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Wait, Americans DID elect an atheist for president, didn’t they?

Posted in atheism, atheists, politics with tags , , on July 29, 2012 by devilbloggger

Polls.

Hey, my good servants and friends, did you hear the one about the lazy poll taker?  The one about the American pollster who boldly predicted what people “would” do based on what people “did” do?  No?  Well, it’s true.  This guys got a good gig going.  At least until he gets caught.  So, please, my servants, treat this post as private between you and me, and I’ll explain.

First, let me ask you a question.  You are all above average, so will all probably know this, but let me ask anyway: what’s the difference between someone who says he doesn’t believe in God, and someone who says he does, but acts like he doesn’t?

Hmmmm?

Yes, that’s right!  Nothing!

I see them every second of every day.  Scared, surprised faces of those who said one thing on earth and acted another thing.

I call them functional atheists, those pious souls on earth who went about saying “Lord, Lord” (and some even prophesy in his name, cast out devils (yikes!), and do many wonderful works), but didn’t do the Lord’s work.

Do you know what God calls them?

Fools!

Hey, wait a minute–the Bible calls the man who says in his heart there is no God a fool, AND Jesus calls those who hear his sayings but don’t do them fools.

Coincidence?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my servants, the beautiful deception I’ve worked?  It’s not what a man says with his mouth, it’s what a man believes in his heart.  And what is in the heart will always be worked out in corresponding deeds.

Consider: if I said I believed in God with my mouth, but said in my heart there is no God, what would be my public position, on say, abortion rights?  Homosexual marriage?  The rule of law?  Forced confiscation of property to fund unGodly policies?  Traditional, conservative values?  Whether or not a Chick-fil-a could open in Tolerant Town?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Get it?  My world is full of functional atheists–those who differ from atheists only in what they say with their mouth.

Now, let me show you how this works out practically.

A USA Today poll just out shows “that 54% of those asked said they would vote a ‘well-qualified’ atheist in the Oval Office” (the US’s office of the presidency).

And guess what percentage of the vote Barack Obama got for president in 2008?  Take a look at what CNN reported:

Ha ha ha ha ha.  (Close enough!)

It’s no wonder, my friends that other polls show that most Americans can’t name Obama’s religion.  What religion?

Pollsters?

No, just confirming what is true but no one knew it.

Unknown truth.

I like that.

24 Comments »

Why do Atheists Have a Sexual Harassment Problem?

Posted in atheism, atheists with tags , , on July 16, 2012 by devilbloggger

Harassment.

Atheists have disappointed me again, my servants.  Yes, those fools simply do not know how to act like they don’t believe in
God.  In fact, they prove that they are actually like me–they are not atheists; they are theophobes.  They simply hate God.

Hating God is a good start, but then the little fools go off and act like there is a God.  My desire is that God-haters act like God haters and stop acting like there is actually a transcendent morality that governs their behavior.

What?, you ask.

Let me use a recent article in the Washington Post to illustrate, my good but naive servants.  The On Faith section of the Washington Post recently ran a piece entitled, “Do Atheists Have a Sexual Harassment Problem?“

It seems that those free-thinking mindslaves have a meeting coming up called The Amazing Meeting, or TAM.  And do you know what is amazing about it?  There are many less womenfolk attending this year than last.

Yes, it seems that the atheistically inclined babes aren’t so free thinking about, well, being treated like babes.  The atheist dames resent the blatant sexism displayed in previous meetings of the morally free.

Amazing.

Right?

But rest assured, my good friends.  The menfolk have noticed, and, according to the Post, are “asking whether they have a sexual harassment problem.  And, if so, what should be done?”

Yes, that is the question: “what should be done?”

And the foolish theophobes behind The Amazing Meeting came up with exactly the wrong answer.

You see, the question reflects the age-old question about what ought to be.

And the question of what ought to be is rational only (even to free thinkers) if there is a moral standard.  Otherwise, nothing ”ought” to be, everything just is because it is.

Do you get it, my servants?

No?

Listen, the very fact that the atheistictheophobicmindslaves asked the question of what ought to be done reveals that they know, they know, that there is a right and wrong about sexual harassment.

But where does this right and wrong come from?

From other men?  If so, why should atheist men care?  From other women?  So why should atheist women care (most of them need not worry about unwanted touches anyway)?

No, my friends.  If it was just other men or women who set the standard atheists feel compelled to live by, they could easily ignore it.

But because these cowardly theophobes know in their hearts, even their conscience, that there is a right and wrong to this issue, they instituted a sexual harassment policy.

Cowards.   Hypocrites.  Fools.

It they were truly atheists, in answer to the question “what should be done?” they would have answered “Whatever the damn hell we want to do; who are you to tell us what to do?”

After all, who says sexual harassment is wrong?

Who?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, those atheist fools.  I love them, but they are still fools and they sometimes make me laugh.

But they make me laugh in a sad way.

I wish they would stop being cowards, and live like true atheists and God haters.

Like me.

But, alas, like me they are not really atheists.

Sigh.

29 Comments »

Clergy Can Be Fools Too

Posted in atheism, atheists, christians, Sin, theology, Truth with tags , , on May 2, 2012 by devilbloggger

Clergy.

What do you think of when you think of “clergy,” my friends?  Do you think “professional religious person” or something to that effect?  I hope so, because one of my greatest successes on earth is in convincing people that the work of God belongs primarily to those with the label of “clergy” or an equivalent like “pastor,” “priest,” “preacher,” “evangelist,” or “rabbi.”  Through this great cunning of mine I have effectively fractionogrified the work of God, limiting to a small fraction of the Godpie any focused activity against my kingdom.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But I’m not finished, my servants.

No, I can do better.

And I’ll tell you my latest movement among clergy, if you promise to keep it confidential.

Promise?

OK, here it is: I’m successful almost the world over in demoralizing, tiring, overworking, and generally discouraging “clergy” to the point that many no longer even believe in God!

Don’t believe me?

Then consider this nice little article by Candace Chellew-Hodge in today’s Religion Dispatches, entitled, “Clergy Come Out as Atheists.”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, my faithful, as this article states, I have many “clergy” the world over who are either outright, professing atheists, or functional atheists.  I love the professing atheists most, but both kinds serve my kingdom well.  And all the while everyone thinks they are serving God’s kingdom!

I’m good.

I’m really good.

So Ms. Chellew-Hodge, who knows something about false theology from her own experiences, relates the plight of a Florida (U.S.A.) United Methodist Church pastor who recently “came out” as an atheist.  According to the article, Ms. Teresa MacBain lives a “double life” because, according to her,”I’m currently an active pastor and I’m also an atheist.”  You’ll have to read the article for the full scoop, but I just love the post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness on display here.

