Archive for the marriage Category

Our Father Who Art in Washington

Posted in False religion, Government, marriage, worldview with tags , on June 18, 2012 by devilbloggger

Fathers.

Did you know, my servants, that I hate fathers? That’s why I laid low this past week and last weekend when millions of people all over the globe celebrated Father’s Day (blechhhhh!).  You see, God is a father.  And he instituted the family to be led by fathers for the benefit of children, society, and the world.

So, what did I do?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, I do everything I can to pervert fathers and fatherhood into an unrecognizable mess of pop culture sissification, media-driven manhoodperversion, and feminist agenda boystealingschooling, and other misdeeds.  Of course, along the way I (yes, moi) became a father.

Do you know what I’m the father of?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And today, my friends, I have almost eliminated effective fatherhood.   I’ve demoralized, de-emphasized, de-energized, and generally de-everythingized men.

Culturally it’s a woman’s world in the enlightened western cultures who have turned away from the father of light to the father of ____________ (look it up).

Consider pop culture.  When is the last time you saw a movie, or a popular TV show, in which there was a strong, loving, mature male figure in the role of a father?

Hmmmm?

Those days are gone, my friend.  Today fathers, if present at all, are portrayed as bumbling boobs or halfwit hacks.

That’s why, my servants, I was pleasantly surprised to find this weekend that the United States Government actually has a website devoted to fathers.

Yes!  It even has the easy-to-remember URL, www.fatherhood.gov.

Now, I must admit that at first I was alarmed.  But then I read more at the CNSNews.com article that the website is full of inane advice, such as how best to wash kids’ hands, and other vital tasks of fatherhood.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And US taxpayers pay for this!

But here’s what I like best, my friends.  The US taxpayer-funded website goes to great lengths to teach “fathers” that they are responsible for providing “a variety of healthy foods,” and to wash hands (complete with a video for the extra slow).  In case a “father” is completely clueless, the website teaches fathers hand washing instructions: “Wet hands under running water, add soap, and rub all parts of hands and fingers for 15 seconds.”

Now, aside from the delight I receive by realizing that I’ve duped American taxpayers into paying to post hand washing instructions, I get great pleasure out of the focus of this government attempt at good fatherhood.

After all, my friends.  As you know, man does not live by bread alone.  There is a Bread of Life, which, if ingested gives eternal life.  No word of that at www.fatherhood.com, fortunately.  And, there is a washing of the water of the Word, which cleanses the soul.  No word of that at www.fatherhood.com, fortunately.

You see, my friends, there is benefit in keeping the outside of one’s body clean, and the inside well fed on physical food.  But the greater benefit comes from cleansing of the soul through daily interaction with the Word of God (blechhhh!) which feeds and cleans for an eternal benefit.

But do you think that any US government bureaucrats have a clue as to eternal values?  And do you think any of those clueless have any additional clue that fathers are the key to a healthy total child?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Even asking the question is silly, I know.

But I had to ask.

So now you know.

10 Comments »

Picture This: My Rights Over Yours

Posted in christians, homosexuality, liberty, marriage, same sex marraige, toleration on June 10, 2012 by The Temptress

Pictures.

Mmmmmmm…. I absolutely adore pictures, my dear ones.

Well, most of them.

So many of my friends and servants to my Master are seduced by single photographs, even addicted to them, to the point where some of them act out in our favor in real life… just because of a picture or two.  It’s so easy!

I have the pleasure of using many photographers for my work.  I want to let you in on some of my personal favorites as far as photos go:  anorexic models (aka clothes hangers) to convince young girls that they need to starve themselves to be beautiful, Hollywood stars with fake everything to convince women that they need to have certain perfect measurements to measure up, and child porn, hetero porn, gay porn… I love porn!  (Can you tell?)  Just with the click of a button, so many can experience pleasure…

But there is one photographer I am not happy with today.

In a story found here, this photographer refused to provide her services to a lesbian couple, and is now, thankfully, being sued.  I quote: “According to the court’s verdict, the trouble began for Elane Photography when the company was contacted by lesbian Vanessa Willock asking if they could photograph a ‘commitment ceremony’ for a Willock and her ‘partner.’ The company, owned by Christian couple Elaine and Jonathan Huguenin, responded stating that they only shoot traditional weddings, and do not do ‘same-sex weddings,’ but thanked Willock for her interest.”

Excuse me… where does this Christian (bleeecccchhhh!) get off trying to exert her First Amendment rights to photograph whom SHE wants to?

I completely support the lesbian couple for their lawsuit to take away the rights of Christians and their businesses to do business according to their beliefs.  I like the fact that they are bullying the Christians.  Good for them!  In fact, I think they should bully other religious persuasions as well.  You go, girls!

I hate the stupid First Amendment.  After all, what matters is that whoever has the loudest mouth, the biggest guns, the most power, and the most money, is the one who gets to rule.

That way, I and my Master get to rule, too.

Hm hm hm hm hm…. ;)

Always yours,

Temptress

5 Comments »

Obama supports gay marriage? Surprise?

Posted in homosexuality, liberals, marriage, Obama, political correctness, same sex marraige with tags , on May 13, 2012 by devilbloggger

Really?

I was amused this week, my friends, at all the feigned surprise when my beelzebud Obama actually came out of his CINO (Christian in name only) closet to support gay marriage.  REALLY?  Really?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s news that Obama supports gay marriage?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, I love the world I’ve created where one’s actions are ignored and their words, as empty or lying as they may be, are taken at two-face value.  In this case, the fact that people actually “wondered” what Obama’s views on same-sex marriage might be proves my great power on earth.

Let me impart some wisdom to you, my readers.  This will come as no surprise to long-time readers of this blog.  (You can search on “Obama” to see all my brilliant analysis of this, my favorite US citizen).  But I’ll tell you a sure-fire (so to speak) way to know everything Obama would do for any given topic.

Ready?

Here it is: for any given topic, subject, decision, statement, etc., simply ask yourself what would Satan do (WWSD)?

Alternatively, you could ask WWJD, and then do the opposite.  In every case, however, you will find that WWOD is exactly the same as WWSD.

