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Obama supports gay marriage? Surprise?

Posted in homosexuality, liberals, marriage, Obama, political correctness, same sex marraige with tags , on May 13, 2012 by devilbloggger

Really?

I was amused this week, my friends, at all the feigned surprise when my beelzebud Obama actually came out of his CINO (Christian in name only) closet to support gay marriage.  REALLY?  Really?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s news that Obama supports gay marriage?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, I love the world I’ve created where one’s actions are ignored and their words, as empty or lying as they may be, are taken at two-face value.  In this case, the fact that people actually “wondered” what Obama’s views on same-sex marriage might be proves my great power on earth.

Let me impart some wisdom to you, my readers.  This will come as no surprise to long-time readers of this blog.  (You can search on “Obama” to see all my brilliant analysis of this, my favorite US citizen).  But I’ll tell you a sure-fire (so to speak) way to know everything Obama would do for any given topic.

Ready?

Here it is: for any given topic, subject, decision, statement, etc., simply ask yourself what would Satan do (WWSD)?

Alternatively, you could ask WWJD, and then do the opposite.  In every case, however, you will find that WWOD is exactly the same as WWSD.

In this case, for example, between Jesus and I (moi) which one supports same-sex marriage?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And Obama?

See how easy it is?

Obama, my CINO-in-chief, thrills me with his consistent faithfulness in carrying out my will on earth as it is in Hell.

In fact, I challenge you, my servants, to come up with one decision, policy, action, or other verifiable display of belief that could not easily be inserted as an answer to the question, “WWSD?”

Try it.

It’s like a game.

A game that illustrates an important game that I’m winning.

Because I’m Liberal One.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

80 Comments »

If I had a daughter, she would look like Julia

Posted in freedom, liberals, liberty, Obama, politics, progressives, secularism, welfare state, worldview with tags , , on May 5, 2012 by devilbloggger

Julia.

By Jove, I think they’ve got it, those Americans.  That is, of course, if America’s own Julius Obama can successfully convince 1 or 2 more percent of the remaining 51% of free Americans of the benefits of Father Government.

Father Government, you ask?

Yes, as in Our Father, who art in Washington . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, the Obama administration is so over the top that I’m concerned that at any time the 51% of holdouts to complete government dominance will finally wake up and shout STOP!

Oh, but they must be dulled to sleep by the complacency freedom breeds.

For those who are wondering what “Julia” has to do with any of this, let me enlighten you.

“The Life of Julia” is, as Rich Lowry states, “the Obama reelection team’s cartoon chronicle of a fictional woman who is dependent on government at every step of her life.”

And a beautiful thing it is.

Thy government come, thy will be done in my life as it is in Washington . . .

With Julia, Obama reveals a vision for a nation of helpless women who depend on a benevolent government for everything, literally from cradle-to-grave.  This woman Julia, incidentally, has no father, husband, or, apparently, any family, except for her fatherless child.

Give me this day my daily bread, as well as my daily birth control and lots of other free stuff . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Dana Loesch, a writer over at Big Government, said it best after chronicling in detail why Julia is straight out of my kingdom dreams:

As a woman, the idea that I can’t accomplish anything in life unless a male in government plans it out for me is offensive. It’s amazing to me how progressives reject the oversight of the Divine and the gift of free will but embrace the oppressive oversight of flawed men who reject free will. Men, too, should be offended at their lack of representation in the life of Julia–the white, faceless female stereotype that the Obama administration sees as the average female voter.

And forgive my self-control as I forgive those who exercise self-control over me . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

How right Ms. Loesch is.

It’s a good thing the 51% are dulled.

And lead us not into the temptation of freedom, but deliver us to evil . . .

If I had a daughter, she would look just like Julia.  Faceless and dependent upon government for everything.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

For mine is the kingdom, the power, and the gory almost forever and ever . .

Amen.

12 Comments »

Obama is NOT a Muslim! You MUST believe me and help me convince others!

Posted in christians, congress, God, Government, islam, multiculturalism, Muslims, Obama, politics, religion, socialism, Truth, worldview with tags , , on March 12, 2012 by devilbloggger

False. Religion.

Listen, my servant friends.  There is a story on the wires that worries me.  It was published today in the LA Times, in an article entitled, “Poll: Obama’s a Muslim to many GOP voters in Alabama, Mississippi.”  Yes, my friends, many people think that Obama is truly a Muslim!  We must stop this nonsense.  This is one time when you must believe me.  (Really!!)

Let me explain.

Keep in mind that this is very confidentialistic–please treat it as such.  Here it is: Obama isn’t anything but a politicoreligisopportunistika.  That is, he has no core beliefs on ultimate issues of truth, but he will say or do anything of a religious nature for political reasons.

Obama is not unusual among politicians in this regard, but the difference between Obama and virtually every other US president is that Obama continues to push MY kingdom to levels even I would never have imagined in America’s old-fashioned Christian days.

Could you have predicted under any other president that a 30-year old woman would shamelessly and publicly go before the United States Congress and ask for free birth control pills?  I’m not sure who makes me the most proud, the hussy or the hustled.  But just imagine the Congress under any other administration listening to such embarrassing, brazen, shameless talk from a proudly loose woman on behalf of an entire Catholic university of openly loose women.

My how I’ve changed things when it’s a compliment to say about women that they have a “reputation.”   And Obama wants his girls to grow up just as proud of their reputation as he wants this woman’s parents to be of their daughter’s.  He said so.

Unbelievable!

And Americans sit back and yawn, or argue over religious rights versus women’s rights.

Pinch me!

We’ve come a long way, baby!

That’s why this talk of Obama being a Muslim must stop.  Because the only reason I’ve successfully pushed America so far toward the abyss that hardly any Americans get embarrassed at hussies hustling them for handouts, is because Obama does not act like a Christian!

Got it?  Regardless of whether Obama is truly a Muslim or not, he clearly, by his actions, is not a Christian.

And that’s all I care about.

I don’t care what people say they are.  Half the people in Hell say they were Christians.  Big deal.  They didn’t act like it.

And Obama, because he has no core values beyond those of a socialistic worldview, will, if pushed, shamelessly act like a Christian.  And if Obama starts acting like a Christian, my kingdom on earth will suffer.

And I don’t like to suffer.

So here’s what I want you to do, my servants.  At every chance you get, battle the rumors that Obama is a Muslim.  Refute those who base their judgments on what he does, and not what he says!  Make up excuses for his associations, his childhood experiences, his clear affinity for Muslim culture and beliefs, his barely veiled antipathy toward Christianity and Christians.