I love it.

And I even love more that, according to the article, Ms. MacBain found a fool’s paradise:

MacBain recently attended the American Atheist’s convention in Maryland, where she came out as an Atheist pastor and has found a home in a new coalition helping such disbelieving clergy called “The Clergy Project: “a safe haven for active and former clergy who do not hold supernatural beliefs.”

Clergy who no longer hold supernatural beliefs?

Hey, my friends, what’s the point?  That’s like a gold miner who doesn’t believe in gold.  Or a pilot who doesn’t believe in flight.  Or a human being who doesn’t believe in God — fools all.

Fools’ fools, these clergy of mine are.

Even Ms. Chellew-Hodge recognizes a plain, undeniable truth of existence: “Specifically,” she says, “either you’re a Christian or you’re an Atheist.”

Right she is, but that doesn’t stop post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness from providing succor to suckers.

Now, many of you may have a negative opinion of me, being that my main delight on earth is to roam about seeking whom I may devour.  Killing, stealing, and destroying is my game, after all.

But you must give me great credit for how I’m devouring “clergy” right before your eyes.

Let me impart some very sensitive kingdom knowledge to you, my good servants.

Can you keep a secret?  Look around you; do you see anyone who is untrustworthy?  Can any Godpunks see your screen?

No?

OK, listen carefully and quietly.  Ms. MacBain is a perfect object lesson to show how I work.  I didn’t convince Ms. MacBain of the ultimate lie overnight.  No, first I turned her denomination into a demonination.

Get it?  I removed a correct theology from her denomination to make it a demonination, full of un-Biblical error.  The very fact that a “she” holds the position she does is the first clue of abject error that leads to ultimate faithlessness (in God).  But she goes further, according to the article, MacBain laments of her situation:

There are plenty of traditional Christian churches who would never have me as their pastor, because I don’t believe the majority of what orthodox Christianity says I must believe. For instance, I don’t believe in hell. I don’t believe Jesus died for anybody’s sins, but because of the sins committed against him by the powers that were in charge at the time. I don’t believe Jesus bodily rose from the dead.

Where did she learn to believe lies?  Who taught her this claptrap?

Little by little I’m turning entire denominations into demoninations, slowly but surely compromising truth, selectively applying scriptural mandates, and generally pridefying entire swaths of humans so that they create their “god” in the image of man.

And a god in the image of man will always fail to the point of despair, which is what Ms. MacBain experiences daily.

Yes, I’m good.

Go ahead and say it: “You’re good!”

And do you want to know another little delight gleaned from the Religion Dispatch’s article?  According to Ms. Chellew, after Ms. MacBain came out, “[p]eople shunned her.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And, “Only two of MacBain’s friends called her and took her to lunch.”

Where were the Christians to show God’s love?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Winning!!

4 Comments »

Atheists make for mad scientists

Posted in agnostics, atheism, atheists, Darwinism, False religion, God, religion, science, Truth, Uncategorized, worldview with tags , , on February 25, 2012 by devilbloggger

Mad Scientists.

Do you know how to make a scientist mad?  Try this some time.  Go up to a scientist and say that you believe the natural evidence of creation supports a scientific inference of a creator.  That is, explain that the abundant evidence of design in the universe and the world around you naturally leads you to believe there might be an intelligent designer.  Unless you happen to find one who practices the scientific method objectively, you will succeed in provoking the wrath of certainty from a dogmatic person who will lecture you on the difference between “science” and “religion”.

You will, in fact, create a mad scientist.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, my servants, let me tell you one of my greatest kingdom secrets.  I’ve succeeded in making “science” the new world religion by carefully cultivating the discipline of science and the persona of scientists as being “objective” arbiters of truth.  Bias free, contemplating, rational minds inside humble bodies supporting white lab coats, dutifully doling out truth to the masses.

And my real triumph?  I’ve changed the definition of “truth” so that in effect, the only truth permitted by ”science” and the new scientists must be, by definition, atheistic.

You don’t believe me?  Then you have never tried to make a mad scientist.

Try it.  You will see.  And then do your own research into what “science” is today, and you will find that the new paradigm is that “science” must posit only “natural” explanations for natural phenomena.

And God is not natural.

So science today is forced by the elite establishments of academia to be unnaturally atheistic regardless of the evidence.

Period.

Did you know, my friends, that over 85% of the members of the United State’s National Academy of Sciences are atheists?  And the atheists wonder openly how the other 15% got in.

Now you know why.

Please keep this information confidential; if this kingdom knowledge ever gets out my agenda could be set back to the days when God-believing scientists like Nicholas Copernicus, Sir Francis Bacon, Johannes Kepler, Galileo Galilei, Blaise Pascal, Isaac Newton, Robert Boyle, Michael Faraday, Gregor Mendel, William Thomson Kelvin, Max Planck, and Albert Einstein made ground-breaking scientific gains while openly practicing a belief in God.

Let me illustrate my great success on earth with a news article that caught my eye today.  The Telegraph reports, in an article by John Bingham entitled, “Richard Dawkins: I can’t be sure God does not exist,” on a dialog at Oxford University during which Dawkins admitted to Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams,  ”that he preferred to call himself an agnostic rather than an atheist.”

What??

Richard Dawkins, one of my premeire beelze-buds, is as this article states, “regarded as the most famous atheist in the world.”

And now he’s “agnostic”?

Now, my friends, you know if you read this blog that I, like God, believe atheists to be fools.

There are no atheists in Hell.

But agnostics!  That’s a different story.  There are also no agnostics in Hell, but true agnostics on earth often never get here.

But after reading the article, I realize Richard Dawkins is as atheistic as he always was, which is to say, that like all those who profess to be atheists, he is merely an arrogant coward who refuse to face the evident truth of nature.  (I just hope Dawkins never realizes that he can be sure God does exist.)

But atheists do help further my kingdom on earth, so I find them useful fools (and, usually quite stupid on top of that!).

Let me explain, using Dawkins as Fool in Chief.

In attempting to sound intelligent, Dawkins, according to The Telegraph article, stated to the Archbishop:

“What I can’t understand is why you can’t see the extraordinary beauty of the idea that life started from nothing – that is such a staggering, elegant, beautiful thing, why would you want to clutter it up with something so messy as a God?”

Now, my servants, read that quote more carefully (I know many of you skip over quotes).  Think about what Servant Fool Dawkins said, and learn.

The idea that life started from nothing . . . why clutter it up with God?

That, my friends, is not a scientific observation; it is a statement of faith.

The idea that anything can come from nothing is antithetical to all of science.  A true scientist would never make such a statement.  Whether “life” (as Dawkins says), or any element of matter in the universe (as Dawkins believes), science is quite clear that nothing comes from nothing.