In this case, for example, between Jesus and I (moi) which one supports same-sex marriage?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And Obama?

See how easy it is?

Obama, my CINO-in-chief, thrills me with his consistent faithfulness in carrying out my will on earth as it is in Hell.

In fact, I challenge you, my servants, to come up with one decision, policy, action, or other verifiable display of belief that could not easily be inserted as an answer to the question, “WWSD?”

Try it.

It’s like a game.

A game that illustrates an important game that I’m winning.

Because I’m Liberal One.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

80 Comments »

Me and Rush Limbaugh’s big mouth!

Posted in abortion, freedom, Government, marriage, Obama, political correctness, politics, Sexual revolution, Truth with tags , , , on March 6, 2012 by devilbloggger

Fluke.

It’s not a fluke, I suppose, my friends.  And it’s not your fault.  I leaked some kingdom knowledge in my February 12th post, and I forgot to remind you to keep it confidential.  And one of you must have blabbed.  It looked bad, and I’ve laid low this past week trying to salvage my self-inflicted bad fluck–I mean luck.

My faithful readers will understand.

Just weeks ago I was beaming with pride as the American liberals insisted on putting their hands on (and in) women’s bodies by dictating through their dictator that all forms of birth control must now be dictated as part of the welfare dole for all women.

Imagine my delight in the twisted logic of liberals:  Liberal women love to chant “Keep your hands off my body” when they want the government-sanctioned right to kill the products of conception.  But they chant “Put your hands on my body” when they want the government-sanctioned right to free contraception.

Go figure.

Liberal women see no inconsistency in demanding control of other people’s money because they have no control over their own money, much less their own bodies.

I was ahead of the spin curve on this, my friends, and it almost cost me dearly.

Recall that I previously dealt with the controversy of the Obama administration’s demand that all employers, including those having a Biblically informed religious conscience, pay for all forms of contraception of its employees.

At the time I was revelling in my great success in confounding the Americans with mediaswirlification around “women’s rights” and “religious liberties.”

But what everyone was missing was my main goal in this, which went to the heart of freedom!  Yes, everyone seemed to be missing the fact that a modern dictator was dictating to private entities what they must provide free to others.

The dictator was dictating that other people must, based on His Dictateness alone, pay for the sex needs of all women everywhere, including one Ms. Sandra Fluke, a 30-year-old privileged law student going to one of the most expensive law schools in the country.

In a fit of pride, I gloated a rhetorical question: “Where are the sane Americans?”

Remember?

And then I asked this fateful question:

Where is someone to stand up and tell Ms. Keely and Ms. Sandra to stop begging for someone else’s money and control their own friggin’ bodies or go pay for their own damn birth control?

Well, that’s when my luck turned, and out of nowhere surfaced One Sane American.

My fit of pride became fit to be tied as I listened daily for the next week or so as One Rush Limbaugh, a seemingly singular voice of sanity, picked up on my tactic and drove home the point daily: this issue is bigger than “women” and “religion;” it goes to the heart of FREEDOM.

Blechhhh!

Did someone leak my kingdom strategy to Mr. Limbaugh?

Of course someone did.

But what was I to do?  Mr. Limbaugh has an audience of millions, an engaging (sometimes enraging) style, and a way of putting the complex into simple terms that anyone but liberals can understand.

He is Conservative One, and he nailed this one: on what basis should taxpayers or insurers (i.e., other people) be required to pay for women’s recreational (and apparently uncontrollable) sex needs?

I recall one of Mr. Limbaugh’s more lucid analogies.  He imagined a neighbor knocking at his door and telling him that she didn’t have any money for birth control.  And then, after getting a “so what?” look from him, he imagined her telling him that she wanted him to pay for her birth control.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But that is exactly what Ms. Fluke is doing.

Exactly.

Ms. Fluke is knocking on every American’s door and demanding that they pay her so she can go get contraception to have all the sex she wants with guys who are apparently getting all the free sex they want.

And I was truly worried that Mr. Limbaugh’s golden microphone might blow my stratetacticification.

And then. . .

Oh, am I one lucky devil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Limbaugh, in trying to illustrate absurdity said what many were thinking–paying for Ms. Fluke’s lack of self-control and sex life?  What does that make her??

What do you call women who have no self-control in the area of sex, and take other people’s money for it?

But, of course, the days when loose women were shamed are long gone.

Now, Ms. Fluke’s parents are supposed to be proud of her.

Hey, I know I am.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And Mr. Limbaugh?

Well, he flew a little too close to the flame.

Conservative One, meet Liberal One.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(Oh, but he’ll be back.)

Blechhhh!

12 Comments »

Polygamy: It’s very big o’ me.

Posted in homosexuality, marriage, polygamy with tags on July 25, 2011 by devilbloggger

UPDATE:  The first paragraph of this post has been updated from the original to correct a misleading idea.  Hey, almost no one’s perfect!!
 
Quote of the Day:  Like magic, my servants, I’m making another of God’s precious gifts to humanity disappear: marriage. – Marriage is for old people

Polygamy.

Did you ever wonder, my servants, who made the rule that men can have only one wife and who wants to change that rule?  Here’s a hint to answer who wants it changed: the question rarely arises in the alternative — whether a woman can have more than one husband. 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, but seriously, if men and women are mere accidents of nature, who cares if one accident prefers to be married to two or more other accidents?  In other words, when it comes to whether polygamy is wrong, the real question is who sez?

Yeah, who sez??

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Every deviant and perverted societal ill begins with someone asking, who sez?

Here’s a kingdom truth, my friends: when morality is based on no recognized authority higher than man, you get man’s moral authority, which is to say morality for the moment mandated by man-decree. 

I sez, sez some strong man, and if the strong man who sez it is stronger than you, then your behavior is forced by his morality.  Which, happily, ultimately mirrors my morality.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Don’t believe me?  Look at how I got boyboysex and girlgirlsex accepted in the world, and especially in the United States. 

Is boyboysex wrong? 