Because if we can’t convince people Obama is not a Muslim simply because he acts like one, then Obama, being the smart tool he is, will start acting like a Christian.

And I hate those who act like Christians.

Period.

Images from The People’s Cube, a must-visit website.  Go there.  Now.

30 Comments »

Me and Rush Limbaugh’s big mouth!

Posted in abortion, freedom, Government, marriage, Obama, political correctness, politics, Sexual revolution, Truth with tags , , , on March 6, 2012 by devilbloggger

Fluke.

It’s not a fluke, I suppose, my friends.  And it’s not your fault.  I leaked some kingdom knowledge in my February 12th post, and I forgot to remind you to keep it confidential.  And one of you must have blabbed.  It looked bad, and I’ve laid low this past week trying to salvage my self-inflicted bad fluck–I mean luck.

My faithful readers will understand.

Just weeks ago I was beaming with pride as the American liberals insisted on putting their hands on (and in) women’s bodies by dictating through their dictator that all forms of birth control must now be dictated as part of the welfare dole for all women.

Imagine my delight in the twisted logic of liberals:  Liberal women love to chant “Keep your hands off my body” when they want the government-sanctioned right to kill the products of conception.  But they chant “Put your hands on my body” when they want the government-sanctioned right to free contraception.

Go figure.

Liberal women see no inconsistency in demanding control of other people’s money because they have no control over their own money, much less their own bodies.

I was ahead of the spin curve on this, my friends, and it almost cost me dearly.

Recall that I previously dealt with the controversy of the Obama administration’s demand that all employers, including those having a Biblically informed religious conscience, pay for all forms of contraception of its employees.

At the time I was revelling in my great success in confounding the Americans with mediaswirlification around “women’s rights” and “religious liberties.”

But what everyone was missing was my main goal in this, which went to the heart of freedom!  Yes, everyone seemed to be missing the fact that a modern dictator was dictating to private entities what they must provide free to others.

The dictator was dictating that other people must, based on His Dictateness alone, pay for the sex needs of all women everywhere, including one Ms. Sandra Fluke, a 30-year-old privileged law student going to one of the most expensive law schools in the country.

In a fit of pride, I gloated a rhetorical question: “Where are the sane Americans?”

Remember?

And then I asked this fateful question:

Where is someone to stand up and tell Ms. Keely and Ms. Sandra to stop begging for someone else’s money and control their own friggin’ bodies or go pay for their own damn birth control?

Well, that’s when my luck turned, and out of nowhere surfaced One Sane American.

My fit of pride became fit to be tied as I listened daily for the next week or so as One Rush Limbaugh, a seemingly singular voice of sanity, picked up on my tactic and drove home the point daily: this issue is bigger than “women” and “religion;” it goes to the heart of FREEDOM.

Blechhhh!

Did someone leak my kingdom strategy to Mr. Limbaugh?

Of course someone did.

But what was I to do?  Mr. Limbaugh has an audience of millions, an engaging (sometimes enraging) style, and a way of putting the complex into simple terms that anyone but liberals can understand.

He is Conservative One, and he nailed this one: on what basis should taxpayers or insurers (i.e., other people) be required to pay for women’s recreational (and apparently uncontrollable) sex needs?

I recall one of Mr. Limbaugh’s more lucid analogies.  He imagined a neighbor knocking at his door and telling him that she didn’t have any money for birth control.  And then, after getting a “so what?” look from him, he imagined her telling him that she wanted him to pay for her birth control.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But that is exactly what Ms. Fluke is doing.

Exactly.

Ms. Fluke is knocking on every American’s door and demanding that they pay her so she can go get contraception to have all the sex she wants with guys who are apparently getting all the free sex they want.

And I was truly worried that Mr. Limbaugh’s golden microphone might blow my stratetacticification.

And then. . .

Oh, am I one lucky devil.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Limbaugh, in trying to illustrate absurdity said what many were thinking–paying for Ms. Fluke’s lack of self-control and sex life?  What does that make her??

What do you call women who have no self-control in the area of sex, and take other people’s money for it?

But, of course, the days when loose women were shamed are long gone.

Now, Ms. Fluke’s parents are supposed to be proud of her.

Hey, I know I am.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And Mr. Limbaugh?

Well, he flew a little too close to the flame.

Conservative One, meet Liberal One.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(Oh, but he’ll be back.)

Blechhhh!

12 Comments »

Santorum out to out me; someone help me out?

Posted in Bible, christians, election, False religion, God, Government, Obama, political correctness, politics, religion, same sex marraige, Truth, worldview with tags , , on February 21, 2012 by devilbloggger

Politics.

Wow oh wow, but how things can get out of hand when I’m having fun!  Just as I’m seeing my kingdom flourish in the United States faster than even I ever imagined, along comes a knuckle-dragging, backwoods, bitter clinger of a wet blanket by the name of Rick Santorum!  Wow oh wow, how things change.

For my non-US readers, please bear with me.  The United States is going through an election year right now, and little do, er … I mean did, the boiling-frog Americans know that this election was, more than any other, a choice between policies that please moi and policies that please God.

I almost had them completely, happily, ignorantly, boiled.

But just as I thought I cold stop chopping the wood of liberal, politically correct, ungodly policies (see my last post where I was contemplating retirement!), here comes this Santorum cat saying things that have never been said by a major politician in America.  Not even in the good Christian days of the U.S. of A. did a politician so explicitly state truth to the American people.

Just today the internet’s most popular news aggregator, The Drudge Report, ran the headline: “Santorum’s Satan Warning.”

What?

Why bring moi into this?

Well, I suppose I was already in this.  But who does Santorum think he is, blowing my cover by pointing out to all the happy frogs the great fire licking the sides of their freedom pot?  According to the Drudge Report, Santorum is quoted as saying, “Satan has his sights on the United States of America!”  And,

“Satan is attacking the great institutions of America, using those great vices of pride, vanity, and sensuality as the root to attack all of the strong plants that has so deeply rooted in the American tradition.”

Wow oh wow.

Of course he’s right on all counts.  Pride, vanity, and sensuality–that just about covers it. But who would have ever thought a politician would bring me into the fray like this?

And the media?  They eat this stuff up.  According to the media Santorum is a nut job.  A religious fanatic.  A dangerous fundamentalist.

Never mind that Obama can claim that Jesus told him his tax structure was just right.  The media yawn when Obama acts like a Christian.