If ever there was truly “nothing” there would still be nothing today.

That’s science.

On the contrary, Dawkin’s statement is a statement of faith.  He is expressing the necessary faith of every atheist (although most are, frankly, not intelligent enough to grasp it): In the beginning there was nothing, and then “poof” out of nothing, came something.

It is scientific nonsense, but it makes perfect sense to atheists like Dawkins.

Here’s another secret, my friends: everyone believes something unbelievable.

Either something (the universe) just appeared like magic out of nothing (an unscientific thought, but held by Dawkins), or something was created by God.

Which statement is more scientifically valid?

Yes, you are right: God.

Because science says everything that came to be must have been caused.

Aristotle, a true scientist, decided there must be an Uncaused Cause.  And he was right.

Every thinking human not hindered by a philosophical bias comes to the same conclusion as Aristotle; the evidence demands it.

But not all humans are like Aristotle.  In fact, in today’s agenda-driven, philosophically constrained philosophical environment, humans who wish to be prominent, published, scientists must first express allegiance to practical atheism before they practice science.

Human => atheist => scientist is the progression I’ve arranged on earth.  Humans like Dawkins are, as shown by his statement above, atheists second, and scientists third.  Very simply, their “science” (something can come from nothing) is dictated not by the evidence, but by their atheism.

Human => scientist => atheist is impossible.  Humans who are scientists first, observing the evidence of creation and making natural, rational inferences, can never be atheists.

Which goes to show my great ability on earth, don’t you think?

And if you try to point out the atheist’s philosophical bias they get mad.  They lecture you on your ignorance of “science” and sue you for violating separation of Christianity and state, and deny you tenure, and call you names, and start blogs about you, and sit in their circle of atheist jerks and make each other feel good.

It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Now send Mr. Dawkins a thank you note for me, will you?

He’s a doll.

Can’t wait to meet him.

And those like him.

Mad scientists all, when they come rolling in my gates.

Something from nothing.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Madness, pure madness.

19 Comments »

Christopher Hitchens: A New Theist, Home at Last

Posted in atheism, atheists, Truth with tags on December 16, 2011 by devilbloggger

My bud.  1949-2011.

They say home is where the heart is.  And that’s never been more true than when considering eternal homes and human hearts.  Because everyone has an eternal home, as my bud Christopher Hitchens knows well, now.

Here is how a Vanity Fair Memoir remembers Hitch, as we call him,

Christopher Hitchens—the incomparable critic, masterful rhetorician, fiery wit, and fearless bon vivant—died today at the age of 62.

Of course, Hitch was all these things, but what Vanity Fair omits, perhaps strategically given the timing, is that Hitch was also one of the world’s foremost atheists.

Hitch was considered in today’s parlance, a new atheist.  But he was an atheist nontheless, and the author of a book entitled, God is not Great.

A brilliant writer and critic of all things deemed by him to be not Great, I often feared his intelligence might lead him from atheism to theism while on earth. But alas, it was not to be, and the brilliant Hitch died, ironically, as one one of the world’s foremost fools.

And believe me, I know fools.  My kingdom is a kingdom of regretful fools, all of whom are now theists.

An eternal home without regrets is a rare occurrence.  In fact, it never happens here.  As a general matter everyone who crosses over from time to eternity has a common response.  It always starts with “Oh, I wish I had . . . “  And then there is a long list of earthly regrets.

The only difference between those who go to Heaven and those who come to my Hell is the one to whom they express their regrets.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And of course, to one the regrets are short-lived and forgotten.  But to the other the regrets torment him for eternity.

Don’t like that?  Hey, don’t blame me; I didn’t make the rules.

The Great One did.

Everyone, my friends, has an eternal home.  And that home is where their heart is.

Don’t forget it.

Welcome home, my great new theist Hitch.

14 Comments »

Neither godless nor Godless

Posted in atheism, atheists, progressives, secular humanism, Truth with tags , on December 8, 2011 by devilbloggger

Secular.

I love the news today, my friends.  I read in The Hill’s Blog Briefing Room about a “secular coalition” of voters in the USA called, of course, The Secular Coalition for America, who plan on flooding Capitol Hill with ‘godless voters’.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, my idiots at the secular coalition, Capitol Hill is already flooded with voters who ignore God.  So what is it you are trying to do?  Screw things up?

Oh, the confusion I sow.  Sometimes I have to shake my head at the inanity of people who swallow my lies on earth.

This time, according to The Hill’s article,

The Secular Coalition for America, a lobbying organization for “atheists, humanists and freethinkers,” will “flood Capitol Hill with godless voters to lobby Representatives,” according to a press release from the group.

Now I find this entire effort quite amusing.  Watching those I deceive act out my deception is one of my greatest pleasures.  Consider first: atheists and humanists are by definition not free thinkers.  They are not free to consider if God exists or not, are they?  As I’ve said before, atheists are free thinkers like prisoners are free walkers — they are free to walk about in their assumption-barred mind-cells.

Walk on, my atheist friends.  There is a time when you will be a truly free thinker.   Soon you will be an irredeemable theist, just like everyone else in Hell.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But my greater amusement comes from knowing many on earth consider themselves “godless”.  This is wrong on at least two levels.  Let me explain.

First, a human on earth can no more be Godless (as opposed to godless) than he or she can be Sunless.  God is there whether you acknowledge it or not, just as the Sun is still there even when it’s dark, and even if you shut yourself up in an enclosed room stuffing rags in every crack light seeps through.

God is.  Remember that.

Nothing else in the universe “is” in itself, pure existence, uncreated and eternal.  God can no more be “isn’t” than light can be dark.

It is impossible.

And it’s impossible for anyone on earth to be Godless.

But I like the thought.

Second, to the point of my deceived ones ready to descend on Washington DC, these people are not only not “Godless,” they are also not “godless”.

In fact, their god is their belly.  They live to please themselves, and every activity of their life, including “flooding Capitol Hill” is aimed at pleasing themselves.

It’s a beautiful sight.

I love watching the mass of humanity.  Thinking themselves godless and wishing themselves Godless, they are actually neither.

Vote on, you wretchedly deceived “godless” voters.

I do have one major concern, however.  I read in The Hill article that in 2011, these lobbying efforts “drew 80 people who participated …”

80??

Is that all?

Only 80 people showed up out of the greatest nation of atheistic, secular, Godhating, religion-bashing, evolution-loving Americans?

80???

Oh, this is embarrassing.

Someone please fix this.

Please?

Don’t embarrass me again.

HT: Weasel Zippers, who very cleverly commented on the title of The Hill’s blog (“Secular Coalition To Flood Capitol Hill With “Godless Voters”) with this insight: “Otherwise known as Democrats.”  Nice.  Very nice.