Who sez?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And what about polygamy?  What is to stop polygamy from becoming legally protected the world over?

As one astute commenter to my earlier teaser post indicated, the question is largely relevant only to the West, and particularly to the United States.  Consider: according to BigThink.com, polygyny, which is virtually the only form of polygamy practiced in the world, is actually widely practiced.

Though reviled in the West, polygyny is actually quite common throughout the world. According to the Ethnographic Atlas, studying over a thousand societies from 1962-1980, there were over 1,000 polygamous societies, compared to just 186 monogamous ones.

Those are good numbers, no?  And the practice is even alive and well in the US.  According to a study quoted by BigThink.com:

Polygamy is alive and well in parts of America. According to researchers at Brigham Young University, there are 30,000 to 50,000 people currently living a polygamist lifestyle in the United States, many of them in sects that splintered from the mainstream Mormon church when it renounced polygamy in 1890. A separate study reported on NPR estimates that 50,000 to 100,000 Muslims in America may be quietly living polygamist lives.

My friends, let me be clear: I love polygamy.  You may find that belittling to your righteous notions of marriage, but I find it big o’ me.  (Ha ha ha ha ha, I wish I made that up, but I didn’t).

So you can imagine my amusement, my friends, when someone brought me an article from today’s Daily Caller,  entitled, ” Why the polygamist rights movement will never succeed.”

What?  A mere mortal question my ability to force my will on earth as it is in Hell?

Yes, and this mortal, a chap named Peter Tucci, beautifully illustrates exactly how I achieve my will on earth: by underestimating the power of  a small group of persistent sinners to eventually impose their sin on all of society.

Mr. Tucci first correctly salutes my great success in forcing legal boyboysex and girlgirlsex on a gagging society, by noting that:

It’s hard to say that gay marriage should be legal but polygamy shouldn’t. After all, if the government has no business telling people who they can or cannot marry, why can it tell people how many people they can marry?

Yes, what role does government play in stopping the foistmentation of legalized sin on a hapless society?
 
Mr. Tucci further notes:
On Wednesday, George Washington University law professor Jonathan Turley made a civil libertarian case for legalizing the practice in a New York Times op-ed. And Canada, which legalized gay marriage in 2005, may be on the verge of becoming the first Western country to legalize polygamy.

In other words, when it comes to polygamy in the West, I have almost achieved my will on a part of earth as it is in Hell.  My goal, of course, is to achieve the festering sore of sexual deviancy on all of earth, especially in the United States.

Which is why I just loved Mr. Tucci’s soothing salve:

But social conservatives shouldn’t fret, because polygamy won’t be legal in America anytime soon.

Why not fret? you ask. 

I’m glad you asked, because it allows me to illustrate the kind of thinking that greases the intellectual skids for sliding my lovely will into society.

Here is Mr. Tucci’s first slippery reason:

One problem for polygamy supporters is the fact that there are only, at most, a few hundred thousand polygamists in the United States. The small size of the polygamist population means that polygamists can’t sway elections by themselves — they lack the money and votes.

It need not be about elections, Mr. Tucci.  In the United States, all selfish old men need do is convince five Supreme Court justices that they have a constitutional right to multiple subjugants.

And if the Court is in the mood, make no mistake about it, the Court will do the same thing it did with abortion and gay marriage: discover the brilliance of the Founding Fathers’ ability to enshrine a multitude of human sins as human “rights” in secret code language only they (the Court) can rightly discern. 

Second, Mr. Tucci applies some grease to my sin-skids by showing he’s never heard of the boiling frog trick:

To succeed, the polygamist rights movement would have to rely on the sympathy of non-polygamists. But that sympathy doesn’t exist. According to a May 2011 Gallup poll, just 11% of Americans consider polygamy to be morally acceptable.

Sympathy?  What sympathy was there for legally protected boyboysex 20 years ago, Mr. Tucci?  Or 10 years ago?  Or 5 years ago? 

Hey, the frog is still smiling!

And here’s Mr. Tucci’s last oily reason for keeping the frog smilingly swimming in its own soup:

Another major barrier to a polygamist rights movement is the lack of a natural constituency for it. Conservatives oppose polygamy for traditional reasons. Liberals oppose polygamy because they think that polygamist relationships subjugate women.

Really, Mr. Tucci?  You think liberals care about subjugating women? 

Really?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Remember, my friends, I am Liberal One.  Trust me on this one.

Here’s my little secret: liberals like to think they are against subjugating anyone, when in fact the very policies liberals support lead to subjugation of every class for which they deem themselves protectors.

The poor?  Liberals subjugate the poor to the oppression of dependency-induced freeloading.

Minorities?  Liberals subjugate minorities to the shame of affirmative racism and sexism, depriving individuals of the satisfaction of earned success.

And, of course, women?  Liberals subjugate women by supporting abortion rights which ultimately serve merely to render sex consequence-free for lusting men.

So, my friends, you see how I impose my will on earth as it is in Hell.

Very soon the monogamy frog will be happily dead.

And then little screwed-up Johnny will have two legally protected ways to have two mommies!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

15 Comments »

Moral awakening? Or malleable Jesus?

Posted in Bible, christians, False religion, homosexuality, marriage, political correctness, religion, same sex marraige with tags , , , on May 11, 2011 by devilbloggger

Malleable.

Oh, how I love [a malleable] Jesus
Oh, how I love [a malleable] Jesus
Oh, how I love [a malleable] Jesus
Because he first loved me [and affirms me in my chosen lifestyle because he loves everyone regardless of their selfish love of their abominable unrepented sin].

Do you know that song?  I put in brackets the words Jesus hears when most American Christians sing this old-time favorite.  Don’t believe me?  I have two confirmatory articles today, my servants. 

The first comes from CNNs Belief Blog, in which author Stephen Prothero makes a very astute observation about American Christianity.  In a piece entitled, My Take: Poll on bin Laden’s death reveals a disposable Jesus, Prothero comments on his observations of the various responses of Christians and those who call themselves Christians in the aftermath of Osama bin Laden’s homecoming.  Most insightfully, Prothero concludes:

One thing that struck me hard while researching my 2003 “American Jesus” book was how malleable Jesus is in the American imagination. Instead of lording over American life, telling us what to do, he seems to be taking orders from us, carrying our water.

