Archive for the Sex Category

Your Glee is My (unstoppable) Glee

Posted in Ethics, homosexuality, Morality, political correctness, progressives, same sex marraige, Sex, Sexual revolution with tags , , on November 13, 2011 by devilbloggger

Glee!

I knew it would come to this, my servants.  After all, what (or who) could stop it?  Yes, my friends, I’m bragging about the glorious boyboysex delivered into millions of households this week on Fox’s popular teen-targeted comedy “Glee”.

Comedy?

Maybe for you, but for me?  It’s pure glee!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Boyboysex on prime time television.  According to Fox News’ article entitled “Straight, Gay Couples Lose Virginity on ‘Glee’ Episode, Spark Controversy,” my will on earth is hurtling along almost totally unimpeded.

Who can stop it?

According to the Fox News article, both a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple will lose their respective virginities on this prime time fare.

And do you know what I like best?  It’s that the uproar is virtually solely over the boyboysex.  The world apparently yawns at two children of opposite sex “losing it” on television.  That is so yesterday.

But boyboysex?

Well, soon that, too, will be so yesterday.

You see, my servants, how far we have come. Today’s shock is tomorrow’s yawn.

And the beat goes on.

My Glee glee is particularly gleefulicious because it comes during the same week that the world is shocked at the allegations of boyboysex between a grown man and a 10-year old boy in the locker rooms of Penn State’s Happy Valley.

I love the hand-wringing over the fate of that poor little 10-year old (who was merely unlucky in time; within the next 50 years such behavior will be accepted as normal).  The popular press screams in high moral outrage about a grown man enjoying boyboysex with a 10-year old pinned to a shower wall.

You are all my 10-year olds, my friends.

While the world frets about that 10-year old on the receiving end of boyboysex in the locker room, do you know how many 10-year olds (or younger) watched boyboysex on Glee?

I’ll tell you.  I was gleefully counting: 2,744,992.

And do you know what else?  About 31% of those 10-year olds were watching with their parents in the room.

I’m not sure what I’m more proud of — the kids watching with their mind-numbed parents, or the kids watching without.  Both are huge victories for my kingdom.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Now, of course, there are those against my kingdom who try to sound the warning bell.    Melissa Henson, the director of communications and public education for the Parents Television Council, a nonpartisan education organization advocating responsible entertainment, was quick to weigh in by refuting the standard Hollywood line:

Hollywood loves to defend teen sex story lines by insisting, “Kids are having sex! We’re reflecting the real world!” But the truth is much more sobering and
complicated.

Yes, of course it is.  Because as Henson states:

Teens are also aware that television influences their behavior. According to one survey, a third of youths age 12 and older say the media encourages them to have sex by making it seem like “everybody does it.” And why shouldn’t they get that impression?

You see, my friends.  I use television to continually push back the lines of morally acceptable behaviour for language, sexuality, and culture in general.  But my greatest achievements come among the little chillen’s of the world.

And I’m proud not only because of what I’ve accomplished, but also at how easy it is.

A few minutes of prime time comedy will prove to anyone how effective my strategy has been.  The airwaves shining into the minds of chillens the world over are full of vulgarity, sexual innuendo, sexual exuendo, glamorized casual sex, shameless gratuitous sex, and, of course sex-laced laugh lines to make you laugh your way to moral rot and decay.

You see, my friends, I have almost the whole world grinning with glee as they face the shower wall.

And, again, who can stop me?

Apparently no one.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(PS: Don’t tell anyone, but television would hardly be my playground of evil if only Christians and those who call themselves Christians stopped watching.  Shhhhh!)

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Gwyneth Paltrow: Theologian

Posted in homosexuality, political correctness, progressives, religion, Sex, Sexual revolution, Uncategorized with tags , , on June 9, 2011 by devilbloggger

Finally.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief now, my friends.  The cultural battle waging across the globe on the issue of homosexuality can finally be ended.  A theologian has spoken wisdom to us all, and, not surprisingly, this theologian who no doubt studied God’s Word in its original languages, read it thoroughly to see its overarching themes of holiness before a just God, and who surely speaks with an inspired voice, came to the conclusion that boyboysex and girlgirlsex is okey-dokey with God.