And do you know why?

Hmmmm?

Yes, that’s right!  You are very perceptive!  It’s because everyone in the media knows Obama doesn’t mean it.

I’ve often said that it’s not those who say they believe in God that worry me.  Everyone believes in God, even atheists believe in God; atheists are just arrogant cowards.  Hey, even I believe in God.

But what worries me are people who say they believe in God and act like it.  It’s those who take God seriously and believe his Word to be truth to live by.

Those folks scare me.

And the media.

And some are noticing.  Note the Wall Street Journal article today addressing this issue.  In the article entitled, “Sex, Lies and Rick Santorum“, author William McGurn looks at “the double standard on social issues” in the US.

McGurn provides the example of veiws on marriage:

When Barack Obama was campaigning for president in 2008, he declared that marriage is between a man and a woman. For the most part, his position was treated as a nonissue.

That’s right. But,

Now Rick Santorum is campaigning for president. He too says that marriage is between a man and a woman. What a different reaction he gets.

Right again.  And why?  McGurn explains:

There’s no mystery why. Mr. Santorum is attacked because everyone understands that he means what he says.

He means what he says!  Yes, he says he’s a Christian and acts like it!

And then McGurn dangerously exposes one of my greatest secrets:

President Obama, by contrast, gets a pass because everyone understands—nudge nudge, wink wink—that he’s not telling the truth. The press understands that this is just one of those things a Democratic candidate has to say so he doesn’t rile up the great unwashed.

Wow oh wow!

You see, my friends, the plain fact is that Santorum is a Christian, a God-believer, one who takes God seriously.

And Obama?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, sometimes I crack myself up.

But it’s not a laughing matter, my good servants.  Santorum recently called out Obama’s “radical Islamic” policies and questioned Obama’s biblical world view, for example.  And Santorum is not the only one questioning Obama’s Christianity.   Even Billy Graham’s son, Franklin, is out today saying he

“was not sure if Obama was a true Christian and that he could not definitively say that the president was not a Muslim.”

And even worse, Mr. Graham is smacking the nail of truth in one great swing by further stating with respect to Obama’s self-identification as a Christian:

“He’s come out saying that he’s a Christian,” Mr. Graham said of Mr. Obama in an interview on the MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”  “The question is, what is a Christian?”

Wow oh wow!

What is a Christian?

My friends, let me share how it appears from my vantage point.

Mr. Santorum?  He’s a Christian.

Mr. Obama?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, if there wasn’t a good chance he might be defeated in his bid to continue ruling the United States and my kingdom on earth, it would be funny.

As it is, it’s just terrible.

Wow oh wow!

PS: For those who care, read here what I have to say in answer to “Is Obama a Christian?”  And here I write about “Obama: My Political Christian.  Enjoy!

8 Comments »

Obama: Now I will pay for your sin

Posted in abortion, Bible, Catholic Church, christians, False religion, Government, liberals, liberty, Morality, Obama, politics, progressives, religion, taxes, Truth with tags , , on February 12, 2012 by devilbloggger

Retire.

Oh, I just might be able to retire, my friends.  Yes, retirement really never was on my mind for thousands of years, but this past week’s events in the United States [the last bastion of freedom in the world] has made me re-think my short term plans.  (My long term plans were set long ago, unfortunately.)

You see, my servants, the Obama administration has put my agenda on warp speed in forcing my will on earth as it is in Hell.

But even I had no idea that those Americans would ever reach a place where large numbers would reject a Savior’s payment for past sinful pleasures, and instead demand that a goverment pay for future sinful pleasures.

Payment for sin is exactly what the Obama administration demands in its new policies demanding that all employers, including those having a Biblically informed religious conscience, pay for the sin of its employees.

Imagine: a formerly Christian nation in which God’s remaining people are literally forced to pay for the sins of mine!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s a beautiful thing, my friends.  Can it get any better?

Well, yes, it can.

Let me explain.  I was just beaming this week, my friends, when at the National Prayer Breakfast (the what????) I saw my Self-righteous Servant Obama demand not only that taxes from the righteous should pay for the sin of heathens, but that his policy “as a Christian,” “coincides with Jesus’s teaching that ‘for unto whom much is given, much shall be required.’ ”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Seriously, now, my friends.  Do you know what I do to deceive people?

Yes, you do.  I misquote scripture, use scripture for nefarious purposes, and generally cause mass confusion and deception by picking and choosing among various scripture passages as proof texts.

Do you know how Obama deceives people?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Obama went on to emulate me by misquoting the “Golden Rule” this way, as reported at monney.cnn.com:

“And I believe in God’s command to love thy neighbor as thyself. I know a version of that golden rule is found in every major religion and every set of beliefs.”

My friends, this is not the Golden Rule.

But who knows?

Apparently very few.  And when few know scripture, anyone can use scripture for ungodly purposes.

You see, unlike Obama, my misquoting of scripture was met with a swift and certain “Get thee behind me, Satan.”

But who will stand up to Obama?

No, really, who?

Obama has mangled the Golden Rule in the past, and you can read over at the Ye Have Heard blog here.  Note Obama’s “subtle” but “significant” mangling of the Golden Rule as “treating others as they would treat me.”  (In reality, there was nothing subtle about it; the fact is Obama is scripture-illiterate and didn’t have a clue what he was saying.)  As noted by a reader:

The most succinct statement of the Golden Rule in the Bible is Luke 6:31: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

There is a subtle, but rather significant, difference between saying “[I treat] others the way they would treat me” and “[I treat] others the way I would want them to treat me.”

But no matter; Obama believes that holy scripture is part of his playground for social and political engineering.  And to make matters better, his shameless select-a-scripture has revealed two great advances of my kingdom on earth.

First, I was thrilled by how much of the ensuing noise, smoke, and diatribification was directed at a “woman’s right to health care.”  For example, the always reliable Huffington Post ran a gem entitled “Students at Catholic Colleges Protest Lack of Access to Birth Control.”  The article summarizes an 18-year old student, Keely Monroe’s, life at Fordham University as:

Single, 18-year-old female, likes having control over her own body, looking for affordable birth control.

Yes, this is just an example of the genre of medianoisemachiniszation that framed the argument as “no insurance payment for birth control = robbing women of control,” i.e., taking away women’s control over their bodies.  That is, Ms. Keely believes that the good citizens of the United States should pay for her sinful bodily choices (which she apparently can’t control), and, if they refuse, she accuses them of robbing her of her bodily control.  Another student, Sandra Fluke went as far as to say that women enrolling in Catholic universities merely “expected women to be treated equally, to have their medical needs met.”