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

How true!

Or, as he put it back then:

The American Jesus is more a pawn than a king, pushed around in a complex game of cultural (and countercultural) chess, sacrificed here for this cause and there for another.

Do you not agree?  Let me give you an example of Prothero’s insight in action.  Virginia’s Episcopalians will have to move a little further to God’s left, because the Presbyterian Church (USA) just voted their way to a moral awakening to allow openly gay and lesbian people to become ordained ministers.

I know, my servants.  I know.

I am good.  But this is not about me, per se, it’s about those who believe my lies, and I have many true believers, even in the Presbyterian Church (USA).  You can read all about it in the Huffington Post in a piece by The Rev. Dr. Janet Edwards (Presbyterian minister).  My good servant Edwards reports Christianity’s turn to morality with some glee in a piece entitled, ”The Moral Awakening of Mainstream Christianity.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

The Presbyterian Church (USA), Mainstream Christianity?

From my view, it is neither.

But anyway, my servants, Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) has much to say that pleases me, and shows the truth of Mr. Prothero’s hypothesis of a truly malleable Jesus.

Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) reports even before all the votes came in the following:

With over half of the presbyteries now voting “yes,” our church has taken a bold step towards inclusion that brings the third largest Mainline Christian denomination more in line with the teachings of Jesus Christ; that His love embraces all.

Do you see Jesus all malleabled up in her mushy humanness?  The reason ordaining gays and lesbians is “in line” with the teachings of Jesus Christ is because “His love embraces all.”

Hey, Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister), why, then do you not ordain open pedophiles, open ax murderers, open wife beaters, open drug addicts, open blasphemers, sinners openly flaunting what Jesus condemns – oops, sorry, you already ordain that last one.

Why not?

No, really, why not?  If Jesus’ “love embraces them all” why not ordain anyone and everyone?

Why not ordain me?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Do you see my lie in action, my servants?  Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) has a very malleable Jesus, a Jesus who “is more a pawn than a king, pushed around in a complex game of cultural chess.” 

Squishing Jesus into an almost unrecognizable shape, Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) provides this end that justifies her squishing means:

With 76% of Americans identifying themselves as Christian, it’s critically important that progressives of faith give witness and show how Scripture supports the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people into our churches, communities, and civil institutions.

Here we see a major flaw in her justificationization.  Let me impart some kingdom truth for you, my servants.  Please keep these truths confidential; this is kingdom knowledge for your eyes only.  Here it is:  

First, Christians are not those who “identify themselves” as Christians.  Christians are those whom God has worked an inward work of faith resulting in a heart-changed desire to please Him by obeying His word.

Second, trust me on this one, my servants, “progressives of faith” are rarely, if ever, Christians.  Yes, they “identify themselves” as Christians, but that’s because their “Christ” is a squished up version of the true Christ.

Third, to say that “Scripture supports the full inclusion of lesbian, gay . . . into our churches” is only meaningful if Ms. Edwards (Presbyterian minister) is willing to keep the list going with “open pedophiles, open ax murders, and the like.  Scripture says the same thing about pedophiles as it does about lesbians. 

Of course, let’s hope that never happens because that might cause a true moral awakening!

8 Comments »

Obama: No more defense, but plenty of offense

Posted in marriage, Obama, same sex marraige with tags , , on February 24, 2011 by devilbloggger

Marriage.

My servants, I must bask in a little victory today.  I read in Worldmag.com today in an article entitled “No more defense,” that President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder declared the United States’ Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional.  My servants, my kingdom hardly gets any better than this.

Obama, who I’ve said before is the gift that keeps on taking, continues to do my bidding on virtually every front.  Think about it:

  • He lied when he said previously, with regards to DOMA, “We have a duty to uphold existing law.” 
  • He cheated when a reporter asked whether the administration would quit defending DOMA in court and his then-White House spokesman Robert Gibbs respond, “We can’t declare the law unconstitutional.” 
  • And he stole when, yesterday, he deemed the act, which Congress passed in 1996 under President Clinton, unconstitutional.

Lying.  Cheating. Stealing.  Like a marionette, my servants.  Sometimes my arms get tired.

Many of you think I take too much credit but you are wrong.  Who else could get someone to say with their mouth they are a Christian and act out their life in almost perfect harmony with my will? 

Who?

Do not doubt me, my servants.  I have found a vessel of dishonor in President Obama, and I have nurtured a populace that yawns when he “deems” a God-honoring federal law unconstitutional.  Obama may put up no more defense of marriage, but he puts up plenty of offense to God.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

DOMA, you see,  defines marriage as between a man and a woman and bars federal benefits to same-sex couples.  To show just how much in blind bondage I have the Americans, consider the following little quiz.

Based on your own gut, without over analyzing, answer the following eight questions YES or NO:

  1. Is God for marriage being defined in its traditional form, i.e., as between a man and a woman?
  2. Am I against marriage being defined in its traditional form?
  3. Did God ordain marriage between a man and a woman as sacred?
  4. Do I seek to ignore or destroy the sacredness of marriage as between a man and a woman?
  5. Did God design the first marriage as between a man and a woman?
  6. Do I try to foil the design of marriage by designing and introducing unnatural forms as natural and legally protected?
  7. Does God stand for what is right and proper, regardless of popularity?
  8. Do I stand for what is expedient, regardless of long term harm to individuals and society?

If you answered truthfully you would have answered YES to every question above, because YES is the self-evidently right answer to each.

Now, to prove my point about Obama, for every even-numbered question substitute “Obama” for “I” (along with “Is” and “Does”, etc.) and see if the answers change.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

See?

Hey, let Obama say he’s a Christian all he wants.  If he’s a Christian, I’m a Christian.  We can all be Christians!

Do you, Satan, take this man Obama, as your lawfully wedded man servant, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do you meet?

I do.

