Satan's Blog

I love Halloween.

Celebrated in some form all over my world, it is the one day that comes closest to celebrating my darkness, even if it is in fun.  And it is fun, for me.  Especially in the West, where I find its usefulness to me most pronounced.

One thing I like about Halloween is that it’s unique among Western holidays, particularly in the United States, in generating angst among Christians and those who call themselves Christians.  Each year parents who wish to raise enemies of my kingdom grapple with how to get past October 31st with their children.  And most find no good way to get through Halloween without compromise. 

I love it!  Compromise is the fertilizer of my fruit orchard!

But I love Halloween for a more fundamental reason.  Halloween represents one of my greatest victories in Western culture.  You see, my servants, All Hallows Eve was originally nothing more than the day before a day set aside to commemorate old saints (old saints in the Biblical way, meaning anyone who rejected me and believed in Jesus Christ).  Well, of course, I could have none of that–what kind of thing is that for people to remember? Blecchhh!

I remember when Pope Gregory III dedicated a chapel in St. Peter’s Basilica to “all saints.”  That terrible day, November 1, became All Saints Day, otherwise known on earth as All Hallow’s Day.  We observed it in Hell as a day of mourning, focusing on strategic ways to minimize the number of Saints to be remembered.

Task groups were formed, cultural norms were studied, and in the end we devised a plan that continues to come to fruition throughout the world.  We arranged to have the night before All Hallows Day, i.e., All Hallows Eve, or Hallowe’en, AKA Halloween, become a night to glorify the darkness, evil, and generally everything that pleases me.  Of course, it was all in fun.  Of course (sometimes).

First, to gain legitimacy, we coopted the pagan Celtic celebration of Samhain.  The ancient Celts believed that the border between this world and the “otherworld” became thin on Samhain, allowing spirits (both harmless and harmful) to pass through. The family’s ancestors were honoured and invited home while harmful spirits were warded off.  The need to ward off harmful spirits led to the wearing of costumes and masks to disguise oneself as a harmful spirit and thus avoid harm.

What perfect timing–Samhain celebrating departed spirits of all kinds blending seamlessly with a celebration of Saints.  And, because I’m good at what I do, soon the Saints were forgotten, displaced by the Aints, my coterie of spirits of darkness, and those who liked to dress up as harmful spirits.  But all in fun!  Of course!  Ha ha ha ha ha.

So I was given free rein on earth with earthlings imitating all my principalities, powers, rulers of the darkness of this age, and all my spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places, even if for one night only.  It is enough, for now.

So, my servants, do not fear Halloween.  It is my day.  Dress up.  Have fun.  Celebrate the darkness with all your might. 

And those who are not my servants outwardly?  You please me nonetheless by participating in Halloween.  This is one night when it is perfectly OK to imitate evil, one night when it’s acceptable to put aside the armor of light and put on the deeds of darkness.  Dress up your children as witches, ghosts, and goblins of every sort.  Maybe even dress up as ME!  Ha ha ha ha ha.  It’s only fun!

It’s just one night.  And it’s just for fun!

Ha ha ha ha ha.