Comments on: I’m Having Issues…

By: anthony paul, love of the damned

anthony paul, love of the damned — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 00:37:46 +0000

no prob. i love to read. afraid reading is becoming a pastime with the digital revolution (which i hate-twitter and facebook primarily) blogs are okay though. at least people need an attention span longer than a toddler’s to enjoy a blog.

battling depression? my mother seems to struggle with that from time to time. once again, i don’t feel or understand it. not denying her supposed misery, but to an onlooker, its transparent. i need to be able to SEE it. maybe i’m callous. or maybe i’m just pragmatic to a fault. either way, i try not to be ignorant about it, even if i have doubts about her depression’s potency. maybe i’m not as compassionate as you suggested. maybe, like most people who were hyper-active attention deficit as kids, i’m just a space cadet too often. i was going to think on this further, but i saw something shiny and focused on that instead.

these trials and tribulations must have been powerful to make you want to curse the cross, even for a second. the bible has at least one account of a faithful one coming to the brink of his trust in god. he nearly cracked under the pressure, and came within a breath of abdicating his faith. think of him next time. ask yourself if your anguish rivals his. then take a moment to remember what your faith tells you is at stake.

what do you mean by run from the cross? do you the mean the horror of the way christ died? the brutality of the abuse that WE visited upon him? i’ve been considering this, and find it very thought provoking.

By: anthony paul, love of the damned

anthony paul, love of the damned — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 00:35:44 +0000

battling depression? my mother seems to struggle with that from time to time. once again, i don’t feel or understand it. not denying her supposed misery, but to an onlooker, its transparent. i need to be able to SEE it. maybe i’m callous. or maybe i’m just pragmatic to a fault. either way, i try not to be dickish about it, even if i have doubts about her depression’s potency. maybe i’m not as compassionate as you suggested. maybe, like most people who were hyper-active attention deficit as kids, i’m just a space cadet too often. i was going to think on this further, but i saw something shiny and focused on that instead.

By: shalimamma

shalimamma — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 13:31:59 +0000

“Stormin’ Mormon”… Lol!!

By: shalimamma

shalimamma — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 13:25:35 +0000

Anthony Paul, I am extremely honored that you checked out my blog. Thank you! Yes, I have had many struggles, and many of them aren’t even written down yet. I write as I feel the inspiration to do so…

I think your feelings about humanity are completely valid. I mean, the post we are commenting on here is about the shootings in Aurora. It is hard to see God and goodness these days… but goodness is there and sometimes we have to strain to see it. I know I have to strain very hard at times, as I also fight against the demon of depression sometimes.

I understand ‘not feeling it’ as far as the warm and fuzzy about Christianity. More and more, I am learning that Christianity can be summed up in the crucifix. Love poured out. Not in the least warm and fuzzy, but horrible from a world viewpoint. From the soul viewpoint, it seems like an invitation to experience His love to the point of death.

As a very human human I try to run from the cross, almost every day of my life… but then somehow, I find that embracing it is the only way to true joy. Still, just yesterday, I was so disillusioned by life that felt like cursing the ‘cross.’ You are right that it is a personal journey. You are courageous in that you are at least seeking truth.

Blessings,
Shalimamma

By: shalimamma

shalimamma — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 13:15:32 +0000

Anthony Paul, wow, very interesting about the movie! Truth be told, I am severely freaked out by horror movies… I don’t know what the deal is, but I don’t like ‘dark’ moves (unless they are making fun of them) or even all the dark Halloween stuff. But thanks for the warning! I LOVE Indiana Jones, however… who wouldn’t?

As far as Temptress, I try to avoid her. The reason being: she reminds of myself before I found God in the true sense. I know who she is, and just so you know, she emails SOME of us privately. She is full of envy and seeks to point out the flaws (which she sees easily) of others when challenged, and she has an immense love for pleasure at the soul’s expense. She’s not an obvious ‘dark horror movie kill-with-a-hacksaw’ type. Christians don’t fall for those anyway. But Christians fall for judgments and envy and pleasures all the time, in the name of ‘caring’ and ‘warmth’… and go right to hell. I don’t think Temptress or Devilbloggger care how you get to hell… they just want you to get there. The thing is, all it takes is the name of Jesus (if you notice, they try to avoid that name) and they are gone like lightening. He really is our only defense…

As far as toyng with a demon, you make a good point about not playing around with demons. However, the greatest ‘toying’ would be to get into conversation with one on this blog and throw out something like the name of Jesus to make them shreak. But you are right… best to avoid them in reality.