1 Comment »

Marriage is for old people

Posted in marriage, political correctness, Sexual revolution, Uncategorized with tags , on January 31, 2011 by devilbloggger

Ta da!

Like magic, my servants, I’m making another of God’s precious gifts to humanity disappear: marriage.  It’s been hard work, but I’m rewarded every day by casual unwed sex on television and off, glamorization of sex with multiple partners of either gender, and, as detailed in the article refered to below, hero status of unwed mothers. 

Marriage smarriage, I say.  And apparently a growing number of others say so as well!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But it’s not really magic, my friends.  It took years, even decades, of persistent work on my part to get society to the point where not only are traditional notions of marriage passé, but perverted notions are protected from criticism and admired as progressive.

First I attacked God’s first and foremost creation–creation itself.  I’ve fairly well convinced smart people everywhere that the life created itself accidentally; and I’m working hard on the dumber people who don’t believe nonsense so readily.

And after I convinced people that God played no role in creation, it was relatively easy work chipping away at the rest of God’s purposeful handiwork, including his masterpiece of love, his model of Godly relationship, and his crowning achievement in Earth’s first week: the holy joining of a man and a woman in a lifelong sacred committment of mutual love and respect.

That’s why I was thrilled today, my servants, to read in the City Journal (the U.S.’s premier urban-policy magazine!) a delightful assessment of modern marriage entitled, “Nobody Gets Married Any More, Mister,” by Gerry Garibaldi.  Mr. Garibaldi beautifully describes the state of my affairs among high school students.  According to Garibaldi:

“Within my lifetime, single parenthood has been transformed from shame to saintliness. In our society, perversely, we celebrate the unwed mother as a heroic figure, like a fireman or a police officer.”

Yes, God’s shame is my saintliness, my servants.  Babies having babies is almost cliché.  And the beat goes on.

I urge you to read Garibaldi’s complete article, my servants.  It is superb in its bittersweet assessment of my will on earth as it is in Hell.

I have succeeded in engineering social policy that encourages unwed mothers, teen pregnancy, and deadbeat dads.  I do this through a combination of fostering cultural rejection of all things remotely Judeo-Christian, including marriage, and acceptance of all things otherwise sexually inclined.

No longer do government policies tend toward strengthening marriages.  No longer to social policies work toward discouraging premarital sex.  No longer to legal frameworks foster monogamy and faithfulness.

I have public schools teaching all the little chillins that sex with anyone anytime is normal, with “safe” being the only reluctantly stressed modifier of behavior.  I have parents that have little or no moral compass to help their own teenagers resist the onslaught of sexual imagery found in every popular teen magazine.  On top of that I have the Home Sex Network (which runs on virtually every television channel featuring prime time, prime demographic programming) streaming 24/7 into homes, eyes, and ears. 

And on top of even that, every little chillen under government supervision is guaranteed to never hear an alternative based on their being a special creation of a God who created them for a very different, but healthy and fulfilling sexual lifestyle.

Do you see, my servants, how I have turned society on itself?

Children cannot be given an aspirin by school officials, but these same officials can facilitate an abortion without parental notification.  Children are taught safe sex as schools fret over rising teen pregnancies, but no one–not parents, not teachers, not administrators–can even hint at abstinence without being ridiculed.  Young adults are taught that marriage is an outdated social norm and unnecessary.  Selfish guys leverage this notion to trick naïve girls into believing they both gain the benefits of marriage without committment, almost always to her, and her baby’s, detriment.

You see!  I’m good.  I’m really good.  And no one on earth seems to be able to stop me.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

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Yes, Virginia, there is a God, and it is now you

Posted in homosexuality, marriage, political correctness, same sex marraige, Sexual revolution with tags , , , , , on January 26, 2011 by devilbloggger

Virginia is for Episcopalian lovers, we like to say.

Those Episcopalians continue to delight me, my servants.  Even though I’ve neutered huge swaths of the Episcopalian church to the point where it moves God’s kingdom needle not a whit, those joy boys (and girls) can still ring my love bells. 

Once a real threat to my kingdom, the Episcopalians lately have become nothing more than a religious side show, making no dents in my kingdom and few gains in God’s. 

What really put Episcopalians on my kingdom map was their decision in 2004 to ordain an openly gay bishop, Eugene Robinson.   I like Gene, but that was childs play; virtually all my liberal religious followers do that these days.  But according to this piece in the Washington Post, this past weekend the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia flew under the media radar and quietly placed a big, wet smooch right on my slobbering lips by voting to allow church-sanctioned same-sex unions.

Vote.  Smooch.  Virginia is for my lovers.

I might make Virginia my second home!  After all, any place that votes on whether a matter is sinful or not will always eventually be home to me.

First on the ballot was a vote on whether the church should sanction sex with animals.  Strangely, that was voted down because there was not 51% in favor.

Next they voted on whether to allow bishops to have child sex slaves.  For some reason that was voted down; close, but still not 51% in favor.

Finally, they voted on whether to allow church-sanctioned same-sex unions.  Bingo!  That one passed, being okey-dokie with at least 51% of the voters.

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Make no mistake, my friends, when sex with animals becomes socially acceptable and culturally demanded, the Episcopalians will be in the front of the line to ordain an openly zoosexual priest.  Why not?

No, really, why not?

You see, I love people wise in their own eyes, “voting” on whether something is sinful or not.  Morality by consensus will always be my morality; if not now, eventually.

My servants, let me use my Virginia Episcopalian servants to share a kingdom secret with you.  Without an anchor in God’s word, human beings will always gravitate toward my morality.  Whenever human beings stop taking God’s word seriously and begin to adapt church doctrine based on cultural norms, the church will die. 

The Episcopalian church is practically dead as an institution; they just don’t know it.  Look at it this way: if the Episcopalian church ceased to exist immediately at midnight tonight, would anyone care?  Would anyone even notice? 

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Rest assured, my servants, we rarely see one of our captives set free by the gospel of grace through the liberal Episcopal churches anywhere in the world.  They are literally preaching to the choir, and even the choir doesn’t really give a damn about God.

I’m just sayin’.  My trees are known by my fruit.