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Where are the sane Americans?

Where is someone to stand up and tell Ms. Keely and Ms. Sandra to stop begging for someone else’s money and control their own friggin’ bodies or go pay for their own damn birth control?

But already too many people agree with Ms. Keely and Ms. Sandra (and Mr. Obama) that it is the place of government to offer everything to everyone for free, including payment for sin.

Oh, I smell retirement now.

The second advance in my kingdom’s goals was revealed in a Daily Caller article on this topic, with the enlightening title, Southern  Baptist Convention’s Richard Land: ‘How dumb does [Obama] think we  are?’  Mr. Land’s question came after Obama, showing he really is my servant, offered an “adjustment” to the mandate that righteous people pay for the sins of others by shifting payment obligations from employers to insurance companies.

But the delightful question answers itself.

Obama does believe you are dumb.

And he has good reason.

Because, think about it, my servants, who can stop him?

Really, who can stop him?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Who can stop me?

Retirement, here I come!

22 Comments »

Obama for killing children (born or unborn, as long as it’s a private family matter)

Posted in abortion, Obama with tags , on January 23, 2012 by devilbloggger

Privacy.

Did you know that President Obama supports a father’s right to kill his unborn child?  Did you know that Obama believes the government has no business stopping a father or mother from killing any of their children, born or not?  Yes, he does, at least as long as Mommy and Daddy keep it a private family matter.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I love it!

Obama spouts my will on earth better than most.  He is my servant on earth, and I hope he remains so forever.  But I am concerned that if he keeps spewing my rotgut philosophy of life so explicitly that his chances of remaining US King will be diminished.  He needs to nuance his remarks.

Someone tell him, please.

His latest preaching of my gospel occurred on the 39th anniversary of one of my greatest achievements in the US: the US Supreme Court’s decision in Roe v. Wade.  As reported at cnsnews.com:

President Barack Obama says the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade is the chance to recognize the “fundamental  constitutional right” to abortion and to “continue our efforts to ensure  that our daughters have the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities as  our sons to fulfill their dreams.”

You see?  My bud Obama wants already born boys and girls to have the same “rights, freedoms, and opportunities.”  Thus, if already born Suzy has the right, freedom, and opportunity to kill unborn Sally, already born Johnny has the same right.

Obama says so.

And he said more.

In fact, he channeled my obvious, abject lie that government has no place in regulating private behavior when I, I mean he, said:

“As we mark the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we must  remember that this Supreme Court decision not only protects a woman’s  health and reproductive freedom, but also affirms a broader principle:  that government should not intrude on private family matters.”

Hey, Obama says as long as it’s a private family matter, already born family members can whack any other member, including children, sending them to the grave, or the dust bin, or the toilet.  And government should not intrude on this private family matter.

Why not?

Obama says.

And I say.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

It’s a “broad principle” of America’s constitution, after all.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And mine.

Notice how America’s “broad principles” are looking a lot like mine lately?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

10 Comments »

Most US Catholics Need to Get a Clue

Posted in abortion, Catholic Church, christians, Obama with tags , , , on November 17, 2011 by devilbloggger

Clue.

Do you know what you call a Catholic who does not hold to Catholic teaching?  Well, apparently you still call him or her a “Catholic”.  And because I’ve hoodwinked large swaths of “Catholics” (quotes necessary, sorry) to continue self-identifying as Catholics, the entire institution is headed to destruction.

Not that that’s a bad thing, of course.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Let me illustrate, my servants.  There is hardly a better object lesson in Catholic split personality disorder than the Catholic response to President Barack Obama.  According to Michael Gerson’s opinion in today’s Washington Post, entitled, “Obama turns his back on Catholics,” 54% of Catholics supported Obama’s election!

54%!

More than half of Catholics supported a man who has absolutely no clue about Christianity, including Catholicism.  More than half of Catholics supported a man who wholeheartedly, without apology, with a proven record, supports abortion. (Obama only reluctantly stops short of wholeheartedly supporting infanticide).  More than half of Catholics supported a man who throws his support behind homosexuality, same-sex marriage, and forcing every American to celebrate it with him.

Someone needs to get a clue.

Either Obama needs to get a clue.  Or . . .

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You see, my friends, I am the clue-hider.  With clues lying around like blinking strobe lights of anti-Catholic sentiment, I still duped 54% of Catholics, oops, “Catholics,” into supporting Obama.

Oh, I’m good.

But even better than getting those 54% to support a man who hates their values, I have even convinced God-believing institutions to support a man who continually saddens the heart of God.

As Gerson states, in 2009 I convinced the University of Notre Dame to invite “a champion of abortion rights to deliver the school’s commencement address.”

Clue, anyone?

In his address at the University of Our Lady, Obama made clear that “ladies” on earth would trump God when he lied about “honor[ing] the conscience of those who disagree with abortion.”  Obama spoke of “ensuring that all of our health-care policies are grounded not only in sound science but also in clear ethics, as well as respect for the equality of [already born] women.”

Clue, anyone?

Obama has not turned his back on Catholics; he always had his back to Catholics.  Just as he has always had his back turned to God.

But, as Gerson documents, fortunately for Obama, 54% of clueless Catholics had his back.

Gerson continues:

Now the conscience protections of Catholics are under assault, particularly by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

Why?  I’ll bet you can guess.

Close.  Here’s why: because, as Gerson writes, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), using federal grant money, administers programs that aid victims of human trafficking don’t refer for abortions.  And because they won’t refer for abortions, the HHS last month abruptly ended its funding.

According to Gerson:

It did not matter that an independent review board had rated the bishops’ program more effective than those of its competitors — or that career HHS employees objected to the politicized handling of the grant.

The HHS defended its decision because it was “giving preference to grantees that offer ‘the full range of legally permissible gynecological and obstetric care.’”

Clue, anyone?

The HHS, my servants, like Obama himself, has a short list of nonnegotiables.  And one of them abortion.  No matter what he says in feigned support of a pro-life position, he is lying.  It is clearly apparent to anyone with a clue.

But, because clues are in short supply, instead we get Sebelius at the HHS, of whom Gerson writes:

Sebelius — an outspoken pro-choice Catholic — has a long history of conflict with Catholic authorities.

