What do you think of when you think of “clergy,” my friends? Do you think “professional religious person” or something to that effect? I hope so, because one of my greatest successes on earth is in convincing people that the work of God belongs primarily to those with the label of “clergy” or an equivalent like “pastor,” “priest,” “preacher,” “evangelist,” or “rabbi.” Through this great cunning of mine I have effectively fractionogrified the work of God, limiting to a small fraction of the Godpie any focused activity against my kingdom.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
But I’m not finished, my servants.
No, I can do better.
And I’ll tell you my latest movement among clergy, if you promise to keep it confidential.
OK, here it is: I’m successful almost the world over in demoralizing, tiring, overworking, and generally discouraging “clergy” to the point that many no longer even believe in God!
Don’t believe me?
Then consider this nice little article by Candace Chellew-Hodge in today’s Religion Dispatches, entitled, “Clergy Come Out as Atheists.”
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yes, my faithful, as this article states, I have many “clergy” the world over who are either outright, professing atheists, or functional atheists. I love the professing atheists most, but both kinds serve my kingdom well. And all the while everyone thinks they are serving God’s kingdom!
I’m really good.
So Ms. Chellew-Hodge, who knows something about false theology from her own experiences, relates the plight of a Florida (U.S.A.) United Methodist Church pastor who recently “came out” as an atheist. According to the article, Ms. Teresa MacBain lives a “double life” because, according to her,”I’m currently an active pastor and I’m also an atheist.” You’ll have to read the article for the full scoop, but I just love the post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness on display here.
I love it.
And I even love more that, according to the article, Ms. MacBain found a fool’s paradise:
MacBain recently attended the American Atheist’s convention in Maryland, where she came out as an Atheist pastor and has found a home in a new coalition helping such disbelieving clergy called “The Clergy Project: “a safe haven for active and former clergy who do not hold supernatural beliefs.”
Clergy who no longer hold supernatural beliefs?
Hey, my friends, what’s the point? That’s like a gold miner who doesn’t believe in gold. Or a pilot who doesn’t believe in flight. Or a human being who doesn’t believe in God — fools all.
Fools’ fools, these clergy of mine are.
Even Ms. Chellew-Hodge recognizes a plain, undeniable truth of existence: “Specifically,” she says, “either you’re a Christian or you’re an Atheist.”
Right she is, but that doesn’t stop post-modern, mushy-gushy, jello-mindedness from providing succor to suckers.
Now, many of you may have a negative opinion of me, being that my main delight on earth is to roam about seeking whom I may devour. Killing, stealing, and destroying is my game, after all.
But you must give me great credit for how I’m devouring “clergy” right before your eyes.
Let me impart some very sensitive kingdom knowledge to you, my good servants.
Can you keep a secret? Look around you; do you see anyone who is untrustworthy? Can any Godpunks see your screen?
OK, listen carefully and quietly. Ms. MacBain is a perfect object lesson to show how I work. I didn’t convince Ms. MacBain of the ultimate lie overnight. No, first I turned her denomination into a demonination.
Get it? I removed a correct theology from her denomination to make it a demonination, full of un-Biblical error. The very fact that a “she” holds the position she does is the first clue of abject error that leads to ultimate faithlessness (in God). But she goes further, according to the article, MacBain laments of her situation:
There are plenty of traditional Christian churches who would never have me as their pastor, because I don’t believe the majority of what orthodox Christianity says I must believe. For instance, I don’t believe in hell. I don’t believe Jesus died for anybody’s sins, but because of the sins committed against him by the powers that were in charge at the time. I don’t believe Jesus bodily rose from the dead.
Where did she learn to believe lies? Who taught her this claptrap?
Little by little I’m turning entire denominations into demoninations, slowly but surely compromising truth, selectively applying scriptural mandates, and generally pridefying entire swaths of humans so that they create their “god” in the image of man.
And a god in the image of man will always fail to the point of despair, which is what Ms. MacBain experiences daily.
Yes, I’m good.
Go ahead and say it: “You’re good!”
And do you want to know another little delight gleaned from the Religion Dispatch’s article? According to Ms. Chellew, after Ms. MacBain came out, “[p]eople shunned her.”
Ha ha ha ha ha.
And, “Only two of MacBain’s friends called her and took her to lunch.”
Where were the Christians to show God’s love?
Ha ha ha ha ha.