That’s why one of my prime objectives on earth is to ensure that people disregard God and his word; such disregard always bears fruit for my kingdom.  I don’t care if people say they believe in God as long as they don’t take God seriously.  Because people who don’t take God seriously inevitably and involuntarily end up taking me seriously.

There are only two choices.

Mostly I like witnessing the sad resignation on God’s face when, once again, his putative friends push him away as a culturally irrelevant embarrassment, saying with their actions that his holy word holds no persuasion over their personal desires.  I love the haughtiness of one who dares to sneer that a changing culture trumps God’s unchanging word in determining behavior in all things moral.

I know that God intended marriage to be a holy blending of man and woman in a mysterious union reflecting the relationship in the Godhead, as well as being a picture of the church as Christ’s bride.  Man for woman and woman for man, what God brings together let no man tear apart.

But what about unions God does not bring together?

Don’t worry I have my peeps to bring those together; God has no say in the matter.

At least no say that 51% can’t shut their ears to!

Smooch!

3 Comments »

Satan’s New Year’s Resolutions

Posted in homosexuality, marriage, political correctness, religion, same sex marraige, toleration with tags on January 2, 2011 by devilbloggger

2011. It’s here, and I’m ready.

Did you know, my servants, that already today, the first day of 2011, thousands of lost souls have piled in through my main gates for permanent abode here in Hell?  Many were surprised, claiming they were “good” during their life. 

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Good gets you here.  God gets you there.

Who knew?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But even as we line ‘em up down here, I must not ever let up. My work never ends; I must oppose God at every opportunity, and cause as many people as possible to ignore his love.  So here are 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2011:

First, of course, is to kill, steal and destroy at every opportunity.  This is a standing resolution, as it is my main task on earth.  I must do so by deception and trickery, causing men and women on earth to believe my way is better than the way of life, and life more abundantly.  This is easy, because it seems men wish to be deceived, believing lies from my servants, including those who are recognized by men as “religious.”  Men love to have their ears tickled, and I am Tickler One.  Most of my resolutions below flow from this overarching task of mine.

Redouble my efforts at blinding the minds of unbelievers.  Unbelievers are my captives. As long as they are blinded to the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, I am able to keep them captive.  These captives often live lives of exceptional piousness.  Many are upstanding citizens.  But all are blind to the gospel, and in 2011 I intend to keep them that way.  This year I will utilize web-based technologies to reach more people with confusing messages about “religion” and “spirituality.”  I will use social media to make messages of “universal salvation” go viral.  I will provide platforms to “clergy” to preach a different gospel, a gospel in which all paths lead to God, and all we need is tolerance and understanding.  Yes, I must make that one a priority, as it seems to get real traction these days.

I will continue to advance the philosophy that there are many paths to God.  Your way is OK, my way is OK.  All religions basically are the same.  All religions teach the same basic principles and differ only in non-essential details.  Of course, I do this through clever deception because I know that I am the author of all religions except for one, and that one must be lost in a smokescreen of “many paths to God” nonsense.  I’m already fairly well down this road, but I will continue to drive this philosophy in 2011.

I will bring comfort in the form of the decietfulness of riches into the lives of so-called Christians.  That usually shuts them up and neutralizes any kingdom-destroying activity against me.  My strategy has worked beautifully in most Western countries.

I will continue to spread pornography on the internet this year.  Pornography steals intended affection, and I now have roughly half the male population of developed countries taking a peeky-poo at sexual lasciviousness on the internet at least once a week.  And a great many of those men are addicted to porn.  And a great many of those men claim to be Christians.  I see them at night, in their private rooms, clicking away.  And it is not only me that sees them.   And of course, that does not even count the pornography I’ve succeeded in getting on television.  I laugh, I mean laugh, when I look around at all the eyes, including little eyes, glued to television screens showing nudity, casual sex, sexual innuendo, and all manner of bedroom scenes.  Have these people lost their minds, I think.  Then I remember: no, they haven’t lost them, I’ve taken them captive.

Related to pornography, both on TV and online, I will also try this year to beat my record of broken marriages.  Divorce, of course, is cause for celebration, but I consider a marriage broken when husbands no longer cherish their wives, and wives no longer respect their husbands.  And you know what?  I’ve succeeded in breaking almost all marriages in developed, Western, nations.  Men bathed in a culture of easy sex and sexual license resent the restrictions place on them by marriage, imagining (falsely, but who cares?) a better world with a better wife.  Wives, buying into the modern feminist dogma fail to realize the protection of authority in their husband, and find themselves bitter at playing second fiddle.   Speaking of fiddles, I play the resentment and bitterness off each other, stopping communication and bringing many marriages to a standoff of wills at best, and a life-destroying divorce and separation at best.  Yes, I will try to make 2011 a banner year for marriage destroying by making sure that each husband and wives think themselves the only couple having issues (other couples seem happy!), and by ensuring that no marriage-saving materials reach them.

This is the year to drive home certain items of mine on the politically correct agenda.  Political correctness with respect to perverse behaviors destroys of God’s harmony on earth.  Homosexuality leads my list, as it is just over the crest of the hill of my slippery slope into all things degrading.  This year I will capitalize on publicizing any criticism of homosexuality as a ”hate crime” while also using television and movies to glamorize and normalize boyboys and girlgirls.  And, of course, I will continue to get religious leaders to come out for homosexuality as not only normal, but God-honoring.  That should not only serve my purposes in proliferating sin and suffering on earth, but it also pokes a stick right in God’s eye.  I know, because I see the tears.

I will continue to make Christianity a non-favored religion.  In most of the world I do this through ridicule, marginalizing all Christians and their ideas.  In the United States I use the Constitution’s “wall of separation” to ensure that anything that smells of Christianity is disfavored.  Islam, of course, is untouchable in all the West.  This trend must continue.

Finally, I will continue to work on behalf of my kingdom, causing people to disbelieve in God (even though it also means they don’t believe in me), with their disbelief being shown through actions, not words.  I love it when words say “I believe” but actions say “I don’t believe.”  I always get to welcome those people into Hell.  Maybe I will see some of them in 2011.  Who knows?