Does anyone see the clear contradiction here?  Actually, no, which is a sign of my great skill in clue-hiding.  No one recognizes the clear oxymoron in that sentence, like describing someone as a 6-foot tall midget.  It is definitionally impossible.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Gerson concludes:

Sebelius is becoming a political embarrassment at an inconvenient time. It will be significantly harder for Obama to repeat his appeal to Catholic voters while a part of his administration is at war with Catholic leaders and Catholic belief.

Actually, it won’t be hard at all.

Because most Catholics are “Catholics”.

And Obama knows they have his back.

Someone does, after all, have a clue.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

18 Comments »

Obama is Panderific

Posted in Bible, christians, liberals, Obama, political correctness, politics, religion with tags , , on September 25, 2011 by devilbloggger

Pander.

I love to cater to or profit from the weaknesses or vices of others.  Did you know that?  Of course you did.  I look for the weak, the vulnerable, the discouraged.  And when I find them, do you know what I do?  I woo them into a false sense of security in my lies and deceit.  And when I have them wrapped up in a dependent state of false security, I do everything I can to destroy them.

It’s who I am.

My yoke is hard, my burden is heavy.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

So you know, my servants, that I gain great satisfaction when I see an earthly servant emulate my genius, and I saw it today.  Yes, I witnessed a politician in full pander mode.  And not only was this a beautiful example of pandery at it’s best, the panderific panderification was done by no less than His Majesty (that always gets a laugh down here), Barack Obama, US President and Panderer in Chief.

I’m referring to a story that ran in the Washington Times today, my servants.  Joel Gehrke’s commentary in Beltway Confidential entitled, “Obama asks CBC for Biblical faith in his agenda,” chronicles Obama’s latest attempt at pulling off one of the oldest tricks in the book (after all, it is my trick, and I am by definition one of the oldest tricksters around): pandering.

But Obama, believing he can excel where others merely imitate, pandered awkwardly by appealing to the religious faith of black voters.  You see, whenever an unbeliever (in God) tries to act like a believer (in God) the dissimulation always makes the actor look a bit silly and disingenuous, like a student who failed to read an assignment attempting to answer a teacher’s question.  What must seem like a great performance to the student appears pathetic to everyone else.

According to Gehrke’s commentary,

President Obama made an appeal to the religious faith of black voters at a Congressional Black Caucus rally, likening Biblical prophets who had faith in God — and so refused to worship an idol — to the black voters who “keep the faith” by supporting him and his policies – and, he hopes, his reelection campaign.

Obama, who had already told blacks to “stop complainin’“, must think that no one can see his pandereligosophistry.  He went so far as to analogize faith in him to the faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, three captive Jews who were thrown in a fiery furnace because they would not worship according to the policies of their particular pandering political leader.

Huh?

Well, Obama, who I ensure has no concept of true faith in God, clumsily continued that analogy, equating, as Gehrke wrote:  the Jews’ “faith in the things not seen” to the more mundane “belief that if you persevere a better day lies ahead.”

You see what I mean?  Not a clue.

Let me clue you in, my servants.  The faith of the Jews was not a faith in some foggy “things not seen;” it was a faith in a living God, a God whose decrees must be kept even unto the point of death under a contrary political regime.   They were not persevering for “better days ahead.”  Their faith was a faith to die for.

I hate those with the faith of those three captive Jews.  That faith produced a fourth Person in that fiery furnace, and that faith continues to produce that Person among any two or three gathered today .  I could not stand against that Person then, and I cannot stand against that Person today.

Obama, because I’ve made him Bible illiterate, further trivialized the Jews so-called faith “in things unseen” as “crazy faith.”  And Obama, because I’ve also made him God-illiterate, trivialized himself by analogizing “crazy faith” in him to “crazy faith” in God.

My oh my, I am good. 

I’m crazy good.

And because most people in the US are also Bible and God illiterate, Obama’s vain foolishness goes almost unnoticed.  Which is good, because rarely do my lies and deceptions get such blatantly pathetic public display. Such obvious, awkward attempts at religisopolitcalpanderifity tend to work against my kingdom goals.

Worse yet, in this case, where Obama’s duplicity did get noticed, it got noticed by someone not fooled.  As Gehrke concluded:

The only “kind of crazy” on display in this speech is the one that says faith in Obama’s policies is kind of like faith in God.

He’s right.

That’s why I hope Gehrke’s view does not get broader press coverage.

Crazy, man.

HT to Weasel Zippers!

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Terrible News Tuesday

Posted in Obama, voting with tags , on March 21, 2011 by devilbloggger

UPDATE: Pardieu, mes serviteurs.  In the blog post below my informants confused Iowa with Wisconsin.  Iowa is mainly known for growing corn, not cheese production.  Wisconsin is the home to proud cheese-heads.  My apologies.  Enjoy.

———————————————————————————————–

Clout.

I’m worried here, my servants.  You need to help me out.  My friend President Obama isn’t faring so well these days, and I’m concerned that he won’t serve me a second term.  I know many of you think I have supernatural powers to make events happen, but I don’t.  All I can do is hope for change.  For the rest  I need you to do my will on earth.  Now is the time.

You see, my servants, I read today in an AP article entitled “Growing Evangelical Clout Shaping Debate” that in the United States the clout of social and religious conservatives is growing in politically crucial Iowa.  Blechhh!

For my global, non-US servants, Iowa is a state in the United States that is known for virtually nothing but cheese.  But because the first Republican caucus for the upcoming presidential election is in Iowa everyone who wants to be America’s next big cheese panders to Iowans first.

And something is beginning to stink.

In fact, I’m issuing a Level 2 devilbloggger Alert for today’s threatening news.  A Level 2 Alert is issued for a credible threat to the long-term stability of my kingdom, a threat for which I must ask all my faithful to sacrifice some time and energy to counteract. 

Yes, we can.

According to the AP article, these stinkin’ Christians are meddling in politics big time.  Norm Pawlewski, a lobbyist for the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition, says of social conservatives (code word for stinkin’, meddlin’, Bible-thumpin’, Christians):

“They’ve gotten more involved in the party.  I’ve seen a change in the kind of people who are volunteering — and not only volunteering but working.”

Working?  Yikes!

You see, my servants, the reason for my alarm?  It’s one thing for Christians to whine about a corrupt and Godless society.  It’s one thing for Christians to moan and groan about a president who displays actions consistent with my will.  It’s one thing for Christians to apathetically withdraw into their “holy huddles” and keep quiet. 

But it’s entirely another thing for Christians to start working for change.