Who is this eminent voice of measured scriptural authority before whom we should all willingly beat our swords of divine truth into plowshares of earthly claptrap?   None other than one whose initials can stand for Gay Pride: Gwyneth Paltrow.

Yes, the excellent actress Ms. Paltrow decided she should join my vocal in-crowd on an issue for which God is decidedly and vocally out: homosexuality.  Writing in her GOOP Newsletter today, Ms. Paltrow, after certainly studying scripture closely and seeking the very heart of God, found the notion of the Bible’s condemning homosexuality “foreign.”

Ha ha ha ha ha. 

I love it.  Once again my lies on earth are working.  How can homosexuality be wrong when homosexuals can be so nice?  We all, like Ms. Paltrow, know homosexual people, and they are our friends, coworkers, and neighbors.  In this case, can’t we love both the sin and the sinner?

I do, of course. 

Theological meanderings such as Paltrow’s are common, but to maintain acceptance of homosexuality on the belief that the concept of homosexuality being condemned in the Bible is “foreign” reveals that it is the Bible itself that is foreign to Paltrow. 

The Bible, like it or not, condemns homosexuality in numerous places.  I wonder which part Paltrow finds “foreign”?  The part where the Bible says that homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Or the part where the Bible says that homosexuality is a perversion?  Or the part where the Bible says homosexuality is an abomination to God?

Foreign?

Yes, pretty Gwyneth, who like most of her persuasion apparently has never read the Bible, finds the very concept of the Bible condemning an abomination to be foreign.  And she worries that this concept is “used to justify so much judgement [sic] and separation in our society.”

Tell me, my pretty, does it worry you that “concepts” condemning murder tend to justify judgment and separation of murderers? 

No?

Really?  Because murderers are condemned in the very same Biblical passages alluded to above.

Do you see, my servants, what is happening here?  Ms. Gwyneth doesn’t really know or care what the Bible says.  She just knows what she wishes to be true.  I’ve said before that everyone has a line drawn in the moral sand, beyond which even they find judgment and separation of offenders justified. 

God has his line.  Gwyneth has her line.  All of God’s chillens have a line.

What I love to see is human beings exercising human wisdom to reason their way to moving God’s line over to their line.  It’s easy to do, really.  All one must do, as other writers on Paltrow’s GOOP page do, is make the Bible something other than God’s inerrant word.

A mighty wise Episcopal priest named Cynthia Bourgeault, for example, sees the Bible as a:

“symphony (sometimes a cacophony!) of divinely inspired human voices bearing witness to an astonishing evolutionary development in our human understanding of God.”

Get it?  We were dumb before to believe homosexuality to be sinful in God’s sight, but with evolutionary development in our understanding we come to see that God didn’t really mean what he said.  Because, according to the mighty wise Bourgeault, “God reveals Godself in time, through process and dialogue, not in unchanging monolithic statements.”

So according to the might wise Bourgeault, it is only a matter of time before we have enough process and dialogue with “Godself” (who seems remarkably similar to Bourgeaultself) to find that murder is not really a sin.

Right?

Why not?

No, really, why not?

To Ms. Paltrow’s credit, she does include, somewhat reluctantly and only with an asterisk signaling her reasoning “to include as many perspectives as possible on this issue,” a correct view by Dr. John Stott.  I urge you to not read Mr. Stott’s view; let me summarize his views as he did in his conclusion:

Here, then, are three truths which Jesus affirmed: (1) heterosexual gender is a divine creation; (2) heterosexual marriage is a divine institution; and (3) heterosexual fidelity is the divine intention. A homosexual liaison is a breach of all three of these divine purposes.

Ouch!

I wonder why Ms. Paltrow didn’t mention Jesus’ view on the subject.  Or the Apostle Paul’s?  Or any other of those “inspired human writers” the mighty wise Ms. Bourgeault writes off?

Maybe because she has never read those views?

Ms. Paltrow ends her schooling of God by wondering:

What does is actually say in the bible [sic] that will cause some people to be upset by my line of thinking?

Yes, what does it actually say, Ms. Gwyneth?