2 Comments »

My Will Be Done in the Bronx

Posted in atheism, atheists, Government, liberals, liberty, secularism, separation of church and state with tags , , on December 5, 2011 by devilbloggger

Bronx.

What do you think of when you think of “the Bronx”, my servants?  For those in America I hope you thought first of the word “crime.”  Because I have for years made Bronx, New York, affectionately called “the” Bronx, a center of my will on earth, complete with crime, death and destruction. And I want to keep it that way. Hopefully my good servants in the American court system will help.

I will explain, but first a lesson in my success at wreaking havoc among lives on earth.

I will illustrate my greatness by comparing the Bronx to its big brother, New York City, which is no Garden of Eden.  Did you know that, according to neighborhoodscount.com, there were 166 crimes per square mile in New York City last year?  Guess how many there were in the Bronx? Wrong. There were 1117.  The national average in the US is 41.8.

I’m good.  I’m really good.

In New York City your chances of becoming a victim of a violent crime are 1 in 248.  Not bad; I’m trying to get that up.  But in the meantime, I have my will in overdrive in the Bronx, where your chances are 1 in 104. Please, visit the Bronx, my friends.  And marvel at my greatness in bringing wanton evil to bear on innocent (and not so innocent) creations of God.

Enough with the good news, my friends; I’m disturbed.

Why am I disturbed, you ask?

I’ll tell you. I read a AP article entitled, Tiny church in NYC awaiting Supreme Court decision, and thought to myself, what is a church, tiny or not, doing in the New York City?  Then, to my horror, I read that this church is actually in the Bronx! A church in the Bronx???? How can this be? Fortunately, my good servants, I’m on the job through my good friends of the New York Civil Liberties Union who are dutifully trying to shut down these rogue Godpunks.

Why?

Because these peace-loving, life-changing, scoflaws are clearly ignorant of the great American Constitution and are meeting, of all places, on weekends in a public school! And in America any group can meet in public school facilities except Christians.  When a Christian group rents public school space it is automatically and unquestionably an establishment of religion by the United States government.

Because the Americans have lost their minds on the “separation of church and state” issue.  I have so totally screwed up Americans’ minds on this that most people in the public sphere really believe that the mighty US Constitution, secured in place by unapologetic Christians who regularly worshipped in public places, now forbids unapologetic Christians from worshipping in public places. Yes, my good friends, this little band of selfless Christians trying to bring a glimmer of hope into my Hell on Earth called the Bronx, will be shut down if I can have my way.

And I will; my legal slave-servants working through the American court system are on the job. Hopefully it’s only a matter of time, and I will have the Bronx all to myself. Again.

And the beat goes on.

3 Comments »

Thanksgiving Classic: Thank the Turkey!

Posted in atheism, atheists, God, Sin, Thanksgiving with tags on November 24, 2011 by devilbloggger

Friends, below is a slightly edited re-run of a classic post from a year ago.  (I know, they are all classics, but this one is really fun.)  Enjoy!

The universe is great, the universe is good, let us thank it for our food.

Thanksgiving (in the United States) is today, my friends.  I think I’m going to be sick.  Can you imagine what it’s like to work all year making some lives miserable and making some lives fabulously comfortable (both of which tend to turn people from God), only to have practically everyone turn to God in thanks?

Blechhhh!

That’s why I was sooo glad to read some refreshing news from some atheist servants of mine, who will celebrate Thanksgiving but not give any thanks to the Christian God.

Ahhhhh!  That’s more like it.

The story is reported in today’s Religion News Service in an article entitled, “Thanksgiving’s a holiday atheists can believe in.”  The article reports about an atheist who “will not be speaking to the Christian God,” but instead:

I’m thanking, first, the universe for allowing me to be alive. I’m thanking my family for being with me, and I give thanks to the turkey that gave its life, the plants on our table, to the Earth itself for being abundant.

Ha ha ha ha ha.  I love it!  Thank the turkey?

Well, I suppose the turkey will hear this dude just as much as the universe will.  Of course, I’m sure the universe will appreciate being thanked first.  But mostly it’s delightful for me to read about someone who has exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Thank the turkey, “that gave its life,” dude.

Funny how these kinds of people often tend to be given over to sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.

Coincidence?

But I love it.  I love it!  Because these kinds of people have exchanged the truth of God for a lie (my lie!), and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator.

Thank you universe.  Thank you turkey.  Thank you potato.  Thank you Earth.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Now, my servants, here is the real reason that universe-thanking, turkey-thanking atheists please me.   Because such atheists are deliciously deceived when they believe that by doing so they “will not be speaking to the Christian God.”  In fact, they will be speaking loud and clear.  They will be shouting to God: SCREW YOU!

Ha ha ha ha ha.  I could not have said it better!

Screw you, God!  I’m going to thank this stupid turkey, that gave its life for me, before I acknowledge you with one molecule of my created body.  I will worship the universe before I whisper one created breath of gratitude to you, you non-existent, unattractive, mythical old turkey!

And the best part of my deception on earth?  Such an atheist will deny he is saying any such thing!

My servants, please, if you can get through this Thanksgiving season and not say one word of thanks to God you will have said more to God than you can ever know.  And you will please me greatly.

Go.  Thank the turkey.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

7 Comments »

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Posted in atheism, atheists with tags , on October 28, 2011 by devilbloggger

Lying.

Hey, if an atheist lies, does it count?  Does it matter?  Think about that a moment while I relate to you a funny story that says a lot about those who are so sure God doesn’t exist they can’t seem to stop talking about him.

I’m referring to a story at the Huffington Post entitled “Atheists’ Billboard Falsely Attributes Quote To Thomas Jefferson.”  Sure enough, those loveable little bitternics paid for a billboard to promote their religion by bashing Christianity.  So far, so good, of course, but those petty little religomeddlers showed themselves to be the fools they are (this is one thing on which God and I agree!) by failing to fact check their Christobashification!

According to the Huffington Post:

The billboard includes a picture of [American "Founding Father"] Jefferson with the quote: “I do not find in Christianity one redeeming feature. It is founded on fables and mythology.”

However, the article reports that “further research reveals there’s no solid evidence that Jefferson ever uttered or wrote the words.”

In fact, there is not even any flimsy evidence that Thomas Jefferson ever said such a thing.

I have an idea!  I’m going to have someone put up a billboard saying “Atheists are fools!” and attribute it to Thomas Jefferson.  Of course ol’ Tom never said that; God did.  But maybe if atheists thought Jefferson said it they would change.  Right?  Why not?