I suppose I miscalculated my man Obama.  I knew he would seek to enact legislation, forcefully back policies, and shamelessly pander to constituencies in ways that please me.  But I didn’t quite expect Americans to notice and react the way they are.  Steve Sheffler, president of the above-mentioned Faith-in God-and-Jesus-only and Freedom-except-to-do-what-you-want Coalition-of-like-narrow-minded-meddlers said “part of the energy surging through social and religious conservatives comes from antipathy to the Obama administration.”

Say it ain’t so!  I had such great hope for change!

My servants, if we want to keep Son Obama in office four more years, each of you must get out and counteract any resurgence of Godly family values, traditional morals, healthy lifestyles, secure commitments, and every other detestable cultural barrier to my kingdom on earth. 

Like I said, many of you think I have some magical, supernatural powers to do my work on earth.  But I don’t.  I can only work through the minds of those taken captive by my vain philosophies and haughty pretenses against all things Godly. 

And you are my captives.  As long as you don’t do anything to help those Iowans push their social agenda, you do my will.  As long as you do not get out and work for issues held dear by the Conservative Right, you please me.  And as long as you don’t vote for a candidate to replace my Servant Son Obama, then I say “well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Now go and do bad for my kingdom.

Starting in Iowa.

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Obama: No more defense, but plenty of offense

Posted in marriage, Obama, same sex marraige with tags , , on February 24, 2011 by devilbloggger

Marriage.

My servants, I must bask in a little victory today.  I read in Worldmag.com today in an article entitled “No more defense,” that President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder declared the United States’ Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional.  My servants, my kingdom hardly gets any better than this.

Obama, who I’ve said before is the gift that keeps on taking, continues to do my bidding on virtually every front.  Think about it:

  • He lied when he said previously, with regards to DOMA, “We have a duty to uphold existing law.” 
  • He cheated when a reporter asked whether the administration would quit defending DOMA in court and his then-White House spokesman Robert Gibbs respond, “We can’t declare the law unconstitutional.” 
  • And he stole when, yesterday, he deemed the act, which Congress passed in 1996 under President Clinton, unconstitutional.

Lying.  Cheating. Stealing.  Like a marionette, my servants.  Sometimes my arms get tired.

Many of you think I take too much credit but you are wrong.  Who else could get someone to say with their mouth they are a Christian and act out their life in almost perfect harmony with my will? 

Who?

Do not doubt me, my servants.  I have found a vessel of dishonor in President Obama, and I have nurtured a populace that yawns when he “deems” a God-honoring federal law unconstitutional.  Obama may put up no more defense of marriage, but he puts up plenty of offense to God.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

DOMA, you see,  defines marriage as between a man and a woman and bars federal benefits to same-sex couples.  To show just how much in blind bondage I have the Americans, consider the following little quiz.

Based on your own gut, without over analyzing, answer the following eight questions YES or NO:

  1. Is God for marriage being defined in its traditional form, i.e., as between a man and a woman?
  2. Am I against marriage being defined in its traditional form?
  3. Did God ordain marriage between a man and a woman as sacred?
  4. Do I seek to ignore or destroy the sacredness of marriage as between a man and a woman?
  5. Did God design the first marriage as between a man and a woman?
  6. Do I try to foil the design of marriage by designing and introducing unnatural forms as natural and legally protected?
  7. Does God stand for what is right and proper, regardless of popularity?
  8. Do I stand for what is expedient, regardless of long term harm to individuals and society?

If you answered truthfully you would have answered YES to every question above, because YES is the self-evidently right answer to each.

Now, to prove my point about Obama, for every even-numbered question substitute “Obama” for “I” (along with “Is” and “Does”, etc.) and see if the answers change.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

See?

Hey, let Obama say he’s a Christian all he wants.  If he’s a Christian, I’m a Christian.  We can all be Christians!

Do you, Satan, take this man Obama, as your lawfully wedded man servant, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do you meet?

I do.

1 Comment »

Am I sustaining Obama’s faith?

Posted in christians, Obama, prayer, Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 3, 2011 by devilbloggger

Prayer.  Blechhh!

What’s the difference between President Obama praying at the United States’ National Prayer Breakfast and an ordinary citizen praying daily before breakfast?  There are many, actually.  One looks staged while the other is routine.  One looks fake while the other looks real.  One looks like political expedience while the other looks like personal piety.  And, of course, one is performed by a haughty person who believes in his heart that the other is a “bitter clinger” who probably also owns a gun.

Ha ha ha ha ha.  Who does Obama think he’s foolin’?  Well, he may fool a few, but that’s not anything–I’ve fooled millions with more light-angel deception than Obama can even hope to match.  He’s a piker compared to me.

But I like him.

Of course, in reality, as I’ve said here before, I do not know if Obama is a Christian or not.  I can only judge the same way you do, and he is inviting us to judge him.  What do you think?

I can tell you that just saying you are a Christian does not make you a Christian.  My dark abyss is half full of self-identified Christians.  It seems that in the United States today the definition of what a Christian is is so muddled that virtually anyone can be one just by “believing in God.”

Hey, that means I’m a Christian also.  I believe in God. I can even quote the Bible.  And I have many Christian friends.  I’ve even been to many a prayer breakfast.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And I have enough fellow “Christians” down here to fill a mega-church. 

So it was nice to read today that Obama believes that I help sustain his faith, whatever faith that might be.  Yes, my servants, as reported in Christianity Today’s article entitled, “Obama, Wallace, Giffords’s Husband, Chilean Miner Lead Prayer Breakfast,” it seems Obama said:

“My Christian faith then has been a sustaining force for me over these last few years, all the more so when Michelle and I hear our faith questioned from time to time.”

From time to time?  Does anyone not question his faith? 

Well, yes, actually.

There are many who do not question his faith because everyone has faith in something, and America’s opinion-makers are glad Obama’s Christian faith merely manifests as a weak verbal affirmation of “a God” from time to time.  Anything other than Christianity is OK with America’s elites, and a few politically expedient and transparent faith plays like that of today’s Prayer Breakfast are excusable as the price to pay for being President in America (for now).  So they are not going to question his faith.

I, for one, will not worry as long as Obama doesn’t act like a Christian.  It’s not those who say they are Christians that are Christians, but those in whom God has worked a heart change and who can’t not act like Christians.  True Christians take God’s word seriously and do God’s will on earth. 

And if you think Obama is a Christian based on what he does on earth, then I have one question for you:  Do you think God is pleased with Obama’s actions, his policies, and his clearly stated positions? 