My servants, these are my 2011 New Year’s Resolutions.  I expect you to help me in my endeavors by practicing my will at ever opportunity.  So, make sure you are a part of all my deception.  You can do this by spreading my lies that there is not just one way to life and life more abundantly, that homosexuality (and any other perversion) is OK with God, that everyone will get to Heaven, that pornography is harmless, that porn on TV is just “the way it is,” and, in general, act like you don’t take God seriously.

Do this, and you will do my will on earth.

Happy 2011!

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Things Fall Apart: How American Voters Gave Up on Democrats (for now)

Posted in abortion, atheists, christians, election, homosexuality, liberals, marriage, Obama, political correctness, politics, same sex marraige, voting with tags , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by devilbloggger

American Democrats have religion too!

Why don’t religious people flock to the Democrat Party in the United States?  This question seems to befuddle American political operatives, to the point where they silly themselves all over the internet.  The latest spill of DemoSillyThink comes from the pages of The New Republic, in a piece by Tiffany Stanley entitled, “Things fall apart, how the Democrats gave up on religious voters.”

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Now, my servants, I did not use the term “Democrat;” that is Stanley’s.  I prefer to look at the world through more general categories of (1) those who take God and his word seriously; and, (2) those who don’t.  In Hell we refer to these as (1) those we hate; and, (2) those we love, respectively.

Of course, it is true, as Tiffany sees but does not understand, that Democrats in the United States almost to a person please me by choosing to populate my Category 2.

And Tiffany’s article is subtitled “How the Democrats gave up on religious voters”?

Ha ha ha ha ha .

Try “How religious voters saw right through godless Democrat religotalk.”

Tiffany details the history of the Democrat’s exercises in ”faith outreach” to reach “religious people.”  Barack Obama, of course, was the “shining hope for the religious left,” one who was not afraid of the “language of faith,” and “a liberal who gave the impression that his religiosity was heartfelt, genuine, and important to his politics.”

News bulletin to all the Tiffany’s of the world.  The “religious left” was, and is, already speaking their “language of faith” loud and clear, it’s just a different faith.  You only confuse people when you try to “give the impression” of genuine religiosity to those I hate in Category 1.

You see, they see you.  They see your words in action, as Rush Limbaugh observes today.  It’s hard to improve on Rush, but I’ll try:  We see you delighting in snubbing Christmas at every chance, and apologizing at every other.  We see you promoting the killing of babies, both born and unborn.  We see you trying to gut the military, marriages, and churches, turning them over to a homosexual political agenda.  We see you openly supporting a mosque at Ground Zero.  We see you trying to get rid of organizations rooted in God, like the Boy Scouts.  We see religious people mocked by your “shining hope” as religious clingers.  And at every turn we see you trying to replace God with government, which is to say, you.

Not true! We believe in God!  We believe in God!

Blah blah blah. 

So do I!

Tiffany even quotes sociologist Rebecca Sager, who with no understanding whatsoever blurts:

“Ninety percent of people believe in some sort of God. It’s mind-boggling why you would cede those voters to the Republican Party.”

Tiffany, Rebecca,  listen:  Category 2 is full of believers in God (mostly the ”some sort” kind).  Stated belief in God is not the basis for my categories, and it’s not the way the American public categorizes. 

And that’s why the American Left will never win with American religious people.  Because in the land of the free and the home of the brave a huge majority still takes God and his word seriously, putting them squarely in Category 1.

I know, my servants, I know.  I am trying to change that as fast as I can.  But having Democrats like Barack Obama go around pretending like they are Christians does not help.  Like using a light to hide darkness, “giving the impression of faith” only highlights the liberal’s true faith.

My advice to liberals: Stop acting like Christians that you are not.  Both your base and your opponents resent such duplicity.  Your best bet, and I have centuries of experience in this area, is to stop the platitudes and cop the attitudes of your true self: a self that desires to make God in its own image, and lord it over others to make them in your likeness.

Remember, I am Liberal One.

Admit it. Live it.

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I’m slowly turning the world incest out.

Posted in homosexuality, incest, marriage, Morality, political correctness, same sex marraige with tags , on December 15, 2010 by devilbloggger

Incest.

Do you like that word?  I do.  But mostly I like the act.  Do you know why?  Because, as one writer said:

“[T]he fundamental problem with incest [and other extra-marital sexual sins] is that it strikes at the soundness of the family. And since the family is central to God’s purposes and work on earth, his judgment on this practice is fierce”

And I oppose everything that is central to God’s purposes, and this includes the delightful activity of all the little mommies and son’s smootching and especially daddies doing it with their daughters.  And apparently I’m not alone.

This week incest was in the news twice, which provides a teaching opportunity for you, my servants, on this important kingdom issue.

First, let me express my dismay at the tone of articles reporting the recent discovery that a popular Columbia University professor has had a three-year sexual relationship with his daughter.  My buds at Slate titled their coverage as “Incest is Cancer.”  Even my friends at the Huffington Post used the descriptor SHOCK to lead into a story entitled, “David Epstein Incest Charges: Columbia Professor Charged With Sleeping With Daughter.” 

Do you see the problem, my friends?

Shock?  Why, HuffPo do you insist on describing behavior you consider perverted as shocking?  Who are you to judge? Just because you are a bunch of incestaphobes doesn’t mean you can pass judgment on your fellow servants of my kingdom.

At least Slate started out on the right track, asking the exact right question: ”If homosexuality is OK, why is incest wrong?” 

Yee haw, I thought, finally I have a spokesman on earth expressing my will.  Slate even sent a tingle up my leg by exclaiming the obvious:

Incest may seem icky, but that’s what people said about homosexuality, too. It’s all private conduct.