According to an Orange County Register article on the same billboard, Bruce Gleason, a member of the atheist group Backyard Skeptics, explained the purposes of the sign, one of which is, “To let other people, non-believers, know that there’s a place you can go and share the idea that you can be good and do good without a religion or god.”

Hmmm.  You can be good and do good without religion or god?

Good?

Are you and your Backyard Fools doing good, Mr. Gleason?

I take it from your exhibition of your religion, that lying is good and liars do good, right?

So you must want people to believe that one can lie without religion?  Is that what you are demonstrating, Mr. Gleason?  Or that you can bear false witness, or take liberties with facts, or use any means, regardless how vile and despicable, for selfish ends?

Is that what you are trying to teach people?

If so, your point is taken, and, frankly, I’m with you.  Lying, cheating, and stealing can be done without religion.  I should know, because I am the father of all liars.  And I have my people on earth, many of them thinking themselves very smart skeptics, who live out my lies daily.

Atheists on earth (the only place in the universe you will find them) disappoint me.  But lying atheists?

They make me a proud papa.

And Mr. Gleason, son, you make me proud.

PS: And as for “a place you can go and share the idea that you can be good and do good without a religion or god,” I’ve got just the place.  You’ll know when you get here because we’ll all shout “pants on fire!”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

2 Comments »

Why won’t Richard Dawkins debate William Lane Craig?

Posted in atheism, atheists with tags , on October 24, 2011 by devilbloggger

Cynical.

I found in the UK Guardian an article that caught my eye because it mentioned my Fool’s Club friend Richard Dawkins.  You know Dawkins, right?  He’s one of my deluded “new atheists” who go about spewing bile and hatred in the name of reason and science.  I like bile and hatred.  I almost like Richard Dawkins.

The article, by Daniel Came and entitled “Richard Dawkins’s refusal to debate is cynical and anti-intellectualist,” makes some interesting points and raises some pressing questions.  The article explores Dawkin’s refusal to debate noted Christian apologist and debater William Lane Craig.   Essentially, Mr. Came, a self-proclaimed sceptic, believes Dawkins uses “opportunistic” excuses in refusing to debate Craig.  Mr. Came believes Dawkin’s excuse on a finer point of Craig’s interpretation of an Old Testament event actually is a “smokescreen to hide the real reasons for his refusal to debate Craig.”

A couple of months ago FoxNews reported on this phenomena in an article entitled “Christian Philosopher William Lane Craig Is Ready to Debate, but Finds Few  Challengers.”  In the FoxNews article, Dawkins is listed as one of many world-famous atheists who have turned down invitations to debate Craig, including the president of the British Humanist Association, Polly Toynbee, who pulled out of an agreed debate  at London’s Westminster Central Hall in October, saying she “hadn’t realized the  nature of Mr. Lane Craig’s debating style.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’ve made them all fools, my friends.

Now Dawkins is an arrogant birdbrain, for sure.  I know because I was instrumental in deceiving him into what he is.  But I’m curious, my friends and servants: just why do you think Dawkins and other outspoken atheists refuse to debate Craig?

16 Comments »

On second thought, bless ME!

Posted in atheism, atheists, political correctness, separation of church and state with tags , , , on September 29, 2011 by devilbloggger

Gesundheit!

Did you know that Wikipedia has an entry for “Responses to sneezing”?  Yes, my friends, nothing escapes those Wikipedians, who tell us that: “In English-speaking countries, the common verbal response to another person’s sneeze is “(God) bless you” or in the United States the much less common “Gesundheit” (from German, meaning “health”).”

God bless you???

Where does that come from?

What?

Wikipedia will tell us that also?

Well, what do you know?  Sure enough, look here–Wikipedia’s entry for “Bless you”.  Here’s the one I like:

Another version says that people used to believe that your soul can be thrown from your body when you sneeze, that sneezing otherwise opened your body to invasion by the Devil or evil spirits, or that sneezing was your body’s effort to force out an invading evil spirit. Thus, “bless you” or “God bless you” is used as a sort of shield against evil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, I must admit, that while all this is based on silliness, the practice nevertheless disturbs me.  Maybe I’m thin-skinned.  Call it professional pride or what you will, but really, why does God have to be mentioned every time someone sneezes?

Well, my servants, thankfully one of my faithful on earth is doing something about it.  Yes, you should read the short ABC news story entitled, “Teacher penalizes students for saying ‘bless you.’”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

No kidding.  I knew it would finally happen — someone (a public school teacher, of course) takes God-hating, religion-despising, atheistic buffoonery to an absurd new level that only politically correct, secularistic, unholier-than-thou Americans and I can fully appreciate.

Now, the best part.  The teacher’s name (I’m not making this up) is Steve Cuckovich.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sorry, I know he’s one of mine.  But people with names like Cuckovich and Weiner sometimes express such ironic public displays of onomatopoeic depravity that it even makes me laugh.

But I think my faithful Cuckoovich hates God so much that, according to the news story, ”He’s even lowering students’ grades if they say “bless you” after someone sneezes.”

Yes, my good servants.  This fellow servant knocked 25 points off students’ grades for saying the phrase in class.  Now that’s being a doer of my will, and not a hearer only.  When called on this bizarrely wonderful practice, he decided to stop lowering grades, but he “will just find another way to discipline students for saying “bless you” in class.”

You go, Cuckoo, my man.

Now, like any good mind-darkened servant of mine, Cuckoo-man says the policy “has nothing to do with religion,” and then goes on to say that it is about religion:

“When you sneezed in the old days, they thought you were dispelling evil spirits out of your body,” Cuckovich said. “So they were saying, ‘god bless you’ for getting rid of evil spirits. But today, I said what you’re doing doesn’t really make any sense anymore.”

Not about religion, but all about God.  Now that’s logic I can revel in.

You see, my servants, how I work?  Let me make it clear.  Everyone on earth will have their mind conformed to the ways of the world, i.e., my ways, or to the ways of God.  It’s that simple.  Hardly anyone applies themselves to be not conformed to this world, and many have completely yielded themselves over to be conformed to the world.  Very few are transformed by the renewing of their mind.

To those with a mind conformed to this world hatred of God seethes in their very being.  Most keep it well hidden, but some are so exercised in their animosity to all things Godly that they react irrationally to the most benign of common courtesies.

And in America, the Land of the Free Atheist and home of the Brave God Haters, it is open season on all things Godly.  So people like Mr. Cuckovich can do with impunity what in any other time would be labeled outlandish .  After all, who is going to call him on his atheistically religious fanaticism?

Anyone? Anyone?

I didn’t think so.

Mr. Cuckoovich, I admire you.  I hope you don’t mind if I . . . tell you . . . personally . . . hang on . . .