Because I sure am.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

1 Comment »

Roe v. Wade: 38th Anniversary, Three Proclamations

Posted in abortion, Obama, Sex with tags , , on January 23, 2011 by devilbloggger

Everyone is someone’s puppet.

I’m bursting with pride, my servants.  Of course, I’m always bursting with pride, but this time I’m bursting and beaming.  If I weren’t evil I’d give every one of my demons the day off.  But, of course, I am evil personified, so off they go to their daily tasks of confusing, confounding, and generally wreaking havoc among my wise puppets of this world. 

And it is precisely the wise, perhaps the wisest, of this world that I salute today: US President Barack Obama. My non-American friends must bear with me on this one.  And all my servants must bear with me as I visit the topic of abortion for the second time this week.  But as you will see, we have reason to celebrate, and celebrate I will.

Today, my servants, marks the 38th anniversary of the United State’s Supreme Court decision of Roe v. Wade, which deemed abortion a Constitutional right to all already-born women.  And, of course, we don’t forget down here that in every case of abortion there is somewhere a cowardly already-born man, and usually some already-born parents and grandparents urging a scared young woman to exercise her clear constitutional rights. 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Fifty million little hearts stopped.  Two hundred million little hands and feet thrown into trash bags.  Fifty million little images of God sliced up one by one before his knitting was even finished.

Not bad for only 38 years in the United States, right?

But here’s the best part, my servants.  I warned you in Wednesday’s post that today, January 23, 2011 is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.  This is the day that Godpunks and anti-Constitutionalists set aside to mourn, whine, and generally fuss among themselves because they are completely powerless to stop little scream number 50 million and one.  And what happened on today’s Sanctity of Human Life Sunday?  Obama spoke, as reported here, and made clear that in the United States, regardless of how much Godpunks march, chant, petition, or grieve, today is Sanctity of a Woman’s Right to Choose Death Sunday.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Let me illustrate.  Obama gave a press statement today.  I have reproduced it below, along with the statement I would have given, had I direct access to the press.  After that I will give you the statement I overheard God give (but no one in the press was listening).  You tell me: do I have reason to boast?

Obama’s Proclamation:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that protects women’s health and reproductive freedom, and affirms a fundamental principle: that government should not intrude on private family matters.

I am committed to protecting this constitutional right. I also remain committed to policies, initiatives, and programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant women and mothers, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.

And on this anniversary, I hope that we will recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights, the same freedoms, and the same opportunities as our sons to fulfill their dreams.

Satan’s Proclamation:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that protects already-born women’s convenience and freedom to stop inconvenient reproduction, and affirms a fundamental principle: that government should not intrude on private family matters, except if an already-born person is trying to privately kill an already-born family member, or any other of thousands of circumstances in which cases the police will very certainly intrude.

I am fully, completely and irreversibly committed to protecting this constitutional right. I really couldn’t care less about unintended pregnancies, and will show no visible support for pregnant women, who, of course, are mothers, or encourage healthy relationships, or promote adoption.

And on this anniversary, I hope that we will recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights to sex without consequences, the same freedoms from responsibility, and the same opportunities as our sons to fulfill their selfish dreams.

God’s Proclamation:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that enshrined a legal right in America to unilaterally kill my handiwork in the name of reproductive freedom, and affirmed a fundamental principle: that a government can, if not checked by its people, usurp its rightful role in protecting life and liberty for all human beings, and turn a willing blind eye to the taking of life and liberty for certain, select defenseless humans, and to do so in the blatantly arrogant and selectively evil name of not wishing to intrude on private family matters.

There is hardly a sadder anniversary on earth.  One and a half million of my American creations destroyed at the hands of others of my creations each year; that’s almost 200 every hour.  And those in leadership in the United States believe this is cause for celebration and continued commitment?

I am committed to ending killing of the defenseless in all forms and for all reasons, including as a constitutional right. I wish there were true policies, initiatives, and programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant women and mothers, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.  But as long as “choice” is the standard, rather than “life,” I know there will never be true committment by the American government for any of these.

And on this anniversary, I hope that Americans will recommit themselves more broadly to ensuring that their unborn daughters and sons have the same rights, the same freedoms, and the same opportunities as their already-born daughters and sons to fulfill their dreams.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

See why I’m proud?

Obama’s Procalamation on the 38th anniverasary of Roe v. Wade is almost word for word what I would say if I could.  And my proclamation is almost word for word what Obama would have said if he could.  For this reason, Obama’s statement is Satan Approved.

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Is Obama a Christian?

Posted in abortion, christians, homosexuality, Obama, political correctness, same sex marraige with tags , , , , , on January 6, 2011 by devilbloggger

Is US President Barack Obama a Christian?

You asked Satan.  In fact, everyone wants to know.  Two news articles recently raised the question, and, in fact, answered it.  First was an AP article entitled, “Obama makes rare trip to church while in Hawaii,” and, second, a Politics Daily article entitled, “Obama Tries to Reassert His Christian Bona Fides, With Words and Deeds.”

Hmmmm. . .

Question:  If you have to wonder if someone is a Christian, guess what is the likely answer?   

Ha ha ha ha ha.  And you are probably right!

But since you asked, here is my short answer: I don’t know (for sure).

Surprised?  You shouldn’t be.  Unlike God (Blechhh!) I am not omniscient.  I don’t know everything, and I cannot see into people’s hearts and minds and determine the state of their spiritual health.  In this respect I am no different than you; I can only infer from what I see and hear.

Of course, I have much more experience judging inner conviction by outward evidence, so here is my longer answer:

For the most part I judge a man’s heart the same way God does and you should: by the fruit of his life on earth. 

But I have been known to be wrong. On more than one occasion someone I felt sure I would welcome through the gates of Hell went the other way, never to be seen by me again.  But more often than not I see those who appear to be religious on earth, going through all the right motions and acting the saint, only to find them come tumbling into my eternal domain, moaning and groaning and acting surprised.

Often I hear the earthly self-righteous screaming pitifully: “But Jesus, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?”  It seems there are many fools who do not believe in God, and many fooled who do!

Of course, I have helped make both the fools and the fooled. 

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

I have spread many lies on earth about how to get to heaven.  I have spread the lie that one need not be a Christian at all; there are many paths to God as long as one is good and believes in love.  I have spread the lie that one “need not go to church” to be a good Christian.  I have spread the lie that going to church makes one a good Christian.  I have spread the lie that good works alone will get one to heaven, and calling oneself a Christian is a mere label and nothing else.  I have spread the lie that belief systems that deny the deity of Christ are Christian. 