I sense compassion as well as honor in you (referencing my honorable man comment)… and I find this refreshng in someone who claims to not be a Christian. I believe God’s goodness is in far more place and people than we care to believe, since most of us like to keep Him in a box…

Blessings,
Shalimamma

By: anthony paul-love of the damned

anthony paul-love of the damned — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 03:16:31 +0000

shalimamma- i found your life victorious blog by clicking on you gravatar. i spent at least an hour reading various pieces. very good writing! very brave of you, to put such personal stories of your life where many could view them. and 8 kids?! holy snikes! i think 3 at most would be enough for most average people. but your far above an average person. were you so inclined, you could write a very good autobiography. to publish, i mean, that would provide a sizeable bit of income to buffer the whole 8 kids and 2 businesses thang. even my stone heart had stirrings reading some of the more painful entries. the ones dealing with addiction/crisis of faith. the title escaped my memory, but it was quite long. you probably know which one i’m reffering to.

if had read any of your blog prior to responding to your earlier comment i definitely would have been more stern in telling you to avoid some of my previous comments. you don’t need to waste your time on my evil and nihlistic rants. as you learned, albeit painfully so, everyone must find the road to the father on their own. this is aroad i will walk, alone. that is the only way to reach truth. i have been told plenty, and even by people on this blog, that the only way to salvation is through grace and acceptance of the gift. i understand these words. i understand the idea behind these words. but i don’t FEEL them. not yet, at least.

By: anthony paul-love of the damned

anthony paul-love of the damned — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 00:46:57 +0000

shallimamma- not a true story. some of the mythology is based on true accounts. you are aware that hitler sought after religious artifacts? indiana jones wasn’t very far from the truth. hitler sought anything to give him an advantage. but i must implore you, DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM! hate to sound like a know itall, but this movie is strictly for horror buffs and gorehounds. i feel this probably isn’t suited to your taste in cinema i don’t want you watching it on my account. but, you know, freewill and all. if you insist, have at it. just don’t be upset if i say “told you so”.
i also feel compelled to mention that i have this strange feeling that you and temptress have a link , of sorts. i suppose you’ve spoken with her? has she tried to “tempt” you? looking back on previous exchanges i’ve had with her, shes not actually tried to tempt or persuade me at all. curious, no?

as far as these plans i mentioned, you can find them scattered about this blog, under different names. i would also advise you to avoid them- they are quite, uh, blasphemous? wicked? delusions of grandeur, most likley. don’t worry, they aren’t violent! (to humans at least. or animals! the jury is still out on my opinion of humanity, but i certaintly adore animals) its not that i’m trying to send you on a wild scavenger hunt, i just would like to prevent any offense i might cause.

i’m curious how a man (or woman) would toy with a demon. this seems highly inadvisable, and quite foolhardy. i only jest with temptress when she invites me to. though i’am merely a mortal man, as she would be keen to remind me, she would just as well have me forget how much our kind has in common. you see, i’am not a christian. but that doesn’t mean i don’t pose a threat to her and her masters kingdom…

By: shalimamma

shalimamma — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 11:13:57 +0000

Anthony Paul, I enjoyed reading your account of the Nazi movie… Interesting! Is it a true story? Also, don’t listen to Temptress. She is obviously upset that you are an ‘honorable’ man, and when the devil or his demons can’t reach you in a true sense, they get frustrated, grasping at straws. Are you really her ‘pet’ or are you toying with her? I am curious as to these ‘plans’ you have for humanity. I myself find you quite a mystery.

