Bad news on the wires today, my friends. And I’m blaming the Gallup poll folks. For my non-American readers, Gallup is a leading polling organization in the United States. They ask all kinds of people all kinds of nosey questions, including stupid questions (for most Americans) like, “Are you for or against the basic human rights the Founding Fathers enshrined in the Constitution.”
Well, what red-blooded American wouldn’t be for constitutionally protected basic human rights? The Founding Fathers, by the way, made it clear in the Declaration of Independence that these rights are inalienable because they derive from their creator.
Fortunately, no American children are ever exposed to these evil documents. (How many Americans even know what inalienable means?)
And even more fortunately for my kingdom, my servants, is that those amazing Founding Fathers were primarily concerned with the rights of Mounding Mothers.
You did not know that?
Yes, in addition to ensuring future Americans would have rights to free speech, free exercise of religion, and the right to bear arms . . . wait, I thought these rights were inalienable!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
(Sorry, my friends. But those Americans let their rights be taken from them with hardly a whimper.)
But back to my point–for some reason the Americans willingly let government quietly strip their rights to speech, religion and guns, rights for which many revolutionaries gave their lives. But fortunately, there is one right enshrined in the US Constitution that will likely never be taken away.
In fact, thousands still die for this right each year.
Yes, it’s the constitutionally protected right of Mounding Mothers to end their mounding together with their motherhood. And with each end to motherhood a little mound-causing person dies.
An innocent person, at that.
Sometime before their little mound is even detectable.
My kingdom come, my will be done on earth as it is in Hell.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So, you ask, what does Gallup have to do with this?
Well, the Gallup meddlers are stirring up a non-controversy by asking people if they identify themselves as “pro-choice” or not.
Think about it, my friends, why is the question even being asked?
Does Gallup go around asking people if they consider themselves “pro-free speech”?
You see, my friends, the beauty of constitutionally protected rights that derive from God is that it doesn’t matter if you like them or not — they are guaranteed rights to all (already born) human beings.
And the right for a mother to end her motherhood was, thanks to the amazing foresight of the Founding Fathers, enshrined in the United States Constitution.
So why does Gallup keep asking people if they are for it or against it?
But it’s even worse, my servants.
It seems that in asking the question the Gallup troublemakers found a devastating result. According to today’s Politico.com,
The percentage of Americans who identify themselves as “pro-choice” is at the lowest point ever measured by Gallup, according to a new survey released Wednesday.
Yes, a record low 41 percent of Americans now identify themselves as “pro-choice” (which is a euphemism for “anti-Mounding Mothers”). And worser yet, 50 percent of Americans now consider themselves “pro-life”!
Yes, it’s bad, my servants, and I put much of the blame on Gallup.
By continually asking whether people are “pro-choice” or “pro-life” (Gallup has been asking this question since 1995), they keep alive the notion that maybe, just maybe, abortion is not so inalienable after all (there’s that word again; look it up!)
Does Gallup go around asking people if they are “pro-constitutional rights” or not?
Then why ask the same question differently by substituting “pro-choice” for “pro-constitutional rights?” The terms are synonymous, right?
By asking the question Gallup reminds everyone that, in fact, the right that thousands die for each year might actually not be so constitutional.
In fact, those thousands might actually die for something that is not only not consitutional, but might just be wrong.
And when people no longer have the cover of “well, it’s legal, so it must be right,” they will have to face what they already sense in their hearts: that abortion is wrong.
Gallup, please stop.