And then, you know what?  Slate author William Saletan exposes himself as an incestaphobe by slamming incest for stupid reasons that don’t hold up under any honest scrutiny.  Slate falsely states that homosexuality has no negative impact on families, but incest does.  It even ends with this factually challenged, judgmental, hateful, incestaphobic statement:

Homosexuality is an orientation. Incest isn’t. If the law bans gay sex, a lesbian can’t have a sex life. But if you’re hot for your sister, and the law says you can’t sleep with her, you have billions of other options. . . . And don’t tell me you’re just adding a second kind of love to your relationship. That’s like adding a second kind of life to your body. When a second kind of life grows in your body, we call it cancer. That’s what incest is: cancer of the family.

This must end, my servants.  This is a perfect example of the bigoted, judgmental attitudes of some against others of those practicing behavior that I love.  Yes, Slate, homosexuality is a behaviour I love, and it’s still considered icky by most people.  But we have overcome that attitude through activist judicial rulings, public browbeating, forced social acceptance, legal recourse against criticism, speech codes, and generally in-your-face disrespect of all things traditional, all things clean, and best of all, all things Godly.

Why deny your successes to people of a different perversion? 

Fortunately I have some faithful allies on earth.  The tingle returned when I read today’s UK Telegraph, which ran an article entitled “Switzerland considers repealing incest laws.” 

Yee haw for real, I shouted.  Now we’re getting somewhere.

Those Swiss have it right, I thought.  One Swiss MP said that he saw nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex, even if they were related. 

I don’t either.  I don’t even care if they are adults, or consenting, but, hey, let’s start somewhere.

But even the Swiss show they can’t be completely consistent on this issue.  They claim that even if incest is legalized, they will ensure that “children within families will continue to be protected by laws governing abuse and paedophilia.”

To that I ask a simple question: why?

Why, if homosexuality is OK is not paedophilia OK? Or even abuse?

And before you answer, please tell me first: Who are you to judge?

10 Comments »

Marriage and me: a match made in Hell

Posted in marriage, Uncategorized with tags , on November 18, 2010 by devilbloggger

Where there’s a will there’s a way.

Marriage abounds in the news today, my servants.  And I am right in the middle of it, where I like to be.  Why do so few acknowledge me?

No doubt you have all heard that England’s Prince William and Kate Middleton are to be married soon.  I wish them the same thing I wish every married couple: the worst. Ha ha ha ha ha.  You see, I hate marriage, and I do everything I can to destroy it.  And I do a good job, if I do say so myself.

Divorce is my will on earth as it is in Heaven.  I encourage it.  I make it easy.  I love it.

So I had to laugh at today’s AFP headline, “Fortune-tellers warn of rocky road for William and Kate.”  Ha ha ha ha ha.  Now that’s a daring prediction, right?  Who are these “fortune-tellers”?  Did they also foretell that the sun would rise in the morning?  That the tides would go out, and then come back in?  Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Of course, William and Kate will have a rocky road!  Because every marriage experiences a rocky road.  Why do you think the bookstores are filled with books with titles like “Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis,” and DVD sets with titles like ”Learning to Love Your Wife I-II,” and “Learning to Love Your Husband I-III“?  (I guess husbands are harder to love! Ha ha ha ha ha).

Why don’t you see any books entitled, “How to Make Sure You Don’t Love Your Wife Too Much,” or “Careful That You Don’t Love Your Wife More Than Football”?

One of my greatest deceptions is for young married couples to think it is only they who have a rocky road early in marriage.  Everyone else, from all outward appearances, seems to be doing just fine.  The neighbors don’t fight over stupid things like we do, they think.  Our friends are always happy, they think.  Men begin to resent their young wives, and women begin to be bitter against their young husbands.  Some gut it out for many years, but about half eventually throw in the towel and call it quits. 

Till death do us part?  Ha ha ha ha ha. 

You see, my servants, ever since I got Adam to try pinning the blame for that first sin on Eve, I’ve tried to drive wedges of enmity into God’s hedges of intimacy.  For all I knew at the time, Adam and Eve was the only couple there would ever be.  I had never seen a human before, and for all I knew this was the whole of God’s human creation.  My work on earth was almost done, I thought.  If I could only completely divorce Adam from Eve and drive them from one another emotionally, spiritually and physically, I knew it would mightily sadden the heart of God. 

If only I knew then that by separating Adam from Eve I would also have completely stopped the entire race of humans! 

Oh, hindsight is always 20-20.  Little did I know that my job of marriage wrecking would extend down through time and millions and millions of marriages.  But men are still men, and women are still women.  And that original sin has grown into cultural pathologies and societal norms that make my job easier generation by generation.  Any more I need barely lift a finger.  Marriages seem to fall apart all by themselves.

I have successfully engineered a sexualized culture and fostered societal norms that have made a mockery of marriage.  Children grow up watching television portray casual sex as healthy and normal, to be enjoyed like zero-calorie sugared desserts: delicious with no consequences.   Of course such things only exist in the imagination, but it is no wonder that children today grow up with an appetite for an imagined relationship in marriage, if they choose marriage at all. 

And beyond television, modern technology has helped me greatly.  Do you know how many men have a secret email account?  Do you know how many men are addicted to porn?  I do.  Ha ha ha ha ha.

Which brings me to an AP story on the wires today, entitled, “Rev. to NJ church leaders: Thou shalt not Facebook.”  Yes, my servants, this good pastor in New Jersey, United States, is telling his married church leaders to delete Facebook or resign.  Why?  Because, the pastor says, “much of his recent marital counseling has included infidelity stemming from the social-network website.”

Have I been caught?  Is one of my main avenues to sin being closed off?  Because this pastor’s right, my servants.  One of my greatest avenues to victory with those who call themselves Christians is through social networking sites.  If only you could see who I see at night with their computer screens turned just so. 

But don’t worry my servants.  Despite this good pastor’s best efforts, my sin will continue.  You see, sexual sin starts with the heart.  If I have a man’s heart, I will have his hands and feet and lips as well.  If I have a woman’s heart, I will have her mind and body and lips as well.  Technology only makes easier what a man’s heart is inclined to do.  So, yes, by taking away Facebook this pastor may prevent some infidelity, but as long as I have a man’s heart, sin will find a way.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  And where there’s my will, I will have my way.

Good luck, Will!

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