You see, God is a father. And he instituted the family to be led by fathers for the benefit of children, society, and the world.
So, what did I do?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yes, I do everything I can to pervert fathers and fatherhood into an unrecognizable mess of pop culture sissification, media-driven manhoodperversion, and feminist agenda boystealingschooling, and other misdeeds. Of course, along the way I (yes, moi) became a father.
Do you know what I’m the father of?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
And today, my friends, I have almost eliminated effective fatherhood. I’ve demoralized, de-emphasized, de-energized, and generally de-everythingized men.
Culturally it’s a woman’s world in the enlightened western cultures who have turned away from the father of light to the father of ____________ (look it up).
Consider pop culture. When is the last time you saw a movie, or a popular TV show, in which there was a strong, loving, mature male figure in the role of a father?
Hmmmm?
Those days are gone, my friend. Today fathers, if present at all, are portrayed as bumbling boobs or halfwit hacks.
That’s why, my servants, I was pleasantly surprised to find this weekend that the United States Government actually has a website devoted to fathers.
Yes! It even has the easy-to-remember URL, www.fatherhood.gov.
Now, I must admit that at first I was alarmed. But then I read more at the CNSNews.com article that the website is full of inane advice, such as how best to wash kids’ hands, and other vital tasks of fatherhood.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
And US taxpayers pay for this!
But here’s what I like best, my friends. The US taxpayer-funded website goes to great lengths to teach “fathers” that they are responsible for providing “a variety of healthy foods,” and to wash hands (complete with a video for the extra slow). In case a “father” is completely clueless, the website teaches fathers hand washing instructions: “Wet hands under running water, add soap, and rub all parts of hands and fingers for 15 seconds.”
Now, aside from the delight I receive by realizing that I’ve duped American taxpayers into paying to post hand washing instructions, I get great pleasure out of the focus of this government attempt at good fatherhood.
After all, my friends. As you know, man does not live by bread alone. There is a Bread of Life, which, if ingested gives eternal life. No word of that at www.fatherhood.com, fortunately. And, there is a washing of the water of the Word, which cleanses the soul. No word of that at www.fatherhood.com, fortunately.
You see, my friends, there is benefit in keeping the outside of one’s body clean, and the inside well fed on physical food. But the greater benefit comes from cleansing of the soul through daily interaction with the Word of God (blechhhh!) which feeds and cleans for an eternal benefit.
But do you think that any US government bureaucrats have a clue as to eternal values? And do you think any of those clueless have any additional clue that fathers are the key to a healthy total child?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Even asking the question is silly, I know.
But I had to ask.
So now you know.
Pictures.
Mmmmmmm…. I absolutely adore pictures, my dear ones.
Well, most of them.
So many of my friends and servants to my Master are seduced by single photographs, even addicted to them, to the point where some of them act out in our favor in real life… just because of a picture or two. It’s so easy!
I have the pleasure of using many photographers for my work. I want to let you in on some of my personal favorites as far as photos go: anorexic models (aka clothes hangers) to convince young girls that they need to starve themselves to be beautiful, Hollywood stars with fake everything to convince women that they need to have certain perfect measurements to measure up, and child porn, hetero porn, gay porn… I love porn! (Can you tell?) Just with the click of a button, so many can experience pleasure…
But there is one photographer I am not happy with today.
In a story found here, this photographer refused to provide her services to a lesbian couple, and is now, thankfully, being sued. I quote: “According to the court’s verdict, the trouble began for Elane Photography when the company was contacted by lesbian Vanessa Willock asking if they could photograph a ‘commitment ceremony’ for a Willock and her ‘partner.’ The company, owned by Christian couple Elaine and Jonathan Huguenin, responded stating that they only shoot traditional weddings, and do not do ‘same-sex weddings,’ but thanked Willock for her interest.”
Excuse me… where does this Christian (bleeecccchhhh!) get off trying to exert her First Amendment rights to photograph whom SHE wants to?
I completely support the lesbian couple for their lawsuit to take away the rights of Christians and their businesses to do business according to their beliefs. I like the fact that they are bullying the Christians. Good for them! In fact, I think they should bully other religious persuasions as well. You go, girls!
I hate the stupid First Amendment. After all, what matters is that whoever has the loudest mouth, the biggest guns, the most power, and the most money, is the one who gets to rule.
That way, I and my Master get to rule, too.
Hm hm hm hm hm…. 
Always yours,
Temptress