Happy Pride.

Love,

S.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

2 Comments »

Weining!

Posted in perversion, Sex, Sexual revolution, Sin, Uncategorized with tags , on June 7, 2011 by devilbloggger

Move over Charlie Sheen!

My servants, I must say that I’ve stayed away from the whole Anthony Weiner affair for a few days.  Not because I wasn’t relishing every salacious moment.  But sometimes there is no need for me to comment on such exhibits of my dominance in the lives of men.  The very facts themselves show the world to what depths of sin and depravity I’ve led the greatest nation on earth. 

But today my pride cup overfloweth as I realized Anthony Weiner’s forced apology and the culture of perversion-sensitized ignorance that unflinchingly listened to it go to show my success to an even greater degree.  Let me explain.

My global friends, I’m sure you have heard of Mr. Weiner, the United States Congressman who sponsored the Keeping the Internet Devoid of Sexual Predators Act of 2007.  Yes, Mr. Weiner proved the need for, and the impotence of, such legislation by revealing himself to be a serial internet sexual predator. 

Mr. Weiner the Righteous, who lords over Americans had this to say in 2007:

“Sadly, the Internet is the predator’s venue of choice today. We need to update our strategies and our laws to stop these offenders who are a mere click away from our children.”

Today Mr. Weiner revealed that he engaged in online predatory acts with many women, and he didn’t even know their ages.  “To the best of his knowledge” they were adults.

And we’re going to trust his knowledge?  Maybe they were mere children?  Does it matter?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But listen, my servants, and let me share what you should notice from this whole wonderfully sordid episode.  Step back for a moment, and consider with me just what we are witnessing here.  The Americans are now in a national conversation on the topic of whether a married elected public official who admittedly sent lewd pictures of himself to multiple women multiple times, was dumb enough to get caught, lied about it, and who acted (and continues to act) arrogantly toward others who dare question him, should keep his job.

Pinch me, my servants!  Is this really a serious question? 

Step back with me, my friends. First, can you even start to imagine George Washington doing this?  Abraham Lincoln?  Even Bill Clinton?  George and Abe would not have because they know it’s wrong; Bill would not have because he’s too smart (or at least too smart to get caught).  Which means the Americans have an exposed, morally degenerate, tax-funded idiot as an elected lawmaker.  Is this the America that once was?

This is a wonderful sign of the times, my servants.  Reprobate men believing themselves accountable to no one, feeling no shame but the false shame of regret.  It’s a beautiful thing.  I am proud.

But more importantly, my servants, consider my second point.  Can you believe that there is any question as to whether or not this pervert of mine should resign in permanent shame? 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

The best the Americans can do is call for an “ethics inquiry” to see if Mr. Weiner used any “official resources” to practice his predatory perversion on American citizens?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

This is too good, my friends.  My servants, we have a Weiner!  I am going to start a new catchphrase for my kingdom: Weining!

Every time the facts show a culture so sexually saturated that perverted, lewd, behavior produces no more than a collective “inquiry” into academic questions of technical details, we can all yell Weining!

In this case, the very fact that my little Weiner is defiantly insisting he won’t resign his office of public trust, and the Americans are countenancing this scoundrel’s sick and twisted pubic distrust with no more than an “inquiry” into what “resources” were used, delights me greatly.

This is my will on earth as it is in Hell.

Mr. Weiner, though it’s no doubt been hard on you, and maybe even your wife, I thank you for showing the world just how far we’ve come.

Weining!

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Roe v. Wade: 38th Anniversary, Three Proclamations

Posted in abortion, Obama, Sex with tags , , on January 23, 2011 by devilbloggger

Everyone is someone’s puppet.

I’m bursting with pride, my servants.  Of course, I’m always bursting with pride, but this time I’m bursting and beaming.  If I weren’t evil I’d give every one of my demons the day off.  But, of course, I am evil personified, so off they go to their daily tasks of confusing, confounding, and generally wreaking havoc among my wise puppets of this world. 

And it is precisely the wise, perhaps the wisest, of this world that I salute today: US President Barack Obama. My non-American friends must bear with me on this one.  And all my servants must bear with me as I visit the topic of abortion for the second time this week.  But as you will see, we have reason to celebrate, and celebrate I will.