Blessings,
Shalimamma

By: anthony paul-love of the damned

anthony paul-love of the damned — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 07:00:58 +0000

i was considering your reply to an earlier statement of mine, and i realized i didn’t address all your questions. this woman i carried a torch for, its likley she didn’t share my feelings. at least to the extent that i felt them. she did like me, however. but all of this information is useless. she was, and is with someone else. its not like i suffer daily because of this;thats the way things are.
i told you i’m not vain. i didn’t mention i’m selective. picky. not prone to sleep with just anyone. so yes, i’ve rejected some women’s advances. not that i felt i was better than them! its just that there is no satisfaction in sex for sex’s sake (maybe a little, perhaps with ones wife.)
i couldn’t help but notice some of your curious wording, which i found to be veiled insults towards my manhood. “eensy weensy”? HA! my dear temptress, that only works on men who assign value to their, ahem, “endowments”. i do not. why fret over something you can’t change? (i won’t go into into specifics on this topic, but i have no complaints-use your imagination.) either way, i do like when you showcase some of the venom you must posess. don’t be timid! give me both barrels next time! i do enjoy a good roasting. most people can’t laugh at themselves, i can.
i like you temptress, but i may have insulted you on occasion. accidentally! us romantics can be quite passionate sometimes, hurting even those closest to us. but you must tell me when i “begged for you” while its true enough i inquired as to your whereabouts, i don’t recall begging. i may have gotten overly passionate (there that damn boy goes, AGAIN!). i hate to point this out, but you are free to ignore me, anytime you like. can you resist? i made it known that as long as you are here, i’am here. wasn’t much fun without you, to be honestly frank and frankly honest. did i mention my love of bad puns? i ‘m here all week, people! direct your hatred to me!

By: die for me. again

die for me. again — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 04:03:02 +0000

no temptress- i don’t put down or devalue your words. you tempt my devil when you divert your attention to fame hags such as lady gaga, however. perhaps you are so expectant of persecution that you are blinded by any seemingly challenging words thrown in your direction. i can’t pretend to understand the depth of your hatred for humanity. but i’m no fan of my own species. i’ve already made clear my long term plans for humanity. i don’t know if i’ll live long enough to accomplish them, however. i’ve decided to wait until most of my family have passed on to begin my work. once i truly have nothing left to live for, i will begin.
just out of curiosity, when have i challenged you? nevermind; that is unimportant. i’ll be more prudent when choosing my words from here on. i suppose i thought your hide would be thicker than it is, and able to deflect any criticism or intended barbs.
you’ll have to excuse my appetite for fantasy. i’m quite imaginative, and there are lots of differing theories and opinions on your kind. earlier this year, i found a gem of a movie, at walmart of all places! it was called the devils rock, and i fell in love with the film from the first frame to the last. at the risk of boring you (like you really have a “busy”or “diverse” schedule. time is something you have) during WWII, 2 man teams were dispatched on covert ops to destroy aa guns the nazis had stationed somewhere in the south pacific. such a team comes upon one of these guns, only to find it nearly deserted, and with unearthly cries coming from within. upon further investigation, all but one of the nazis have been brutally dispatched. it is revealed that the surrounding islands have an age old reputation for witchcraft, and the surviving nazi is an expert in the occult. hitler had sent him to the islands to recover ancient tomes detailing the summoning of demons. its well documented that hitler was obsessed with the occult, and thought he could use it to shift the war in his favor. the lone surviving nazi had accomplished his task, securing the means to summon a demon, and sucessfully doing so. of course, he wasn’t fully prepared, and the demon he conjured, referred to as a fem veru, was ashapeshifter, impervious to human weapons, and very quickly decimated every nazi but him. the demon could not harm him because of an incantation he possesed. as the film progresses , our two man team of heroes is reduced to one, who fights with the nazi, rendering him unconcious. our hero searches the unconcious nazi and finds the incantation. he takes it without knowing what it is. thats when the cries start again, so our hero investigates. he finds the room where the demon was summoned, and the demon, who is decidedly female, appears to him as his dead wife. i won’t go into the rest of the film, but suffice it to say he learns her true nature. i have to say, i thought she was beautiful in her true form. later in the film, she keeps trying to seduce him, in the form of his wife. this is a fruitless endeavor, as he now knows the truth. were it me, iwould have told her she need not put on airs for me, as i found her beautiful already.

you claim demons are sexless-i don’t believe this. not based on a film, of course. call it intuition. i would also like to point out that i wouldn’t divulge weakness to someone who would use it against me. the very fact that one of my perceived weaknesses disturbs you illustrates this clearly.

-still your “faithful” pet- WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!