Lies, lies, lies.  Ha ha ha ha ha.  And so many believe my lies and believe themselves to be Christians.

But the biggest lie of all is that man can make God in his own image, so that becoming a “Christian” is an exercise in semantics, where one’s self-identification as a Christian is deemed sufficient for the actual fact of being a Christian, and God otherwise is molded to be what man wishes him to be.

In fact, a Christian is a very unique being on earth.  A Christian is one who has been reborn spiritually, becoming alive and free, having escaped by God’s grace from my death, sin, and destruction.  That is why I hate Christians.  They have experienced a supernatural work of God in their hearts, a work that I am powerless to stop and which bears fruit in one’s actions that I am equally at pains to stop. 

One can fake the actions, but one can’t fake the rebirth.

Sometimes the fakers fool even me.  So that is why I hesitate to declare definitively on Obama’s Christianity.  But let me tell you what it looks like from my view.

I have many hundreds of years watching human beings, and watching Christians.  I almost always know a true Christian.  A true Christian has a humble dependence on God that is expressed unambiguously in word and deed, in public and in private.  A true Christian has experienced a life-changing encounter with a living God that results in the Christian’s trading slavery to sin for slavery to righteousness; that is, a true Christian seeks to live every moment of every day in regenerated righteous obedience to God as revealed in his word, the Bible. 

A true Christian is not one who merely self-identifies as one.  An unregenerate self-identifier is merely a lying sinner.

A true Christian seeks to destroy my kingdom.  And his words and actions make his intentions clear.  I oppose true Christians at every turn, seeking to thwart their every effort at advancing God’s kingdom on earth.

Now, answer me this: would a true Christian cover up Christian symbols while speaking at a Christian university?  Obama did.

Would a true Christian vote unambiguously and without apology for laws that make killing an innocent human being legal?  Obama did.  More than once.

Would a true Christian refer to people in communities as bitter, and as clinging to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them”? Obama did.

Would a true Christian support the homosexual political agenda, in clear opposition to Biblical Christianity?  Obama does.

Would a true Christian support same-sex marriage, for example by using tax dollars to fund same-sex lifestyles?  Obama did.

Would a true Christian “forget” to include the reference to a “creator” when quoting his nation’s founding document’s most famous line?  Obama does.  Repeatedly.

Would a true Christian “forget” his nation’s own motto of “In God We Trust” and quote a different motto instead in a major speech to Muslims?  Obama did.

I could go on forever (literally!).

But think for yourself, my servants.  You can see the same behavior I see.  What you may lack is a clear understanding of what a Christian is.

But if you rationally juxtapose what a true Christian looks like with what Obama looks like, there is only one reasonable answer to the question “Is Obama a Christian.”

From my viewpoint, the answer is clearly no.  And I back my words up with actions; I rarely find myself needing to oppose a speech, a vote, a policy, or any other action of President Obama’s.

But I have been known to be wrong.

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Things Fall Apart: How American Voters Gave Up on Democrats (for now)

Posted in abortion, atheists, christians, election, homosexuality, liberals, marriage, Obama, political correctness, politics, same sex marraige, voting with tags , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by devilbloggger

American Democrats have religion too!

Why don’t religious people flock to the Democrat Party in the United States?  This question seems to befuddle American political operatives, to the point where they silly themselves all over the internet.  The latest spill of DemoSillyThink comes from the pages of The New Republic, in a piece by Tiffany Stanley entitled, “Things fall apart, how the Democrats gave up on religious voters.”

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

Now, my servants, I did not use the term “Democrat;” that is Stanley’s.  I prefer to look at the world through more general categories of (1) those who take God and his word seriously; and, (2) those who don’t.  In Hell we refer to these as (1) those we hate; and, (2) those we love, respectively.

Of course, it is true, as Tiffany sees but does not understand, that Democrats in the United States almost to a person please me by choosing to populate my Category 2.

And Tiffany’s article is subtitled “How the Democrats gave up on religious voters”?

Ha ha ha ha ha .

Try “How religious voters saw right through godless Democrat religotalk.”

Tiffany details the history of the Democrat’s exercises in ”faith outreach” to reach “religious people.”  Barack Obama, of course, was the “shining hope for the religious left,” one who was not afraid of the “language of faith,” and “a liberal who gave the impression that his religiosity was heartfelt, genuine, and important to his politics.”

News bulletin to all the Tiffany’s of the world.  The “religious left” was, and is, already speaking their “language of faith” loud and clear, it’s just a different faith.  You only confuse people when you try to “give the impression” of genuine religiosity to those I hate in Category 1.

You see, they see you.  They see your words in action, as Rush Limbaugh observes today.  It’s hard to improve on Rush, but I’ll try:  We see you delighting in snubbing Christmas at every chance, and apologizing at every other.  We see you promoting the killing of babies, both born and unborn.  We see you trying to gut the military, marriages, and churches, turning them over to a homosexual political agenda.  We see you openly supporting a mosque at Ground Zero.  We see you trying to get rid of organizations rooted in God, like the Boy Scouts.  We see religious people mocked by your “shining hope” as religious clingers.  And at every turn we see you trying to replace God with government, which is to say, you.

Not true! We believe in God!  We believe in God!

Blah blah blah. 

So do I!

Tiffany even quotes sociologist Rebecca Sager, who with no understanding whatsoever blurts:

“Ninety percent of people believe in some sort of God. It’s mind-boggling why you would cede those voters to the Republican Party.”

Tiffany, Rebecca,  listen:  Category 2 is full of believers in God (mostly the ”some sort” kind).  Stated belief in God is not the basis for my categories, and it’s not the way the American public categorizes. 

And that’s why the American Left will never win with American religious people.  Because in the land of the free and the home of the brave a huge majority still takes God and his word seriously, putting them squarely in Category 1.

I know, my servants, I know.  I am trying to change that as fast as I can.  But having Democrats like Barack Obama go around pretending like they are Christians does not help.  Like using a light to hide darkness, “giving the impression of faith” only highlights the liberal’s true faith.

My advice to liberals: Stop acting like Christians that you are not.  Both your base and your opponents resent such duplicity.  Your best bet, and I have centuries of experience in this area, is to stop the platitudes and cop the attitudes of your true self: a self that desires to make God in its own image, and lord it over others to make them in your likeness.

Remember, I am Liberal One.

Admit it. Live it.

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