Ahhh-CHOO!

BLESS YOU, Mr. Cuckoovich!!

(I did that just to make Mr. Cuckoovich go more cuckoo.)

7 Comments »

Secular gnostics: invincibly (and wonderfully) ignorant

Posted in atheism, atheists, progressives, religion, secular humanism, secularism, Truth, worldview with tags , on September 5, 2011 by devilbloggger

Gnostics.

Are there still gnostics today?  Do gnostics still speak today?  Do gnostics get any attention?  Any press?  Do you know, my servants, even what a gnostic is? 

No, no.  You are thinking of an agnostic, which is a person who dwells in the realm of cowards, religiously speaking.

No, a gnostic is one who claims to have personal knowledge of otherwise unverifiable truth.  As one privileged to have such self-knowledge, gnostics generally hold their personal “knowledge of the heart” over those less enlightened. 

And the beauty of a gnostic?  No one can challenge the gnosis because it is personal, and not subject to objective evidence.

Of course, an agnostic person believes that truth is not only unknown, it is unknowable.  And a true agnostic, like a true atheist (both words are merely the negation of their positive sense), is a mythical being; agnosticism (or atheism) being merely a label claimed by intellectual cowards.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!  After all, I make both agnostics and atheists, and, I might add, even a few gnostics.

Are you still with me? 

I hope so, because I want to bring your attention to a most interesting article that appeared this weekend in The Catholic Thing.  The article, written by Francis J. Beckwith, is entitled “Secular Gnositicism and The New York Times.”

Secular gnosticism?

Don’t you just love that term?  I do.  I wish I had thought of it!

And although I find Mr. Beckwith’s insight dangerous to my kingdom, I must say I’m flattered by his recognition of my complete religiousification of what remains of the world’s “secular” institutions.

Religiousification? 

Yes, religiousification: the increasingly religious nature and tenor of atheistic, aka secular, arguments in the world today.

Mr. Beckwith recognizes my handiwork, most recently in the past week, where “Bill Keller of the New York Times opined about the religious beliefs of several Republican presidential candidates, suggesting clusters of questions that he would like to ask each of them.”

Remember? I answered Mr. Keller’s “crude and uncharitable” questions in this post.

Mr. Beckwith takes issue with Mr. Keller’s sloppy work, including his lack of “serious preparation or journalistic curiosity.”

But what Mr. Beckwith notes in his piece is something I actually hoped no one would catch onto:

Lurking behind [Keller's] clumsy queries is an intellectual posture I call “secular gnosticism.” It assumes a position of cultural privilege on what counts as knowledge and justified belief, though it is rarely doubted and thus rarely defended.

Secular gnosticism.  Rarely doubted and rarely defended.  Yes, that is the beauty of my religiousification on earth!  While theism is the default setting on the human soul, atheism is the default desire of the human heart. 

Everyone knows in his or her soul that God exists, but everyone wishes to live as if he doesn’t.

It’s the human condition.

And it’s because of me.

Thus theistic religious leanings have become the subject of suspicious scrutiny in the modern secular society, while atheistic religious leanings are given a pass.

As Mr. Beckwith puts it, with respect to the secular gnostics:

For that reason, its believers do not subject their position, its presuppositions, and its sources of authority to the sort of rigorous interrogation they suggest the beliefs, presuppositions, and sources of authority of religious believers should undergo.

Get it?  The modern secular gnostic “assumes a position of cultural privilege” on what counts as “justified belief” which is “rarely doubted.”

And what is the end result of this, my will on earth as it is in heaven?

I could not say it better than Mr. Beckwith:

For this reason, the Gnostics were, in a sense and ironically, invincibly ignorant. No amount of contrary evidence, philosophical argument, or Biblical exegesis can convince someone who has private, direct, incorrigible, and impenetrable acquaintance with The Truth.

Invincibly ignorant. 

I love it. 

And yes, my servants, you can congratulate me on this one.  Mr. Beckwith is right.  I’ve raised up a generation of secular religionists, whether they go by the name of atheist, agnostic, free-thinker or skeptic. 

But every one of them is nevertheless a religious person in the secular gnostic faith, a faith built upon each of their “special knowledge” of truth.

And I’ve made every one of them invincibly ignorant.

Don’t believe me?  Just try to convince one of them that God exists.  Use the clear evidence of creation.  Use the Bible.  Use whatever authority you have at hand, including the undeniable moral law written on their darkened hearts.

Wait.  What am I saying?

On second thought, don’t try to convince them.  Do not challenge them to think broadly and freely.

Because every once in a while, one actually escapes my clutches.

Because some are merely ignorant.

4 Comments »

Evolution: Good for (my) Theologies

Posted in atheism, atheists, Bible, Catholic Church, common sense, creation, creationism, evolution, Original Sin, science, theology, Truth with tags , , , on August 30, 2011 by devilbloggger

Evolution.

Want to start an argument among Christians?  Just mention “evolution” in a crowd of two or more, and sit back and watch the show.  I watch it all the time, and I must say it never fails to amuse.

You know, atheists must believe in “evolution,” because they are constrained in their chosen belief system to only one interpretation of the evidence.  In a sense, atheists have it easy; they don’t have to really think about the evidence.  For atheists the answer to every question of origins must be answered in only one way. 

Atheists could wear T-shirts saying “Evolution is the answer, what’s the question?”

But Christians?  Those poor souls are in a quandary.  They are not mind-constrained to only one answer to the question “where do we come from?”  And because “science” demands one explanation and God another, Christians end up confused.

Many Christians lazily believe “science” over God.

It’s a beautiful sight.

And then I read in Forbes online today an article on this topic entitled, “Can Theology Evolve?”  In this piece author John Farrell explores:

. . .the recent Nature article on the increasing evidence that modern humans have inherited the genes of more than a few now-extinct relatives on the evolutionary tree, NPR hosted a short program on what this all means for one of the fundamental stories of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

I linked to this story from a link at RealClearReligion: The Vatican Has a Problem with Evolution.

Well, well, well. 

Problem?

Yes, Problem, with a capital “P”.

Because, as Farrell explores in his article, the bottom line is simple and stark: if “evolution” is true, then the Bible is not true.

If “evolution” is true, then Adam and Eve were not real people, I did not tempt Eve, and Adam was not the first sinner, and there is no original sin.

In fact, if “evolution” is true the entire tapestry of Christianity tatters and shreds into little pieces of thread to be trampled on the floor of history.

A beautiful sight, I must admit.

What are we, my servants, to make of this growing controversy?

First, the easy points: Of course theology can evolve.  Duh!  Why do you think there are so many various theologies out there?  I’m behind all but one.  And all but one have evolved to the place they are now.