Today, my servants, marks the 38th anniversary of the United State’s Supreme Court decision of Roe v. Wade, which deemed abortion a Constitutional right to all already-born women.  And, of course, we don’t forget down here that in every case of abortion there is somewhere a cowardly already-born man, and usually some already-born parents and grandparents urging a scared young woman to exercise her clear constitutional rights. 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Fifty million little hearts stopped.  Two hundred million little hands and feet thrown into trash bags.  Fifty million little images of God sliced up one by one before his knitting was even finished.

Not bad for only 38 years in the United States, right?

But here’s the best part, my servants.  I warned you in Wednesday’s post that today, January 23, 2011 is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.  This is the day that Godpunks and anti-Constitutionalists set aside to mourn, whine, and generally fuss among themselves because they are completely powerless to stop little scream number 50 million and one.  And what happened on today’s Sanctity of Human Life Sunday?  Obama spoke, as reported here, and made clear that in the United States, regardless of how much Godpunks march, chant, petition, or grieve, today is Sanctity of a Woman’s Right to Choose Death Sunday.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Let me illustrate.  Obama gave a press statement today.  I have reproduced it below, along with the statement I would have given, had I direct access to the press.  After that I will give you the statement I overheard God give (but no one in the press was listening).  You tell me: do I have reason to boast?

Obama’s Proclamation:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that protects women’s health and reproductive freedom, and affirms a fundamental principle: that government should not intrude on private family matters.

I am committed to protecting this constitutional right. I also remain committed to policies, initiatives, and programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant women and mothers, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.

And on this anniversary, I hope that we will recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights, the same freedoms, and the same opportunities as our sons to fulfill their dreams.

Satan’s Proclamation:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that protects already-born women’s convenience and freedom to stop inconvenient reproduction, and affirms a fundamental principle: that government should not intrude on private family matters, except if an already-born person is trying to privately kill an already-born family member, or any other of thousands of circumstances in which cases the police will very certainly intrude.

I am fully, completely and irreversibly committed to protecting this constitutional right. I really couldn’t care less about unintended pregnancies, and will show no visible support for pregnant women, who, of course, are mothers, or encourage healthy relationships, or promote adoption.

And on this anniversary, I hope that we will recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights to sex without consequences, the same freedoms from responsibility, and the same opportunities as our sons to fulfill their selfish dreams.

God’s Proclamation:

Today marks the 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that enshrined a legal right in America to unilaterally kill my handiwork in the name of reproductive freedom, and affirmed a fundamental principle: that a government can, if not checked by its people, usurp its rightful role in protecting life and liberty for all human beings, and turn a willing blind eye to the taking of life and liberty for certain, select defenseless humans, and to do so in the blatantly arrogant and selectively evil name of not wishing to intrude on private family matters.

There is hardly a sadder anniversary on earth.  One and a half million of my American creations destroyed at the hands of others of my creations each year; that’s almost 200 every hour.  And those in leadership in the United States believe this is cause for celebration and continued commitment?

I am committed to ending killing of the defenseless in all forms and for all reasons, including as a constitutional right. I wish there were true policies, initiatives, and programs that help prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant women and mothers, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.  But as long as “choice” is the standard, rather than “life,” I know there will never be true committment by the American government for any of these.

And on this anniversary, I hope that Americans will recommit themselves more broadly to ensuring that their unborn daughters and sons have the same rights, the same freedoms, and the same opportunities as their already-born daughters and sons to fulfill their dreams.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

See why I’m proud?

Obama’s Procalamation on the 38th anniverasary of Roe v. Wade is almost word for word what I would say if I could.  And my proclamation is almost word for word what Obama would have said if he could.  For this reason, Obama’s statement is Satan Approved.

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My sexual revolution exposed

Posted in False religion, Sex, Sexual revolution with tags , , , on January 22, 2011 by devilbloggger

Drats.

