I knew it would come to this, my servants. After all, what (or who) could stop it? Yes, my friends, I’m bragging about the glorious boyboysex delivered into millions of households this week on Fox’s popular teen-targeted comedy “Glee”.
Maybe for you, but for me? It’s pure glee!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Boyboysex on prime time television. According to Fox News’ article entitled “Straight, Gay Couples Lose Virginity on ‘Glee’ Episode, Spark Controversy,” my will on earth is hurtling along almost totally unimpeded.
Who can stop it?
According to the Fox News article, both a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple will lose their respective virginities on this prime time fare.
And do you know what I like best? It’s that the uproar is virtually solely over the boyboysex. The world apparently yawns at two children of opposite sex “losing it” on television. That is so yesterday.
Well, soon that, too, will be so yesterday.
You see, my servants, how far we have come. Today’s shock is tomorrow’s yawn.
And the beat goes on.
My Glee glee is particularly gleefulicious because it comes during the same week that the world is shocked at the allegations of boyboysex between a grown man and a 10-year old boy in the locker rooms of Penn State’s Happy Valley.
I love the hand-wringing over the fate of that poor little 10-year old (who was merely unlucky in time; within the next 50 years such behavior will be accepted as normal). The popular press screams in high moral outrage about a grown man enjoying boyboysex with a 10-year old pinned to a shower wall.
You are all my 10-year olds, my friends.
While the world frets about that 10-year old on the receiving end of boyboysex in the locker room, do you know how many 10-year olds (or younger) watched boyboysex on Glee?
I’ll tell you. I was gleefully counting: 2,744,992.
And do you know what else? About 31% of those 10-year olds were watching with their parents in the room.
I’m not sure what I’m more proud of — the kids watching with their mind-numbed parents, or the kids watching without. Both are huge victories for my kingdom.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Now, of course, there are those against my kingdom who try to sound the warning bell. Melissa Henson, the director of communications and public education for the Parents Television Council, a nonpartisan education organization advocating responsible entertainment, was quick to weigh in by refuting the standard Hollywood line:
Hollywood loves to defend teen sex story lines by insisting, “Kids are having sex! We’re reflecting the real world!” But the truth is much more sobering and
Yes, of course it is. Because as Henson states:
Teens are also aware that television influences their behavior. According to one survey, a third of youths age 12 and older say the media encourages them to have sex by making it seem like “everybody does it.” And why shouldn’t they get that impression?
You see, my friends. I use television to continually push back the lines of morally acceptable behaviour for language, sexuality, and culture in general. But my greatest achievements come among the little chillen’s of the world.
And I’m proud not only because of what I’ve accomplished, but also at how easy it is.
A few minutes of prime time comedy will prove to anyone how effective my strategy has been. The airwaves shining into the minds of chillens the world over are full of vulgarity, sexual innuendo, sexual exuendo, glamorized casual sex, shameless gratuitous sex, and, of course sex-laced laugh lines to make you laugh your way to moral rot and decay.
You see, my friends, I have almost the whole world grinning with glee as they face the shower wall.
And, again, who can stop me?
Apparently no one.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
(PS: Don’t tell anyone, but television would hardly be my playground of evil if only Christians and those who call themselves Christians stopped watching. Shhhhh!)