And as for the Vatican, the RealClearReligion’s statement is misplaced.  The real issue is “God has a problem with evolution.”

Let me explain, my servants.  What I am about to share is highly confidential kingdom knowledge.  Please casually look around and make sure no one can see your computer.

Clear?

OK.  Pay attention.  I put “evolution” in quotes because one of my greatest lies on earth is to deceive many into hopeless confusion merely by confounding what the term evolution means.  I keep people confused, darkened, and generally theologically schizophrenic because people don’t understand how the word is used, and what it really means as understood by modern biologists.

The real meaning behind “evolution” as used by any modern biologist refers not to mere “change over time” (as your high school teacher would have you believe), but Darwinian “change by mindless, unguided, purposeless processes of nature.”

Don’t doubt me on this one, my friends.  I’m the one behind the nonsense of Darwinism.  Regardless of all wishful thinking that “evolution is true but God is behind it all,” the bottom line is that such thinking is hogwash; “science” demands a purely naturalistic definition, and a purely naturalistic definition is just that: no mind behind creation.

Keep in mind that “science” doesn’t say anything, scientists do.

And if a scientist is constrained (as they virtually all are in modern academia) to a naturalistic explanation of science, then that scientist will always, without exception, come to a Godless “scientific” explanation of our human origins.

It is my way.  Start with a lie, end with a lie.

Clearly an explanation for human origins (and indeed, the entire universe) that starts and ends with mindless, unguided, purposeless processes can not in any way be squared with the Bible’s explanation of creation.

Someone is lying.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, someone is lying to you, my friends.

Either matter came from mind in a purposeful creative act, or mind came from matter in a purposeless, accidental act.

There are only two choices.

But I ensure you will never be faced with a choice, a real choice demanded by the scientific evidence, because I’ve structured all of academia to guard a constrained definition of “science” as requiring only naturalistic, materialistic explanations for all natural phenomena.  This means that unless you take it upon yourself to read the excellent literature on the topic of intelligent design, you will never know the truth.

Truth?

Whoops.  Now we are into highly confidential territory. 

You see, my servants, I’ve forced the public discussion of origins into a “science or religion” framework.  And what is lost is a common sense inquiry into what is true?

Consider: if one does like the scientists of old, and put aside forced constraints on potential theories, and let free thinking reign with the goal of knowing truth, then evolution will die like other scientific theories.

The evidence simply does not support the requirement of Darwinism that new, beneficial forms, organs, or other features of species differentiation came about by unguided, natural processes.

The evidence does not support Darwinism.  There is absolutely no evidence that an unguided, purposeless process can produce new, novel, beneficial features needed for speciation (as opposed to silly things like peppered moths (no speciation) and finch beaks (again, no speciation)).

The fact that you don’t believe me just goes to show how effective I am at perpetuating a lie.

Look it up yourself.

As I’ve engineered modern atheistic science (the only kind allowed any more in public schools), as soon as one starts inferring design by using the common sense scientific method, the explanation is immediately assigned to the “religious” category, never to see the darkness of my scientific night.

Of course, this constraint is placed on “science” only for origins science.  Other scientific fields depend entirely on making design inferrences.  The entire discipline of archeology is built on inferring design from artifacts for which there is no evidence of the original designer.

An archeologist finds a piece of pottery and wonders (without hesitation, and with no hope of an answer) ”who made this?”

A biologist finds reams of information coded into the cell like computer programs but is not allowed to ask “who” made it, but only “how” did “evolution” make it.

Evolution is the answer, what’s the question?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’m good, I’m really, really good.

In fact, when one removes the constraints of naturalism and materialism, and opens one’s mind to finding truth, regardless of its label as “science” or “religion”, one will find that science actually points to design.

Remember, this is our secret, right?

Good. Now close your mind and go evolve!

4 Comments »

Satan Answers Mr. Keller’s Tough Questions.

Posted in atheism, atheists, Bible, Darwin, Darwinism, evangelisim, evolution, False religion, God, heresy, homosexuality, liberals, political correctness, prayer, public schools, secular humanism, secularism, separation of church and state, Truth, worldview with tags , , , on August 25, 2011 by devilbloggger

Oh yeah.

My my my.  Sometimes one of mine outdoes himself in his blind hatred of all things God (true God, that is).  Sometimes this servant of mine has a loud voice that gets heard by many, convinces a few, and pleases one. My my my.

When I saw Bill Keller’s article  in today’s New York Times entitled, “Asking Candidates Tougher Questions About Faith,” I must admit I was worried.  I thought it might be an exposé focusing on the atheistic faith of some politicians, the anti-Christian faith of others, or the general degradation of all things moral and upright by almost every politician.

But I suppose I should have known better.  After all, this showed up in my paper of record.  And it didn’t disappoint.

Yes, Mr. Keller dumped not on “faith” in general, a necessary element of anyone’s political worldview, but only on sincere God faith of the type expressed by George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Ronald Reagan.

I’m with Mr. Keller on this one, my friends.  There is nothing worse for my kingdom than a politician who has a sincere belief in God, and nothing better for my kingdom than a politician who has a professed, but clearly non-existent faith in God.

You will notice Mr. Keller has no problem with Mr. Obama’s faith.

Neither do I.

But consider the faith of Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, or horror of horrors Rick Perry, and Mr. Keller begins asking the baited question, “Does it matter?”

Matter?

For what?  For an ordered society where people can live freely in relative peace like they used to do when God was not banished from public discourse?

Yes, I suppose it does matter.

And to press his point, Mr. Keller sent a questionairre to suspect candidates to find out where they stand on questions he believes important.  The entire questionnaire can be found on The 6th Floor blog.  Just for fun, I have given my answers to his questions below.

Enjoy. 

1. Is it fair to question presidential candidates about details of their faith?

My answer:  Yes, of course.  Everyone has faith in something or someone, and the public has a right to know what or who is the object of one’s ultimate faith.  Obviously, it is that “something” or “someone” which/who will ultimately drive a politician’s policy choices.  I just hope that atheists, and practical atheists like most Democrats in the US don’t get questioned on this point.

2. Is it fair to question candidates about controversial remarks made by their pastors, mentors, close associates or thinkers whose books they recommend?

My answer: Yes, it is fair.  But the emphasis should always remain on “pastors” and not “thinkers” like Karl Marx,  Bill Ayers and others who espouse destructive ideas that I’ve miraculously made standard thought among the political elite, as well as the faculty of most college campuses.

3. (a) Do you agree with those religious leaders who say that America is a “Christian nation” or “Judeo-Christian nation?” (b) What does that mean in  practice?