You know, my servants, every once in a while a Godpunk gets it.  I mean really gets it.  This time it’s some dude named Peter Kreeft, writing in the Catholic Education Resource Center in an article entitled “Christian anthropology versus the Sexual Revolution.”  I hesitate to ask you to read it, as it truly reveals a secret of my kingdom on earth: It’s all about sex. 

On second thought, I must ask you to not read Kreeft’s article.  By reading it you run the risk of contaminating your mind by learning Kreeft’s insight, something I’ve known for centuries: among all the substitutes for God, sex is a pretty good one.

Pretty good, Kreeft?

Hey, look around.  What other area of morality has experienced a “revolution”?  Does anyone talk of a “Property Revolution”?  Or a “Bearing False Witness Revolution”?  Does anyone defend as morally acceptable terrorism, sadism, cannibalism, insider trading, nuclear war, environmental pollution, rape, hypocrisy, torture, or murder?  Whoops, I just quoted Kreeft himself in that last list.  That’s because even though I hate that Kreeft stumbled into this truth, I must admit that I can hardly improve on his articulation of it.  As Kreeft recognizes, we are all allowed to be “judgmental” about everything in that list above.  But if it has anything to do with sex we dare not be “judgmental”.

Abortion?  It’s all about sex.  In most states of the United States if a gunman shoots a pregnant woman and kills the fetus, it’s murder.  If a negligent driver kills a fetus in an automobile accident, it’s negligent homicide.  But if a doctor kills a fetus as a form of birth control?  Hey, no problem, it’s just about sex.

Divorce?  As Kreeft recognizes, suppose that some other social norm resulted in the scientifically provable pathologies associated with divorce.  (Note to the naive: divorce is destroying Western culture).  But divorce is tolerated, even celebrated.  Why?  There is only one reason: Hey, no problem, it’s just about sex.  As Kreeft states:  We are not allowed to steal another man’s money without being put into jail, but we can steal another man’s wife.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

But Kreeft misses the mark in one area touched by the sexual revolution: politics.  Yes, as Kreeft notes, the non-impeachment of President Clinton is strong evidence that while virtually any immorality outside of sex would be a political career ender, sexual escapades rarely are.  But Clinton survived sexual scandal not only because “it’s just sex,” but also because he is part and parcel of the sexual revolution itself.  Like Italy’s Premier Silvo Berlusconi‘s ”dalliances with young women,” as reported here, Clinton’s sexual exploits are overlooked as “just sex” because he supports the cultural and social policies ushered in with the sexual revolution.  And he in no way attempts to suppress them.

But let a politically conservative, pro-life, or otherwise religious person in politics be accused of sexual impropriety?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I’m good.  I’m really good.

And here’s the best part, my servants, and something else that Kreeft missed.  I use sex to sell false religions as well.  Kreeft noted that it’s the teaching of the Church about sex that is by far the main reason the world hates and fears God’s church today.  But in addition to proper teaching on sex being socially out of step, virtually every false cult and religion out there mis-uses sex as God intended it to be as I intend.  Cult leaders who take little girls as wives?  That’s me.  Bigamous relationships?  That’s me.  Promises of virgins after death?  That’s me.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

That last one was in the news today!  Yes, it seems that over at CNNs belief blog, Adam Levine has discovered “virgin inflation” among Muslims.  In an article entitled “Afterlife inflation: Have jihadists had to raise martyrdom incentive?” Levine explores what happens when I use sex to advance my own religious objectives.  Sometimes even a lie has to be exaggerated. 

Ha ha ha ha ha.

The “72 virgins” thing is nonsense; as Levine explains such a notion has no basis even in the Quran.  It is a complete and utter lie, advanced by me because I know that whether I wish to blow up a marriage or a building, holding out the promise of good sex will do it every time. 

How else do you think I could trap so many sex addicts, whether they be second graders naked and doing sex acts in front of their teacher, or publicly pious men among my enemies, the Godpunks?  Kreeft notes a recent poll that showed over 50% of men who attend church every Sunday are addicted to pornography.  And about half of the remaining 50% don’t even recognize their eye-fill as porn or their time-waste as addiction.

Oh yeah, I am good at what I do.

And for the record, all you big, bad, bomb-strappin’ boys–we’re out of virgins down here.

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