Virginia is for Episcopalian lovers, we like to say.
Those Episcopalians continue to delight me, my servants. Even though I’ve neutered huge swaths of the Episcopalian church to the point where it moves God’s kingdom needle not a whit, those joy boys (and girls) can still ring my love bells.
Once a real threat to my kingdom, the Episcopalians lately have become nothing more than a religious side show, making no dents in my kingdom and few gains in God’s.
What really put Episcopalians on my kingdom map was their decision in 2004 to ordain an openly gay bishop, Eugene Robinson. I like Gene, but that was childs play; virtually all my liberal religious followers do that these days. But according to this piece in the Washington Post, this past weekend the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia flew under the media radar and quietly placed a big, wet smooch right on my slobbering lips by voting to allow church-sanctioned same-sex unions.
Vote. Smooch. Virginia is for my lovers.
I might make Virginia my second home! After all, any place that votes on whether a matter is sinful or not will always eventually be home to me.
First on the ballot was a vote on whether the church should sanction sex with animals. Strangely, that was voted down because there was not 51% in favor.
Next they voted on whether to allow bishops to have child sex slaves. For some reason that was voted down; close, but still not 51% in favor.
Finally, they voted on whether to allow church-sanctioned same-sex unions. Bingo! That one passed, being okey-dokie with at least 51% of the voters.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Make no mistake, my friends, when sex with animals becomes socially acceptable and culturally demanded, the Episcopalians will be in the front of the line to ordain an openly zoosexual priest. Why not?
No, really, why not?
You see, I love people wise in their own eyes, “voting” on whether something is sinful or not. Morality by consensus will always be my morality; if not now, eventually.
My servants, let me use my Virginia Episcopalian servants to share a kingdom secret with you. Without an anchor in God’s word, human beings will always gravitate toward my morality. Whenever human beings stop taking God’s word seriously and begin to adapt church doctrine based on cultural norms, the church will die.
The Episcopalian church is practically dead as an institution; they just don’t know it. Look at it this way: if the Episcopalian church ceased to exist immediately at midnight tonight, would anyone care? Would anyone even notice?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Rest assured, my servants, we rarely see one of our captives set free by the gospel of grace through the liberal Episcopal churches anywhere in the world. They are literally preaching to the choir, and even the choir doesn’t really give a damn about God.
I’m just sayin’. My trees are known by my fruit.
That’s why one of my prime objectives on earth is to ensure that people disregard God and his word; such disregard always bears fruit for my kingdom. I don’t care if people say they believe in God as long as they don’t take God seriously. Because people who don’t take God seriously inevitably and involuntarily end up taking me seriously.
There are only two choices.
Mostly I like witnessing the sad resignation on God’s face when, once again, his putative friends push him away as a culturally irrelevant embarrassment, saying with their actions that his holy word holds no persuasion over their personal desires. I love the haughtiness of one who dares to sneer that a changing culture trumps God’s unchanging word in determining behavior in all things moral.
I know that God intended marriage to be a holy blending of man and woman in a mysterious union reflecting the relationship in the Godhead, as well as being a picture of the church as Christ’s bride. Man for woman and woman for man, what God brings together let no man tear apart.
But what about unions God does not bring together?
Don’t worry I have my peeps to bring those together; God has no say in the matter.
At least no say that 51% can’t shut their ears to!