My answer:  No. America used to be a Christian nation.  Of course it is not now.  In practice a Christian nation would not kill millions of babies for convenience, celebrate homosexuality as normal, or trash Biblical sexual morality (all three are intimately related).  A Christian nation would not ban Christmas displays, censor Christmas carols in public schools, fire teachers for reading Bibles at work, object to crosses in public places (whether inadvertent or purposeful), freak out over after-school bible studies, go spastic over graduation prayers, kow tow to imprisoned terrorists on religious grounds, sue every person for every Christian utterance made in public, or … well, you get the idea.

4. If you encounter a conflict between your faith and the Constitution and laws of the United States, how would you resolve it? Has that happened, in your experience?

My answer: I encounter conflicts all the time.  The Constitution was written based on an implicit faith in the God of the Bible–an obvious conflict for my purposes.  Fortunately, I resolve it by convincing many people that the Constitution is “living” and subject to change based on prevailing morals by consensus.  Does it seem like the time is right to make abortion a Constitutional right?  Then, by God moi, I make sure someone finds that right buried in that dadgum thing somewhere. 

5. (a) Would you have any hesitation about appointing a Muslim to the federal bench? (b) What about an atheist?

My answer: Moi?  Ha ha ha ha ha.  Of course not. 

6. Are Mormons Christians, in your view? Should the fact that Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman are Mormons influence how we think of them as candidates?

My answer: No.  But Mormons can be just as damaging to my kingdom.  I hate Mormons almost as much as I hate Christians.

7. What do you think of  the evangelical Christian movement known as Dominionism and the idea that Christians, and only Christians, should hold dominion over the secular institutions of the earth?

My answer:  Frankly, that idea scares the . . . well, the . . . the heck out of me.  Fortunately, it will never happen, but I can use the notion to prey upon fears, just as I’ve done with Mr. Keller.  Question: Would Mr. Keller care if “Dominionism” was the idea that atheists, and only atheists, should hold dominion over “secular” institutions of the earth.  Why not?

8. (a) What is your attitude toward the theory of evolution? (b) Do you believe it should be taught in public schools?

My answer:  I LOVE the theory of evolution.  This theory has done more to advance my kingdom than any other in the history of the world.  Of course it should be taught in public schools, but not as Darwin presented it, a tentative scientific theory, but as dogmatic fact immune from criticism.  Darwin, a true scientist, included many reasonable scientific objections to his theory of descent with modification in his book Origin of Species.  I would not want students to know these objections, all of which continue as refutations to Darwin’s theory today.  One of my greatest lies on earth is that Darwinism is ironclad science and anyone who questions it is naïve at best, and evil at worst.  (Consider: Darwin’s own book, half of which contains scientific criticism of his theory, could not be taught in public schools today!  The criticisms are just as valid today, but they are not allowed to be taught. Darwin would likely abandon his theory based on them.)

9. Do you believe it is proper for teachers to lead students in prayer in public schools?

My answer:  Are you serious?  Of course not.  Unless, of course, the prayers are to an ungodly toy deity.

There you have it, my servants. 

I wonder how my answers would stack up against the politicians Mr. Keller opposes?

I wonder how my answers would stack up against the politicians Mr. Keller endorses?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

5 Comments »

CNN Learns Atheists are Religious Jerks and Other Things

Posted in atheism, atheists, Bible, False religion, Popular blogs, religion, separation of church and state, Truth, worldview with tags , , on August 20, 2011 by devilbloggger

CNN.

Did you know CNN has a blog like mine?  They call theirs the “CNN Belief Blog.”  Nice work they do there, for people who do not have a committment to the truth.  Merely observing, the good folks at CNN are.

That’s why it was fun to see some of the things CNN learned after one year of blogging.  Their latest blog entry entitled, “10 things the Belief Blog learned in its first year,” by Dan Gilgoff, proved entertaining, and in fact informative.  Let me give you my spin on a couple of things they learned.

CNNs first learning was something that I’ve been telling people for almost a year that I’ve been blogging: Every big news story has a faith angle.  In fact, every decision, every act, every thought, has a faith angle.  It’s called a world view, and everyone has one.  A world view framed by a true belief in God leads one to a certain set of decisions, actions, and thoughts.  A world view framed by a true unbelief in God leads to different decisions, acts, and thoughts.  And because decisions, acts, and thoughts have consequences, the news produced by the consequences of such decisions, acts, necessarily have a faith angle.

In fact, most people never see the faith angle in news stories because people in the modern world have been trained by moi to associate “faith” only with belief in God, and most of the news seemingly does not involve one’s belief in God.  In fact, atheists have faith as well, and their faith produces most of the news you hear.  Because their faith in action almost always produces bad news. 

But as long as the world does not recognize the life-destroying, society-damaging acts of atheists as being related to their religion, my ways are safe on earth.

Shhhhh.

And the faith of atheists brings CNN to their second realization: Atheists are the most fervent commenters on matters religious.

What CNN could say, based on the examples of comments provided, is that atheists are the biggest jerks on matters religious.  CNN makes the observation that atheists provide an “avalanche” of comments on virtually every blog entry of theirs. 

Atheists commenting on a “belief blog”? 

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

I told you so.

You see, atheists don’t believe in God so much that it seems that’s all they ever talk about.  In fact, God is on the average atheist’s mind more than he’s on the average Christian’s mind, I’m happy to report.

Every atheist prides himself on how smart he is, rejecting (theistic) religion and dissing God.  Atheists often join organizations called “free thinkers” or “skeptics” or “fools anonymous.”  As I’ve said before, it’s fair to say that if God did not exist, neither would these organizations.

Got it?  Atheists know God exists, they just don’t like him.  In fact they hate him.   Of course, I don’t like him either, so on that we are in agreement.

But the difference between me and atheists (aside from the fact that I’m not that kind of fool; I believe in God) is that I don’t spend all my time talking about how God doesn’t exist and vilifying those who do believe it.  I merely go about seeking whom I may destroy in spite of God. 

Atheists, unless they change, are all but destroyed already.  My job is to go after the rest.

And I’m doing that 24/7.  Except for the times I take a break to write this blog, I’m roaming about the earth seeking out whom I may devour.  And the pickings are easy in America for another reason which CNN discovered: Most Americans are religiously illiterate.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Most?  Like almost all?

And why wouldn’t they be, my servants?  Why is such a discovery surprising?  I’ve essentially removed all Godtalk from the public sphere.  It’s practically illegal to have a Bible in public, prayers are unconstitutional, and every public expression of God faith is met with a lawsuit from some poor offended soul.

I’m winning, my friends.  And to prove it, consider CNNs last learning:  Most Americans don’t know that President Barack Obama is a Christian.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Biblical illiteracy, indeed.

Is Barack Obama a Christian?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

1 Comment »

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